The visited and the visitor

(On the Occasion of World Day of the Sick, Feb. 11)

Sometimes caring for the sick can be a very burdensome and unfulfilling task. We must, however, realize that Christ delights in the sacrifice we put in serving our brothers and sisters who may be ill. We will soon discover, if we are patient and compassionate, the treasures that sick people are.

Lawrence G. Lovasik says: “Sickness brings out many a lovable feature in a person. In sickness, a man becomes once more a man, stripped of official garb and externals of position and honor. Whatever he may have been, upon a bed of suffering he becomes like any simple child in need of help. Sickness makes people more simple and humble.

“A kind of divine radiance plays over the poor human features of a sick person, for, in some way, he resembles the suffering Christ, outwardly disfigured so that He had no form or comeliness that we should look at Him, and no beauty that we should desire Him. (Isa. 53:2) Perhaps inwardly he is sad, as Christ was when He said, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death.’ (Mt 26:38) There is nothing that the sick suffer that Christ has not suffered before him.” (Op. cit. L.G. Lovasik)

We must help those who visit the sick to also discover the gem that our sick brethren are. “It is told how St. John of the Cross was once washing the feet of a humble beggar, when suddenly there appeared on the feet he was washing the stigmata of our Lord. Unperturbed and with utter simplicity, the saint looked up into the beggar’s eyes and said, ‘So it is You, Lord.’” (Op. cit. L.G. Lovasik)

A few ideas:

* It is important to know who plan to visit and how many. The patient’s privacy and rest are our primary and constant concern. Thus, many visitors might sound great, but not at the expense of the patient’s health and recovery.

* In some sensitive cases, it is advisable to inform the visitors that there is no need to ask the patient about his or her illness, less it could make the person more depressed. Encourage them to talk about cheerful and inspiring topics.

* Make the visitors useful. Scheduled visits may be a good chance to request the arriving relatives and friends to bring some things that would delight the patient (i.e., flowers, chocolates, some things at home, etc.)

A simple exercise for the sick person in bed or the hospital:

– Make a list of five people who are most likely to pay you a visit.

– Make a list of five people who are most unlikely to visit you.

– Say a prayer or a simple offering for each of these persons.

* * *

Sometimes the best gift we can give our loved ones who are sick is the gift of kindness and affection. Undoubtedly, this can be manifested in very material and concrete details. Our loved ones, however, can sometimes already be filled with peace, joy and understanding if we also learn to genuinely give ourselves to them.

This is beautifully described in a story once narrated by Benedict XVI in his book “God and the World: Believing and Living in Our Time, A Conversation with Peter Seewald.”

“There is a lovely story told by Rilke. The poet tells how, in Paris, he used to always to pass a woman into whose hat someone had thrown a coin. The beggar woman was always quite unmoved by this, as if she had no feelings at all.

“One day, Rilke gives her a rose. And in that moment her face glows. He sees for the first time that she does have feelings. She smiles, and then for a week she is no longer there begging because someone has given her something that is more than money.

“I think that is such a lovely little incident in which you can see that sometimes a rose, a little act of giving, of affection, of acceptance of the other person, can be more than many coins or other material gifts.”

Likewise, we should realize that it isn’t necessary to do extraordinary things for the sick. Like our Lord’s miniature gesture of “taking the hand” of Peter’s mother-in-law, we can also express in a thousand small hidden details of affection our love, care and compassion for those who are sick.

* * *

“On the occasion of the World Day of the Sick, which we will celebrate on Feb. 11, 2012, the Memorial of Our Lady of Lourdes, I wish to renew my spiritual closeness to all sick people who are in places of care or are looked after in their families, expressing to each one of them the solicitude and the affection of the whole Church. In the generous and loving welcoming of every human life, above all of weak and sick life, a Christian expresses an important aspect of his or her Gospel witness, following the example of Christ, who bent down before the material and spiritual sufferings of man in order to heal them. ” (Pope Benedict XVI, 20 Nov. 20, 2011, Solemnity of our Lord Jesus Christ, Universal King)