Fighting ‘though blood was spurting from the head’

First of three parts

MANILA, Philippines—He can still hear the voices and dying moans of his fellow troopers. He was part of the Special Action Force raiding team which killed Malaysian terrorist Zulkifli Bin Hir or Marwan in Mamasapano, Maguindanao on January 25, but the deaths of nine of his “brothers” have marked him.

The SAF officer’s tactical vest. During the fighting in Mamasapano, Maguindanao, a 7.62mm bullet tore into it.

“It was traumatic for me. I can still hear their voices, their moans during their last breath. I can still hear my fellow trooper [a junior] running and following me everywhere I go,” the SAF officer told this reporter in a lengthy, exclusive interview.  The officer was hit in the chest during the fighting.

READ: Beyond the black beret-the stories of the #SAF44

Nine commandos from his company, the 84th, perished in “Oplan Exodus,” the latest attempt to capture Marwan. The 55th SAF company, which had acted as the “blocking force” supporting the raiding team, sustained 35 deaths. With a total of 44 troopers killed, Mamasapano was the deadliest police operation in memory.

(At least four civilians and 18 Moro Islamic Liberation Front rebels also died in the clash.)

The officer, pleading anonymity to be able to talk freely, recalled that after the initial skirmish, after his team identified Marwan and killed him in an exchange of fire, the raiding team still managed to crack jokes. “Once we get out of here, we will treat ourselves to Jollibee burgers,” the officer recalled saying to Senior Inspector Gednat Tabdi. The team had just sent the text message “Mike One, Bingo”—meaning the target had been obtained—to the command post.

READ: Mamasapano clash: What happened according to then SAF chief Getulio Napeñas

Around 5 a.m., the raiding unit left Marwan’s hut to regroup and review their operation map. They reached “Point 17,” a grassy area facing the Mamasapano river.

It was at Point 17 where they had their breakfast: a chocolate bar, water and crackers. For nine of the 38 troopers of the unit, it proved to be their last meal.  It was there where the raiders were informed that the blocking force was pinned down by gunfire from over 300 MILF rebels and Bangsamoro Islamic Freedom Fighters.

‘Don’t leave me’

As the firefight got worse, more and more commandos got hit. Tabdi was shot in the head, the bullet piercing his Kevlar helmet.

PO3 Virgel Villanueva was also badly hit in the head. “Lumaban siya kahit sumisirit na ‘yung dugo sa ulo niya. Kita na ‘yung part ng utak niya. Binababa namin siya pero tumatayo pa (He fought even though blood was spurting from his head. Part of his brains could be seen. We would set him down but he would sit up again),” the officer said. Villanueva died in action.

READ: SAF heroes’ last text messages were pleas for help

The officer said the troopers could have fought their way out, leaving their nine dead and 11 wounded members behind. But they stayed. “One of them even begged me, crying like a child, and told me “Don’t leave me, sir.” The officer said it would have bothered his conscience forever if they had left his brothers behind.

“One officer managed to crack a joke and said ‘Sumuko na tayo (Let’s surrender)!’ But no, not one of us wanted to give up. They were fighting gallantly until their last breath,” he said.

After the “longest gun battle in his life,” the officer had the grim task of carrying the bodies of his fellow troopers when the firing completely ceased around 6:30 p.m (not 11:30 pm as originally reported).

“I was almost crying when I was carrying their cold bodies like pigs. But I wanted to account for all bodies. That’s the least we can do for the families—to bring them back the bodies of their loved ones,” he said.

READ: ‘We had lost hope’—SAF survivor

It was only when he saw the bodies of 44 men laid in front of him that it really hit him. “I broke down after I carried each one, seeing them looking back at me,” he said.

‘Why did you abandon Dada?’

“Seeing my brothers in coffins made me break down. Especially when I see their wives na talagang yayakap (who would hug us tight). Masakit sa dibdib. Paglipat mo sa isang bangkay, breakdown na naman (It really hurts. When you move on to the next body, you break down again). It’s so emotionally draining,” he said.

The wife of a fallen friend, Police Inspector Joey Gamutan of the 55th SAF company, would not face him during the tribute for the fallen heroes at SAF headquarters in Camp Bagong Diwa in Taguig City.

“She did not want to face me. So after Camp Bagong Diwa, I went to their residence … to personally talk to her just this Wednesday,” he said.

RELATED: SAF 44’s ‘last man standing’ laid to rest

“When she finally talked to me, she said: ‘Ang sama ng loob ko sa ‘yo, pinabayaan mo si Dada (Joey). Bakit may nabuhay, tapos si Dada patay? Bakit hinayaan mo siyang mamatay (I am full of resentment against you. You abandoned Dada. Why did some live but Dada die? Why did you allow him to die?)’” he recalled, his eyes welling up and his voice quivering.

The officer said it came to a point where he felt he was responsible for the death of his fellow troopers. “Yes, there was a time I blamed myself. But I am willing to trade places with them,” he said.

He told this reporter he decided to break his silence because he wanted to tell the untold story of the 44 fallen men and “how they died and fought gallantly to make a difference and fulfil the mission.”

“Telling their story gives them justice.”

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