Why Father’s Day won’t be the same for this Navy officer

By: Frances Mangosing - 10 years ago

Photo courtesy of Commander Ramonito Sabang

MANILA, Philippines — Father’s Day will never be the same for this Navy officer who lost all his three children to Super Typhoon Yolanda (Haiyan).

“I don’t know the meaning of Father’s Day anymore. I have no plans [on that day],” said Commander Ramonito Sabang, father of three girls: Airah Laine, 16; Shairah Mi, 11; and Mikairah Mari, 9.

“It’s really hard to adjust. If I remember what happened I get sad. Sometimes I still cry. It’s not easy to lose all your children,” Sabang told INQUIRER.net in a phone interview on Friday, June 13.

He was assigned as commanding officer of Navy ship BRP Magat Salamat (PS-20) in Eastern Mindanao but was in Cebu to fix official matters when Yolanda crippled Eastern Visayas, including Tacloban City in Leyte province seven months ago.

Sabang’s family lived in a village called Happy Homes in Leyte’s capital. The initial plan was he would either fly home or his family would fly to Cebu. But transportation had been difficult days before Yolanda hit.

“I was worried. By 7:30 a.m. [of November 8] I already lost contact with them. I asked Naval Forces Central about updates but there weren’t any,” Sabang said.

He was able to ride the first Navy ship that sailed to Tacloban after the storm by 12 midnight of November 9. They were supposed to arrive in Tacloban by Sunday afternoon, but the ship had minor problems that caused delays. They arrived about 7 p.m. on Sunday, November 10.

“When I arrived my children were just buried in a mass grave. If I had arrived earlier I could have seen them. I went to the cemetery with a Navy chaplain who was also looking for his family,” he said.

In the darkness of the night at the cemetery, he saw his wife who just came from the burial.

“By then I felt everything was shattered,” he said.

His three daughters and their househelp were killed in a 15-foot storm surge. His wife was able to survive.

The loss left him depressed. His loved ones, family and friends, consoled him.

“It will probably take years for me to recover. Even as I speak, it still hurts,” he said.

But the Navy officer never blamed anyone or God over his children’s fate and in fact even prayed harder.

“I never blamed God. I used to go to church only every Sunday but I added more days,” Sabang said, adding that his faith has become stronger.

As a military man, Sabang has spent so much time away from his family.

Military officers get a 15-day break every three months. But sometimes the requests get denied when they are on operations.

“In a way I regret that I was not able to give them my full time. But this is my work, most of my assignments are far away from my family,” the 47-year old Sabang said.

In their last Christmas together in 2012, Sabang was able to take his children to his ship. At that time they finally had an idea about the nature of his job.

“They used to think I was jobless because when I go home I only spend time with them. I cook for them, I stay at home. We go out. But just when they were beginning to understand, this happened,” he said.

Sabang is now assigned as Commander of Fleet Maintenance and Support Group of the Philippine Fleet based in Cebu.

Before the tragedy, Sabang was full of ambition just like other military officers driven in their careers.

“We all know that we work hard for our children, our families. We endure being away from our families because it is part of our career path to take certain assignments. But look at what happened. Right now, I don’t know [anymore]. Come what may,” he said.