Have you ever experienced failing in an examination? Do you recall why you failed? It could be for many reasons. Obviously, one of them is that we didn’t study for the exam. The reasons for not preparing adequately for an exam can usually be attributed to laziness or presumption. But all these only demonstrate that we did use our heads to prepare for it before and during.
If we want to ‘flunk porn’, that is, not to be enslaved by it we must also learn to use sound reason –including the ‘uncommon’ common sense– in the struggle against this irrational or bestial vice.
Now, to use one’s reason at the precise moment when our passions are starting to dominate us is not easy. A lot would ‘complain’ that they never hurdle this stage and eventually give in to their lust. Indeed, it is discouraging! But it also affords a very important lesson: thinking and planning ahead.
Reason can be employed in the following way:
(a) study yourself: this is the sincerity and courage to know oneself by detecting where the occasions of sin are, what we could easily seek out as our ‘default idle comfort zones’ that eventually compromise our purity;
(b) study greater possibilities: the determination to invest and spend our talents and time on useful intellectually forming activities (e.g. learn a language, read a book, write a story or memorize poetry) over mere audio-visual indulgence (e.g. YouTube, mp3s, FaceBook and similar click-escape outlets);
(c) allow yourself to be studied: among the best means to overcome our weakness is to get some extra help. Students have tutors, and God’s children, well, they have spiritual guides or directors. If we exercise sincerity and docility, we would have already overcome much of our problems in the struggle.
(d) the proactive use of our time: which should not only be focused on filling the ‘dead moments’ of our day or simply as a ‘means’ to avoid vice, but to maximize time in view of the others and to serve them (e.g. living a daily schedule, save on allowance to later use for charity, forfeit ourselves of licit comfort to allow others to relax, etc.)
(e) the quantitative measure of skills gained for tomorrow: if we invest on our time well now, in other words, if we waste time on porn today, will that help me to gain anything for the future? Let’s not invest on sin, when we cannot reap anything from it anyway.
(f) be considerate and thoughtful of others: when we reason out that indulging in porn can distort the way we look at our loved ones and close friends, and will help us to avoid dirty looks or feelings towards anyone who deserve to be respected.
(g) help others to study: one of the most useful means to get out of the vicious circle of our ego is to think about others. In spiritual terms, this is called apostolate. When we sincerely begin to think more of others, we end up praying, sacrificing and serving them more. As a consequence, we hit two birds with one stone –although the object is not simply to overcome our vices but because of love– and in the final run we fortify our own convictions by helping others grow in their respective professional and spiritual commitments.
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“All healthy men, ancient and modern, Eastern and Western, know there is a certain fury in sex that we cannot afford to inflame, and that a certain mystery and awe must ever surround it if we are to remain sane.” G.K. Chesterton