Harvard-certified coach explains how toxic relationships are rewiring your brain

MANILA, Philippines – Toxic relationships don’t just harm your emotions—they can fundamentally alter the way your brain works, warns occupational therapist and mental health advocate coach Hazel Calawod. 

In her latest episode on Peanut Gallery Media Network’s Youtube channel, Coach Hazel pointed out that chronic stress from toxic dynamics like gaslighting, manipulation, and neglect triggers changes in the brain that shrink vital areas responsible for memory, decision-making, and emotional regulation. 

The invisible damage can leave individuals more vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), with effects that linger long after the relationship ends.

Watch Coach Hazel Calawod’s full episode on PGMN’s Youtube channel here.

“Toxic relationships aren’t just about occasional disagreements,” Calawod explains. 

These patterns of behavior often involve persistent gaslighting, emotional manipulation, constant criticism, and a lack of empathy—leaving individuals feeling isolated and questioning their self-worth.

Gaslighting, for instance, erodes trust in one’s own perceptions. 

Calawod highlights how partners may dismiss or deny reality, causing others to doubt their memory or understanding of events. 

“Imagine a partner forgetting an important anniversary and then convincing the other person they’ve simply made a mistake. It erodes trust in oneself,” she says.

Emotional manipulation, she says, uses guilt, shame, and fear to control actions, often leaving the victim feeling trapped. 

“It’s not love—it’s a trap,” she warns, describing the dynamics that can take hold in toxic relationships.

Criticism and neglect, on the other hand, attack self-esteem directly. 

“Repeated negative comments or a failure to empathize can create a relentless sense of inadequacy,” Calawod said. 

“These dynamics, though often dismissed as personality quirks or misunderstandings, can have significant impacts on mental well-being.”

“The stress caused by toxic relationships does more than fray the nerves; it triggers physical changes within the brain,” Calawod pointed out. 

Research shows prolonged exposure to high stress can lead to shrinkage in key areas of the brain, such as the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, which are critical for memory, decision-making, and emotional regulation.

The neurological effects of these relationships extend beyond structural changes. 

They disrupt neurotransmitters and neural pathways, leaving individuals more vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and even PTSD. 

“Recognizing the signs early and taking steps to break free from such cycles is crucial,” she emphasized

While the damage can be significant, Coach Hazel assures that recovery is possible. 

With support and intervention, she says, individuals can heal and rebuild both their mental health and brain function.