Be brave: Grief and brain surgery survivor prevails in 2019 Bar exams

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MANILA, Philippines — A law student who endured the pain of losing her father during her last semester in law school, and, later, brain surgery in the middle of her Bar review, passed the 2019 Bar examinations.

“I was definitely on cloud nine. It was a mix of excitement and relief,” said Bianca Nerizza Infantado, a graduate of the University of Santo Tomas Faculty of Civil Law upon learning that she was among the 2,103 hopefuls who passed one of the most competitive professional exams in the country.

Infantado said there were thoughts that she would not pass, even fear of dying when she underwent surgery for a brain tumor in May 2018 while preparing for the Bar examinations.

“A part of my skull had been removed during surgery… I always had a hard time moving my neck or my head. During the months after surgery, I could not read for 10 minutes without having headaches. The numbness also left only after a month from surgery,” she said.

“The tumor was situated near the brain stem so any accidental mistake could trigger a permanent disability on my end.”

“I was never afraid of dying, though, because I know I am secured in the Lord. The moment I gained consciousness after my surgery, all I could think of was ‘Hallelujah, this is another testimony of the Lord’s grace’,” she also said.

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Weeks after the surgery, Infantado was able to graduate with her classmates in June 2018 and was already decided to take the 2018 Bar examinations until she was diagnosed with Von Hippel Lindau disease, a rare genetic disorder that causes tumors in the spine and brain, and affects an estimated 200,000 people in the world.

The desire to be a lawyer and the dream of fulfilling his late father’s dream, however, pushed her to take the Bar exams after recuperating from her operation in 2019. While in the middle of her bar review, her grandmother, her biggest fan, died.

“My Bar exam story was from how I planned it. I am a control freak who plans ahead of time, complete with contingency plans. But life took a turn and I hit rock bottom during a phase when I thought I was too close to the prize,” she wrote on Facebook.

Infantado was an award-winning debater and officer of the UST Law Debate & Moot Society and UST Law Review. She was adjudged Best Memorandum in the Foreign Direct Investment (FDI) Moot Court Competition, Asia-Pacific Regional Rounds in South Korea in 2016, and named overall best speaker in the 8th Divina Law Debate Cup.

She also finished no. 9 among the graduating batch of UST and graduated magna cum laude with a degree in political science at the Far Eastern University.

“Anyone who underwent a brain surgery would know how I felt. Studying law requires at least 10 hours of dedication each day but postoperative fatigue and severe headaches made it hard for me to sit upright and study for 30 minutes,” she said.

The days after the operation, she said, was the most painful with quite a number of doctors from neurosurgeons and endocrinologists checking up on her all the time.

“I have high pain tolerance but the pain during that time was unbearable. I remembered pleading to my mom to ask the nurse to give me more pain medications.”

Infantado said she was not new to pain as she had undergone two surgeries already in high school and in college.

Abdominal pain due to cysts in her pancreas had been also a constant struggle while memorizing codal provisions and preparing for law school recitations.

The cysts, she said, caused compression in her pancreas resulting in so much pain and trouble, including her backing out from an international moot court competition.

Losing a loved one

The first months of her review, she said,was hard with her mother Nancy taking care of her in the province.

Infantado had to travel to Manila for free Bar lectures as she was not enrolled in any Bar review center. She had to rely on friends for Bar materials since she was on hiatus for a year.

“And since I lost a part of my skull, I always had trouble with head positions while reading. But praise the Lord, trouble and pain were tolerable that time,” she said.

Her biggest and most painful challenge, however, remains to be her father’s death during her last semester in law school.

“I was traumatized and lost to the point where I could not deliver responsive and good answers during recitations and only jotted down my emotions instead of notes during recitation,” she said.

Her father Bowie died of a heart attack while in a public conveyance.

“We couldn’t rush him to the hospital due to heavy traffic. Because of the trauma, I couldn’t study at all for the first weeks of class. I would even cry during classes,” she said.

“I was really close to him; he was actually my confidante. He was the one I ran to whenever I was worried about law school concerns…He would even refrain from taking merienda breaks just to save money for my allowance. He always had the right words to lift up my spirit so losing him was probably the biggest blow I ever received” she said.

“I wanted to stop the world for a moment and take a break from law school but it’s never an option so I hustled on,” she said.

By God’s grace, she said, Infantado passed her subjects and continued attending her remaining law school courses.

Infantado, a graduate of political science from the Far Eastern University, said she wanted to be a lawyer since she was drawn to the “oppressed” and the “needy” being exposed to outreach programs and missions when she was young.

On Facebook, she thanked her family, boyfriend, professors, and friends from UST who made her journey bearable.

Infantado, who now works in a private firm in Calapan City, Oriental Mindoro, said her goal is to be a Christian lawyer who upholds the law not the caprice of his clients.

She also looks forward to engaging in litigation after gaining expertise from topnotch lawyers in her province.

Infantado said it was her faith and her father’s words of wisdom and the people covering her in prayers that helped her through and finished law in four years.

“Rest if you must but don’t you quit,” his father would always tell her.

Aspiring lawyers, she said, should never give up and put to heart Colossians 3:23: In everything you do, work at it with all your heart as if working for the Lord and not for men.

“Nothing is permanent. Your efforts are not in vain. You will eventually reap what you sow. Whenever you feel like giving up, always go back to the reason why you wanted to become a lawyer,” she said.

People cannot completely control what happens in life as humans are finite, Infantado said.

“But definitely we can be the master of our own thoughts and actions and how we react to the uncertainties. Just always be brave,” she said.