Avoidable tragedy

EDITORIAL CARTOON

The tragedy that is the Ponce family massacre, which occurred in Talisay City last Sunday, is the third major parricide case in Cebu province this year.

Like many cases of domestic violence,  this didn’t happen overnight.

It takes a slow burn to  destroy the fabric of a family that hangs on, enduring the most difficult strains behind a curtain of silence.

Take it from Yolanda Daan, wife of Provincial Board member Julian Daan, who was the first neighbor to respond to the cries of help from the family’s 13-year-old daughter.

Yolanda said the wife of former seaman Emmanuel Ponce, Melinda, told her during a meeting of the subdivision homeowners association about  beatings that she suffered at his hands.

The strained marriage was an open secret. Quarrels were  witnessed by neighbors  but as in many communities, the trials of married life are endured privately.

No complaint was ever blottered in the police station or brought before a barangay court.

We may never know the trigger that provoked Emmanuel Ponce to decide once and for all to take the lives of his wife, three adult children and a house keeper.

There’s talk of a husband’s jealousy or paranoia,  a nervous breakdown linked to a head injury 10 years ago that required surgery and his early retirement as an overseas seaman,  flashes of anger, depression, financial challenges, even  of drug use.

Relatives talk about admissions of spousal abuse.

Despite his implacable fury,  Emmanuel Ponce had enough mercy left in his heart towards his youngest daughter, whom he told to get out before he killed them all.

We could only speculate about the immediate cause of the violence. And assigning blame wouldn’t do any good for the young girl, who survived the decimation of her family.

There is, however,  an alarm bell being rung about the fragile state of families living under the strain of domestic violence.

Somwhere at some time, someone cries for help.

That cry should be answered with counselling, professional intervention, and if need be the physical separation of individuals who are put in harm’s way, especially if children are involved.

“Earlier intervention in violence at home would have a better outcome for the family. If help was sought, something could be done,”  said Dr. Glenda Basubas, chairperson of the Philippine Mental Health Association – Cebu chapter.

The reluctance to report cases of domestic violence is due to the wrong notion that it is a “private matter”.  Then the suffering repeats itself.

This is a cycle we have to break.

The problem remains because the issue is not properly addressed in society and there is lack of information about the issue, which leads to a negative stigma.