Father’s Day without dad: Frontline medical worker’s family sees who he was for those he helped

MANILA, Philippines—He wore many hats—as a government worker, professor, dentist, church lector and medical frontline worker. But to his daughters, the most important hat that Dr. Raymond V. Reyes wore was as a father.

Marymon, the youngest of Dr. Raymond’s two daughters, would remember this Sunday (June 20) as the family’s First Father’s Day without her father.

Dr. Raymond was public dentist at Earnshaw Health Center in Manila, professor at National University’s (NU) College of Dentistry, dentist at his private clinic and lector and commentator at the Archdiocesan Shrine of Our Lady of Loreto Parish.

When the pandemic struck, Dr. Raymond wore another hat—that of a medical frontline worker in a quarantine facility for COVID-19 patients.

“Hindi na niya binigyan ng hesitation. So sabi namin, if you’re going to continue with that social responsibility, mag-ingat na lang tayo,” Marymon told INQUIRER.net, recalling a conversation with her late father.

(He did not hesitate. So we told him if you’re going to continue with that social responsibility, just take extra care of yourself.)

This was the same response of Marymon’s mother, Mary Jean, a COVID-19 frontline worker at the Manila Emergency Operations Center. Constant exposure to risks prompted the family to set up health protocols at home—taking a bath upon arrival and minimizing going out unless necessary.

DR. RAYMOND V. REYES WEARING PPE AT THE EARNSHAW HEALTH CENTER IN MANILA, WHERE HE WORKED AS A PUBLIC DENTIST. PHOTO FROM REYES FAMILY

When cases began to rise further, Marymon wondered if the precautions the family was taking had been enough to keep them safe from COVID-19, which still has no known cure.

Marymon tried to talk her father out of staying on the job as a frontline medical worker, telling him the family would be financially stable even if Dr. Raymond gave this job up in exchange for his safety. She admitted getting caught in a dilemma, thinking it felt “selfish” for her to stop his father from what he does for COVID-19 patients.

“Ang naisip naman po noon ni papa, kulang na nga raw po ng tauhan doon sa facilities. Napapaisip rin siya kung aalis na siya. Kaso ang nagiging bottom line non, laban,” Marymon said.

(But what papa thought at the time was we were lacking manpower in the facilities. He pondered about leaving but the bottom line was to fight.)

Dr. Raymond sometimes opted to isolate himself in his private clinic. At times, the health center in Manila that shuttered for a time served as his temporary home. He also took vitamins regularly and brought extra personal protective equipment (PPE) in his car to try to keep coronavirus at bay.

“Kaso ‘yun nga lang, despite na sobrang linis namin, sobrang strict ng protocols namin pati dito sa bahay at sa paglabas ng bahay, hindi namin nalagpasan yung nangyari kay papa,” Marymon said.

(Despite our cleanliness and hygiene, our strict protocols inside the house, and when going out, we did not overcome what happened to my father.)

Greatest battle

What Marymon described as her family’s greatest battle began when her father came home feeling unwell. Having aunts and uncles who are also doctors, Marymon said the family felt it had an assurance someone will be able to take good care of her father.

But after his first COVID-19 RT-PCR test came out negative, the famil became unsure of what the enemy was. Dr. Raymond underwent regular checkup and doctors saw no problem prompting the family to continue caring for him at home.

It came to a point where he decided to take a week-long leave of absence at the beginning of the semester to recuperate from his condition.

“Ang sa akin, ang sakit lang kasi mahal din ni papa yung magturo. Gustong gusto niyang nagtuturo siya ng dentistry. Hindi mo mapinta yung mukhang maihaharap mo kay papa,” Marymon said.

(For me, it hurt because my father loved teaching. He enjoyed teaching dentistry. I did not know how to react when he decided to sit out of his classes.)

DR. RAYMOND V. REYES AT THE NATIONAL UNIVERSITY WHERE HE WAS PROFESSOR AT THE COLLEGE OF DENTISTRY. PHOTO FROM REYES FAMILY

When Dr. Raymond’s condition kept changing with fluctuating high and low fever, Marymon said this was when the family decided to bring him to a hospital in Marilao, Bulacan.

What started as a hopeful battle became a gloomy fight as it became harder for Dr. Raymond to breathe. He underwent another COVID-19 RT-PCR test which came out negative, allowing him to transfer to an intensive care unit in another hospital in Caloocan City.

“Bago siya nilipat, nakita pa namin si papa ng one last time. He was not looking good, if I have to say. Hindi na rin siya noon masyadong makasalita kasi hirap na siyang huminga. Pero kinawayan niya kami,” Marymon said.

(Before he was transferred, we saw papa one last time. He was not looking good if I have to say. He was not able to speak because he was having a hard time breathing. Still, he waved at us.)

Indeed, it was the last time Marymon saw her father alive. Dr. Raymond died of severe pneumonia, on Aug. 28, 2020.

Life in honor, love, faith

Marymon, 20, admitted feeling wronged about her father’s death.

“Parang hindi naman namin deserve na mawalan ng ama na sobrang aga. Hindi pa ako gumagraduate, hindi pa gumagraduate yung ate ko. Hindi pa namin nabibigay sa kanya kung ano yung gusto naming ibalik na pasasalamat sa lahat ng ginawang sakripisyo at suporta niya,” she said.

(I feel like we don’t deserve to lose our father this early. I haven’t graduated, neither have my sister. We haven’t given him the gratitude we feel for all his sacrifices and support to us.)

Even arranging her father’s funeral felt strange since it came too early, not when the children were already in their 40s or 50s.

“Kung pwede lang bumalik ng oras at panahon na unang araw pa lang na papasok sila papa bilang frontliners, kung pwede lang hininto na namin. Wag na, wag na kayong pumasok. Kahit si mama wag na. Pero hindi rin natin mapipigilan kasi dedicated sila in public service,” Marymon said.

(If only I could return to the time when they first served as frontliners, if only I could, I would have stopped them. Just stop, don’t continue this. I would even stop my mother. But we cannot do that because of their dedication to public service.)

Marymon herself is proof of her father’s love for public service. Strangers would approach her asking if she was a daughter of Dr. Raymond who, in some way, extended help to them when they needed it.

“‘Diba po kayo yung anak ni Dr. Raymond?’ Many of them will say, yes, pasyente sila ni papa. But most of them will also say na humingi lang kami ng tulong sa kanya dati and tinulungan lang kami ng papa mo. Ang sarap sa puso na ganung karaming tao na pala yung nagmamahal kay papa,” she said.

(Aren’t you the daughter of Dr. Raymond? Many of them will say yes, they are my father’s patients. But most of them will also say they only asked for help from my father. It feels good that many people love my father.)

Even before her father died, Marymon said it seemed like time prepared the family for what happened.

“Napakilala sa amin ni papa ang mundo, kung paano ka gagalaw sa mundo na ito, paano mo iingatan ang sarili mo, ang career mo. Kung paano mo ibuibuild yung sarili mo in the future. Kaya iniisip ko, hinanda ba kami ng panahon o nagkataon lang na nangyari ito?” Marymon said.

(My father introduced the world to us, how you will move, how you will take care of yourself, how you will build your career in the future. It made me think, did time prepare us for this or did it just so happen?)

“Doon siya naging successful bilang tatay. Naipakilala niya yung sarili niya sa amin, naipakilala niya yung mundo sa amin kaya kahit naiwan niya kami nang maaga. We were equipped with the strength at pagmamahal para labanan pa sa susunod na dekada.”

(That’s where he was very successful as a father. He introduced himself to us, he introduced the world to us even if he left us early. We were equipped with strength and love to fight the coming decades without him.)

DR. RAYMOND V. REYES AS A LECTOR AT THE ARCHDIOCESAN SHRINE OF THE OUR LADY OF LORETO PARISH. PHOTO FROM REYES FAMILY

That is why medical frontline workers responding to the pandemic are not just anyone for Marymon. They sacrifice their lives to save more lives.

Even if he had to work for long hours, expose himself to risks, bear the low hazard pay, Marymon knew his father would have continued to live life the way he did—serving people with no iota of regret.
“Anyone could have walked out the door. Marami ang umalis, marami ang umayaw. But papa remained. Kasi it was the call of duty, the call of service, and the call of purpose. He lived his purpose until the very end,” Marymon said.

(Anyone could have walked out the door. Many already left and resigned. But papa remained. Because it was his call of duty, the call of service, and the call of purpose. He lived his purpose until the very end.)

“He lived a life in honor. He lived a life in love. He lived a life in faith. Naging totoong superhero siya sa lahat ng tao.”

TSB