Santiago on Purisima, oldest profession and being ‘heaven sent’

Video by INQUIRER.net’s Ryan Leagogo

MANILA, Philippines – Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago didn’t look like she was battling Stage 4 lung cancer Friday as she dished out her usual jokes before delivering a speech at a realtors’ convention where she took the opportunity to take a swipe at certain government officials and institutions hounded by corruption allegations.

Philippine National Police Director General Alan Purisima, under fire for allegedly receiving donations to build the controversial “white house” inside the Camp Crame national headquarters of the Philippine National Police in Quezon City, was on top of her list.

“…I have to navigate from where I live in Quezon City all the way here to Muntinlupa. You know that is an entire epic journey to come. From Quezon City passing Makati kasi baka may madaanan kang pulis. Ngayon any pulis, nanghihingi sya, para patayo siya ng bahay hihingi siya ng pera para pambayad sa bahay nya,” she said, referring to Purisima’s controversial property in San Leonardo, Nueva Ecija.

Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago. Photo by RYAN LEAGOGO/INQUIRER.net

“Ang mga pulis pala ngayon, kunwari nabibilad dyan sa initan o sa ulanan pero may mga 5 hectares estate kontodo swimming pool. Naka landscape pa…” the senator said before the annual national convention of the Philippine Association of Real Estate Boards, Inc.

After that dig at the PNP chief, Santiago then proceeded to deliver her jokes to the delight of the crowd.

“Ang unang bagay na gusto kong malaman sa inyo ay ito: Hindi ba nagbebenta kayo ng mga house, o sino sa inyo ang nagbenta ng House of Representatives?” she said, adding “Makakatikim sa akin ng suntok yan.”

She also talked about the story of a realtor, architect and politician debating as to who has the oldest profession.

“Sabi ng realtor: “Sa amin ang pinakamatandang propesyon. Ang sabi sa Bible: the Lord God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it.  Si God ang unang realtor.”

“Sabi ng architect: Mali ka. Naunang naging architect si God. He first created the universe out of darkness and chaos.

Sabi naman ng pulitko: Mali kayo. Nauna ang putlitiko. Sa tingin nyo, sino ang gumawa ng darkness and chaos?”  Santiago said.

And then the senator had another story about a married couple who bought a haunted house.

“Ganyan ang Senado, talagang haunted. Papasok ka pa lang, tatayo na ang buhok mo e…” she said, again eliciting laughter from the audience and then went on with her story.

“Lumapit itong mag asawang ito sa isang pari para magpa blessing ng bahay upang mawala ang masamang espiritu. Nagpasalamat ang mag-asawa sa pari pero dahil kakabili nila ng bahay, wala silang mabigay na donasyon sa pari. Sinabi ng pari sa mag asawa:  Bayaran  niyo ako sa susunod na linggo, kung hindi mare-repossess ang bahay nyo.”

And did you know the story behind the saying, “heaven sent?”

“Noong bata ako umakyat ako sa bubong ng bahay namin, hindi ako kinaya ng bubong namin kaya nalaglag ako. Mula noon nauso na ang term na hulog ng langit,” said Santiago.

And that last quip brought the house down.

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