Blue funk

Pacquiao-Loss-Syndrome” bugged us. Listlessness  spread  as we surfed reports from Inquirer,  Reuters, AP to Guardian.  They flogged the judges’ decision.

The New York Times, however,  scored it for  Timothy Bradley.  “The decision was roundly booed,” the British Broadcasting Corporation  reported.  “Despite landing 94 more punches, the Philippines fighter was beaten for the first time in seven years …”

In this blue funk, we  sifted through our  files and  stumbled across  an old “Senility Prayer”. It reads: “Grant me, Lord the senility to forget the  people I never liked anyway, and the good fortune to run into the ones I do – and the eyesight to tell the difference.”

We’re  in the youth of senility. Where is that  cane an  Indonesian  colleague gave when I retired from  the UN? Was that a  century ago?   “Count your age by the number of your friends, not by the years,” a Pampango proverb counsels.

We’ve stubbornly sworn by Lady Astor’s  stance: “I refuse to admit that I am 52  –   although that makes my sons illegitimate.”   My knees  creak. And  why  do I  peer closer at this computer screen?

“When the eyes grow dim, / When the bones creak/ When the knees go bad/  I simply remember my favorite things/  And then I don’t feel so bad,” Julie Andrews sang on her 69th birthday to the tune of “Sound of Music”.

Our  family doctor now  interjects after every two  explanatory paragraphs with: “However, when you’re  not  so young anymore…”  Or  “ you have to adjust with the years….”

Eventually, all  reach a point “when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it”, we’re  told.  When does that happen?  When former classmates are so “gray, wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.”

President Bill  Clinton   calls us “junior seniors”. We prefer the Washington Post’s  euphemism of “almost old”. In 1978, the Associated Press  cobbled  the phrase “near elderly.”

Nowadays, one discusses, with equal vehemence, the  impeachment of a chief justice to laser operations for eye cataracts. You  also appreciate  the candor of a now balding high school class Romeo: “I can do without sex but not without glasses.” He adds wistfully: “Aging is for sissies.”

The one-liners we appreciate are on hearing aids, blurry memories or  frequent medical  checkups.They’re  laced with intimations of mortality.  Jokes we swap  reflect our diminished state.

“I bought a new hearing aid that cost me P50,000,” this editor bragged. “But it’s state of the art.” The cub reporter is impressed. “Really? What’s the brand?” And the editor replies: “Twelve thirty.”

We belong to a fading generation  whose  numbers are fast dwindling. Many of the younger members of our craft are brilliant, talented and innovative. They do not share our  hobby   of  going  through the obituary page.

We hope they never have to look, as our generation did, at the business end of a Japanese (or if the  Scaraborough reef controversy intensifies , a Chinese)  bayonet.

Some of our age cohorts   were slapped around by Makapilis or Filipino quislings. Still others were confronted with mass produced martial law arrest warrants bearing the signature of  then  Defense Minister Juan Ponce  Enrile.

We’ve lived  long enough to see – and cheer – the same Juan Ponce Enrile emerge as the  steely principled  chair of the Senate impeachment  court.  Should we be surprised?  The Good Thief, after all,   wrested  paradise  in his last few hours with a one liner: “Remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

“Today marks the start of the youth of my senility,” we told friends at a recent get-together: “If I were a member of the College of Cardinals, I’d no longer be able to vote in a conclave to elect the Pope.

“The number of candles needed for  our birthday cake   would cost more than the cake itself.   If lighted, the candles would resemble  the Ninoy Aquino  International Airport’s  runway  at midnight.

When Bob  Hope turned 78, he joked:” General Eisenhower said there are three stages of life: youth, maturity –   and “God, you look good.”  Like Bob Hope, “I don’t feel old.” Like him,  “I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s  time for a nap.”

Farmers in Guatemala  have a proverb that says: “Everyone is the age of their hearts.” Oliver Wendell Holmes converted that axiom into a mathematical formula. “Old age,” he insisted, “is 15 years older than I am.”  Thus, this jurist would sigh when he saw young co-eds traipsing through Harvard Yard: “Oh, to be 70 again.”

Soon, the wife and I will  pause from brawling to mark our golden  wedding anniversary  Marriage is, as the Italians say, chiaroscuro or bittersweet –  a mix of joy and pain. Indeed, “the years teach much which the days never knew.”   The words of Scriptures also come true. “Your children shall be like olive plants around your table.”

When one advances in years, God compensates by giving  grandchildren. Time also brings in the bifocals, grey hair, the stoop. And why did those stairs turn steep all of a sudden, you  wonder.

“Seventy is the sum of our years,” the Psalmist answers. “Eighty if we are strong.” That passage of time brings a gradual but stunning revelation: That in life, there is one unchanging constant, one fact that never alters: Without fail, “God’s love always rises before each dawn.”

This truth distills into only two words what  I can only mumble: “Thank you.” That is all.

Many youngsters today  still follow the Filipino custom of  “mano po” or kissing  the hands of  elders, Whenever one reaches to “mano po” me,  we  hold back,  recalling  what King Lear told Gloucester: “Let me wipe itfirst.  It smells of mortality.”