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The ‘Iron Lady’ and her battalion of pick-up lines, quotes

/ 03:24 PM September 29, 2016
miriam santiago

Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago.
INQUIRER FILE PHOTO / NINO JESUS ORBETA

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago passed away Thursday, leaving behind a cluster of pick-up lines and dynamic statements that will certainly continue to regale many Filipinos, young and old alike.

Despite being diagnosed with lung cancer in 2014, the feisty and gallant public servant never surrendered her battle against corruption and “politicians with low IQ.”

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In 2014, she launched her book “Stupid Is Forever,” a collection of snappy and witty pick-up lines from her numerous speeches and Senate hearings. She drew inspiration from the “millions of stupid people” who bequeathed her an avenue of ideas for her pick-up lines. She wrote a sequel in 2015, entitled “Stupid Is Forevermore.”

READ: Miriam’s last words: ‘I accept this. I don’t want to do anything heroic
Here are Santiago’s sharpest yet “cheesiest” quotes from her bestselling books:

“May high blood pressure ako dahil napapaligiran ako ng mga taong mababa ang IQ.”

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“I eat death threats for breakfast.”

“Yes, I go to Mass every day. Sometimes, I pray that God will turn my enemies into pillars of salt.”

“Alarm clock ka ba? Kasi paggising ko, Ikaw ang gusto kong patayin.”

“As for all those jerks in government who are my enemies, they are the reason why God created the middle finger!”

“Ito ang advice ko sa’yo: Face your fears! Pero kapag nakita mo kaaway mo, sabihin mo sa kanya: ‘Fear your face!'”

“Boy: Tubig ka ba? Kasi kung hindi mo ako crush, wala kang taste.

Girl: Eh ikaw, tubig ka ba?

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Boy: Bakit?

Girl: Kasi I can’t wait for you to evaporate.”

“Maliban sa bone marrow disorder ko, malala ang mga sakit ko. May sakit ako sa puso because I’m always heartbroken, when I see corruption.”

“Dalawang beses lang naman kita gustong makasama: Now and forever.”

“Kung magkaroon ka man ng third eye, ilagay mo ito sa puso mo para hindi ka na mabulag sa pag ibig.”

“Tinanong ang mga nanay kung ano ang ipinapainom sa mga anak nila.

Nanay 1: Bonakid. Para sa batang may laban.

Nanay 2: Emperador. Para sa totoong tagumpay.

Nanay 3: Tubig ng Maynilad, dahil dumadaloy ang ginhawa.”

“Ano ang sabi ng dagat sa isa pang dagat? Wala, nag-wave lang siya.”

BACKSTORY: Santiago: ‘I’m tired’

“Paano mo sasabihin sa kausap mo na maitim ang kili-kili niya nang hindi siya magagalit? Ganito: Ano ba ang ginagamit mong deodorant, Kiwi shoe polish?”

“Kapag namatay na ako, huwag na huwag kang pupunta sa libingan ko. Baka tumibok ulit ang puso ko.”

“Ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo ay parang langka. Langka-tapusan.”

“Mag-exchange gift tayo? Akin ka at sa iyo naman ako.”

“Hindi lahat ng sweet ay loyal sa ’yo. Tandaan, sweet nga ang candy, pero nakabalot naman sa plastic.”

“Kapag sinabi sa iyo ng boyfriend mo na nanlalamig na siya sa iyo, buhusan mo ng gasolina at silaban mo!”

“Pedicab ka ba? PEDICABang i-date sa Valentines Day?”

“If somebody asks: Kamusta ang lovelife? Just answer back: ‘Katulad mo, panget!'”

“National Anthem ka ba? Kasi tuwing naririnig ko ang boses mo, napapahawak ako sa dibdib ko.”

“When the husband says, ‘Ako ang tigas sa amin.’ He really means: ‘Ako ang tigas-saing ng kanin, tigas-sampay ng labada, tigas-sama sa palengke at tigas-sundo sa eskwela ng mga bata.’”

“Tapos na ba ang exams mo? Pwedeng ako naman ang sagutin mo?”

“Can you recommend me a good bank? Because I am saving all my love for you.”

“Pahingi ako ng papel, papel sa buhay mo.”

“Tanungin ninyo ang boyfriend o girlfriend ninyo: Ano ang pinagkaiba mo sa tubig?
Ang tubig, iniigib; Ikaw, iniibig.”

“Sana scientist ako, para ikaw naman ang lab ko.”

“Pangalan mo pa lang kinikilig na ako, paano pa kaya kung magkaapelyido na tayo?”

“I don’t think I’ll succumb to lung cancer. Tongue cancer pa, siguro.”/rga

RELATED STORIES:

Miriam leaves the world ‘less wise, less bright’ – Marcos

Miriam Defensor-Santiago passes away at 71

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TAGS: Miriam Defensor-Santiago, Pick-up lines, Stupid is Forever, Stupid is Forevermore
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