MANILA, Philippines -- The stark contrast between poor villagers concerned with how hungry birds would find food to eat and greedy politicians and officials drove star witness Rodolfo Lozada Jr. to unbosom himself Friday.

Testifying at a Senate inquiry into the controversial, now-scrapped National Broadband Network (NBN) project, Lozada said he had a difficult time reconciling his work as president of Philippine Forest Corp. (PFC), which takes him to impoverished areas, with his job as a government consultant, which takes him to swanky hotels for meetings involving high-stake deals worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

During a visit to one upland community, Lozada said he saw a tree rich with guavas and asked one of the natives why he did not harvest them all and sell them for profit.

"How he answered really struck me," Lozada told the senators. "'Sir, we leave them there. Those are for the birds'."

"I was so touched because when I looked at him, he was not rich. His slippers were old, his T-shirt was filled with holes, and yet he talks about caring for the birds."

Lozada gave the narration while being questioned by Sen. Jamby Madrigal, a scion of one of the richest families in the Philippines.

"I was really touched. I was also embarrassed for myself," Lozada said.
Lozada noted the contrast between the simplicity of the lives of the rural folk and his work in Manila--"where I deal with billion-peso projects, give (out) like P3.5 billion (in commissions), and they don't even like it."

Lozada was apparently alluding to the $130-million commission which he claimed former Commission on Elections Chair Benjamin Abalos Sr. wanted for brokering the NBN deal, when $65 million could have been "just right."

"This is what makes it hard to reconcile my life because of these extreme situations," he said. "That's why I always ask if they could just reduce their take."

Time to cry

He said such money could have gone to schools and to building roads in those upland areas.

"But it goes to few families and I don't feel it is right," added Lozada, who said he later backed off from further involvement in the deal.

Lozada looked fragile when he entered the session hall surrounded by a mob of cameramen and photographers. He embraced the sisters who filled the gallery behind the witness chair--and then he could not help but cry.

His hands shook as he drank from a goblet with warm water. He kissed the small rosary on his wrist.

He was nervous but he was prepared and sure of his story.

Self-respect

Unlike the other witnesses, Lozada did not read from a prepared statement. He spoke as though from the heart as he recounted his ordeal since his name surfaced in the NBN hearings five months ago.

He sounded self-deprecating and even had to ask permission from the senators if he could decline to answer some of their probing questions.

Lozada was apologetic, too. He admitted that he had his own sins, but that he wanted to save whatever respect he still had in himself so he could save his soul.

Lozada was a loyal friend to former Socioeconomic Planning Secretary Romulo Neri, and kept his testimony strictly to his dealings on the NBN. He declined to be dragged into answering intimate questions regarding Neri.

Sharp wit

He was just out for the truth, not to demolish friends, he said.

Lozada answered questions straight, from the NBN's financial viability to its technical specifications. He also showed his intimate knowledge of how a deal was done and how cuts were made.

Several times, he raised laughter in the gallery with his wit.

It was his sense of humor that helped him through the marathon Senate hearing, despite his palpable fear of the government.

After breaking down at the start of the hearing, he recovered to narrate his story about the NBN project, hardly referring to his scribbled notes. By then he was relaxed.

Lozada admitted he had some questionable dealings as president of a state-owned firm.

But he said it was nowhere in the league of the commission Abalos wanted for the NBN deal.

Sen. Francis Escudero likened the NBN project to the US National Basketball Association (NBA), and Lozada's PFC projects to a "barangay liga."

"Siguro po intramurals lang sa school," Lozada interjected, drawing another round of laughter.

Thoughts of Bubby Dacer

When Senate President Manuel Villar asked how he was, Lozada said he had found a way to drastically lose weight in just a few days.

"Yung pantalon na dinala sa akin, muntik nang mahubo (The pants given to me almost fell off). I've lost two inches," he said.

Recalling his abduction by armed men upon his arrival from Hong Kong, Lozada said his fear heightened when he heard the men said that he would be brought to Dasmariñas, Cavite.

"Naalala ko si (I remembered) Dacer," he said, referring to the top public relations agent Salvador "Bubby" Dacer who, along with his driver, was summarily executed in Cavite.

At that remark, some people in the audience turned toward Sen. Panfilo Lacson, whose close associate, former police Col. Michael Ray Aquino, was implicated in the twin deaths.

Aquino escaped prosecution by fleeing to the United States where he is serving a jail term for espionage.