I watched without blinking an eye a man with a hairy chest and a very beautiful and shapely woman doing a sizzling ?slam bang? in bed on my friend?s computer yesterday morning.

I thought I was watching another pornographic scene on the Internet until my former drinking buddy, Freddie, who owns the computer, told me it was the controversial Hayden Kho.

The poor woman, whom I?ve seen on a TV commercial, apparently didn?t know that the bed scene was being recorded on a video camera.

?Poor girl,? I said to Freddie.

?She?s no ordinary model, pare, she?s a doctor. She was Hayden?s classmate at medical school,? said my friend, who?s up-to-date on the latest gossips in town.

?Oh, my God, how could he do that to his college girlfriend,? I asked.

?He?s done that [record his sex act on video] with [name of a well-known actress] and put it in the Internet. You wanna watch that bed scene with [the actress]??

I said no thanks; I had had enough pornography for the day.

* * *

Dr. Hayden Kho, who shot to fame after he was linked to a celebrity cosmetics doctor, Vicki Belo, must be sick in the head.

His medical license should be revoked by the Professional Regulations Commission.

A psychotic doctor should not be allowed to practice a noble profession.

Before we parted, Freddie and I agreed on one thing: If that girl whom Hayden exposed to the world were our daughter he would be dead by now.

I?m sure most fathers would have the same mindset about that maniac in doctor?s garb.

* * *

There were other things Freddie and I were in complete agreement.

Call it sourgrapes, but Hayden is not a sex athlete as he would want to project himself.

The slam bang video from start to finish took only one minute and thirty-six seconds, which is below par in sexual calisthenics.

Another thing Freddie and I noticed: Hayden is not well endowed down there.

If he wants to be a pornography star after losing his doctor?s license, he should ask his girlfriend to make his equipment proportional to his six-foot-one-inch height.

* * *

I am filing a criminal complaint against Hayden Kho.

I will charge him in court with illegal possession of a not-so-deadly weapon.

Hehehe!

* * *

Why are Filipinos so sensitive over insulting remarks made by foreigners?

The latest slur on Pinoys is the remark made by Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin about getting a Filipina mail-order bride during a late night talk show.

Let?s grin and bear it: Foreigners insult us because we?re a poor nation.

We send women to Japan and other countries who become prostitutes.

The Philippines is a source of domestic helpers who are college graduates.

We are a source of slave labor in much the same way Africa was the source of slaves for the Americas in the 18th century.

We Filipinos should be aware that we live in a dog-eat-dog world. The strong oppress the weak.

But let?s do something about our condition. Let?s become a prosperous nation so no foreigner will make fun of us in the future.

The insults we receive should prod us to improve ourselves.

Charles Atlas, one of the strongest men in the world in his time, was an 80-pound weakling. He was a pushover.

One day when Charles was a young man, some big guys kicked a sandcastle he built with his girlfriend on the beach. He couldn?t fight back because of his size.

Atlas metamorphosed into a man with a Mr. Universe physique.

Filipinos should do a Charles Atlas.