Unveiling the contraceptive mentality

Below are some negative human reactions that one could experience from day to day:

a) One easily gets irritated or frustrated by things that go wrong in work, family and even in leisure.

b) One becomes worried and insecure about what people might think or say about him.

c) One tends to be controlling of people and events. There is a great deal of attachment to how one wants things and results to be according to his or her perceptions.

d) One tends to be materially insecure and attaches too much importance to possessions and considers them as a standard for dealing or not with others.

e) One does not readily accept his or her mistakes. He either justifies himself of blames it on others or other circumstantial variables.

f) One experiences unpredictable emotional highs and lows that have no explanation despite one’s material well-being and comfort.

We may have seen these reactions in others or experienced them ourselves. We usually attribute them to a person’s temperamental makeup or family background. Experts in human behavior would link them to certain psychological disorders or complexes.

From an anthropological analysis, it is rather striking that these disorders may be attributed to the person’s incomplete development. This often occurs when he or she lacks the integral exercise of the virtues which results to instabilities in character and social dealings.

In the spiritual life such reactions are often rooted in a “bothered or restless conscience” because one chooses not to fulfill a good desired by God for the person’s human and supernatural integrity. This occurs, for example, when one does disregards God’s plans for human love and the transmission of life through a contraceptive mentality.

Elzbieta Wojcik makes the following striking observation: “The contraceptive attitude means that a part of the personality is excluded consciously, egoistically, and immaturely from the pathway of development. If human development is disturbed and inhibited, the human ego revolts. This revolt may take the form of inner restlessness or various neurotic reactions such as apathy, aggression, etc. The human mind defends itself against this inner restlessness and tries to get rid of it by using various defense mechanisms such as repression, rationalization, regression, transference, etc. These unconscious reactions lead to neurosis development, depression, neurasthenia.” (Natural Regulation of Conception and Contraception, International Review of Natural Family Planning 9, no. 4 [Winter 1985: 306-26])

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Man is a creature naturally oriented towards personal development and its fullest sense that is his perfection. Man’s mind is constantly restless in capturing what is good and what can be better; and his will seconds this knowledge by putting the necessary means to obtain it.

We, however, experience that the state of perfection or total fulfillment of one’s well-being is something that cannot be attained here in life. Otherwise there would be no need of doctors if perfect health were obtained, neither of soldiers if perfect peace and justice were maintained, nor of teachers if perfect knowledge were acquired.

In this lifetime task of personal development and growth, the acquisition of virtue becomes indispensable. Virtue, the habit of doing good, allows man to naturally and integrally improve aspects of his character and social dealings. This effort requires putting into play our intelligence, will and freedom in choosing and doing good. This is the most human and natural way towards personal perfection.

This is further enriched by our Lord’s example, teachings and His invitation of holiness addressed to all men. Man’s path towards perfection is further enhanced by God’s grace through the theological virtues of faith, hope and charity. Man now tries to best assimilate God’s will to attain the highest form of perfection now open for him: holiness. Sanctity, therefore, becomes the standard for man’s comprehensive personal and spiritual development.

Despite this, experience shows that acquiring virtue is not always as positive as one expects. We may witness a man angrily kicking his car that had suddenly stalled in the middle of traffic, a woman punching a malfunctioning ATM or a young boy screaming at a vending machine that doesn’t respond to his choice, etc. Our very own shortcomings sometimes give us an irresistible urge for some elixir for impatience, gossiping, indifference, anger, and laziness, etc.

We would, however, immediately rectify this desire because if such an elixir ever existed, then virtue itself and personal integration would be meaningless. Moreover, we would humbly admit that the path towards perfection ‘littered with unwanted inconsistent personal traits’ is actually a genuine road to practice virtue.

There are some who believe that virtue does not apply to certain powers in man related to his generative faculties and their fruits. Such a misconception is due to a pessimistic vision of man’s capacity—natural and spiritual—to orient this generative gift to further self dominion and to serve others out of love. The exercise of virtue concerns everything in the person. There is nothing in his existence that can be excluded from the rich cooperation of the theological and moral virtues.

In this light, Elzbieta Wojcik states that the virtue in “the acceptance of abstinence for the natural control of conception, the importance lies not so much in self-control as in the recognition of a true hierarchy of values, making human sexuality subordinated to true love, that is, love and adoration for God, the spouse, the child to be possibly born, and also oneself. Life should be compatible with truth, and truth is connected with the development and inner freedom of man.” (Natural Regulation of Conception and Contraception, International Review of Natural Family Planning 9, no. 4 (Winter 1985): 306-26)

When an ego-materialistic outlook of man is maintained, the practice of virtue is restricted to certain spheres of the person’s life. In fact, man’s perfection is no longer sought for since virtue is lived for virtue’s sake with only one thing in mind: CONTROL. This implies that the outcome of even the minutest action must be machine perfect, devoid of any error whatsoever. This has slights manifestations in professional and social engagements in the form of a compulsive obsession.

When this mentality is applied to the nature and consequences of man’s sexual acts the person ‘mechanizes’ sex in order to extract only a desire portion of it: pleasure. But this same attitude also ‘mechanizes’ the person so that the natural results of the act would only follow what one artificially desires out of selfishness. A perception and behavior like this does not allow any space for virtue (since machines cannot exercise virtues) then easily gives way to the pill, the condom and many other alternative forms of contraception.

Thus, Wojcik states, “Conflicts are normal in human life and, if after thinking them over an individual chooses a solution agreeing with accepted values and with truth, they may aid in personality development. Man acts inconsequently when he uses contraception in marital life: He wants to act but at the same time he fears and rejects the natural effects of his action, trying to prevent them by artificial means. In this way an internal split or ambivalence appears which also contributes to neurosis development.” (Ibid.)

With these observations we are not generalizing that such negative psychological and emotional vibes are always resulting from a contraceptive attitude. What is obvious is that they are more likely to arise when we do not follow a virtuous path to live and embrace the God-given consequences of such a sacred gift as our human sexuality.