Two nurses, a carpenter, and those they left behind: Families of fallen frontliners cope, still need support

Noble frontliners all: Arvin Pascual, Maria Theresa Cruz and Manuel Buenconsejo; courtesy of Karen Ivy Pandi, Joie Cruz and Melody Buenconsejo

As the world hopes to welcome a new year with a lessened threat of the coronavirus, the families of fallen COVID-19 frontliners are still learning to cope with their losses. And with news of vaccines passing clinical tests, Melody Buenconsejo, a 38-year-old mother of four, hopes that her children can soon return to school to fulfill their dreams — which their father will never be able to see.

Her husband Manuel succumbed to the disease while working as a carpenter in the Research Institute for Tropical Medicine in Muntinlupa City last July. Manuel lost his life on the morning of July 9 after developing a dry cough and fever, which are both telltale symptoms of COVID-19. While Melody wished to be by his side during his last moments, she was unable to, due to the risk of contracting the virus.

“Doon lang po ako sa labas ng [emergency room]. Di ko na po siya nakita,” she recalled while holding back tears.

(I was only there outside of the [emergency room]. I did not see him anymore.)

After doctors declared Manuel dead, she could not bring herself to tell their children, who were still at home and still expecting to see their father the next day. Instead, she asked their relatives to call on her behalf and relay the tragic news to the four kids.

Following his death, hospital staff advised Melody to have Manuel cremated as he was already suspected to have COVID-19 at the time. But doctors were still unsure since his swab test results were still not ready. She eventually had his body cremated in Pasay City on July 10, which is also the 14th birthday of their eldest son. The next day, when Melody brought his ashes home in a vase, his COVID-19 test results finally returned: positive.

Joie Cruz, the 27-year-old daughter of nurse Maria Theresa Cruz, also learned that her mother contracted the disease only after she had died. Theresa passed away on July 22 in the Cainta Municipal Hospital, where she worked for the past nine years. Three days after, Joie learned that her mother’s swab test showed that she had COVID-19.

Theresa breathed her last as doctors intubated her for the second time while Joie waited eagerly outside the room. Joie recalled that like many patients who had to be intubated, her mother had become agitated and removed the first tube they attached to her. So when a doctor tried to intubate her once more, Joie said, “Mommy, ano? Ibabalik na yung tubo mo ha? Hindi ka na magpipiglas, makikicooperate ka na.”

(Mommy, your tube will be reinserted, OK? You won’t struggle anymore, you will cooperate.)

“Sabi niya ‘yes’ tapos parang sabi niya ‘Lalaban ako,'” Joie said. “Yun yung sabi niya, ‘Lalaban ako.'”

(She said yes then she said something like “I will fight.” That’s what she said, “I will fight.”)

Despite her efforts, Theresa ultimately succumbed to the disease. As she was also suspected of having been infected with COVID-19 at the time of her death, staff urged Joie and her family to have her mother’s body cremated as soon as possible. Theresa’s body was cremated in a morgue in Taytay, Rizal at around noon on July 23.

For Karen Ivy Pandi, it was already too late when she learned that her 44-year-old brother Arvin Pascual tested positive for the coronavirus on March 31, after having difficulty breathing. The next day, Pascual, a nurse at the Dr. Paulino J. Garcia Memorial Research and Medical Center in Cabanatuan City, passed away.

The loss was so sudden for her and her family that their father only knew Pascual had COVID-19 when she called to inform him of her brother’s death. Pascual’s family was also unable to be by his side when he died due to the protocols imposed by hospitals amid the pandemic. His deceased body was cremated within 12 hours after, in compliance with instructions from health authorities.

Nurse Arvin Pascual (C) and his colleagues. Image: courtesy of Karen Ivy Pandi

Sworn duty

Despite the threat of the virus, Pascual was not afraid when reporting to work at the hospital, where he served for the last eight years. His aunt Nilda stated that Pascual saw his job as his “sworn duty” to help others.

“Mahal niya work niya kasi ang dami niyang natutulungang tao (He loved his work because he gets to help so many people),” his sister added.

Theresa expressed her worries to her family and colleagues but still chose to go on duty to serve those in need. Among her concerns were the lack of personal protective equipment (PPE) her workplace provided, Joie said. Her mother had a larger figure and could not fit in the usual PPEs. Since the hospital did not give her adequate sets, Theresa was forced to buy her own PPE to keep herself safe while attending to patients.

Melody recalls as well that her husband was very scared to report for work amid the pandemic.

“Takot na takot siya daw pumasok kasi nga baka mahawaan siya sa isip niya,” she said. “Eh kung di naman siya papasok, wala naman kaming makain. Pa’no ‘yung mga bata?”

(He was so scared to go to work because he thought he might catch [the disease]. But if he would not go to work, we would have nothing to eat. How about the kids?)

However, before the pandemic, Manuel always favored his workplace and his colleagues.

“Gustong gusto niya doon kasi marami siyang kaibigan dun eh. Madaming kakilala. Marami siyang malapit na kaibigan,” Melody recalled. “Kasi mabait ang asawa ko. Maasahan, marunong makisama.”

(He really liked it there because he had many friends. [He] knew a lot of people. [He] had many close friends. Because my husband is good. [He is] dependable and knows how to get along with others.)

Manuel Buenconsejo with his wife Melody and their children. Image: courtesy of Melody Buenconsejo

Not enough

Months after the loss of their loved ones, the families are still learning how to move forward while living with the untimely deaths.

After her mother’s passing, Joie and her family received P1 million from the national government pursuant to the Bayanihan to Heal As One Act. Though they are grateful for the aid, she stresses that no amount of money will ever be able to make up for the loss of her mom.

“I have a 7-year-old sister here who is not going to see our mom, who is not going to be guided by our mom as she grows up,” she noted. “So it will never be enough.”

Meanwhile, Melody only received P33,000 from her husband’s agency and 5 kilograms of rice, six packs of noodles and six packs of sardines from the Muntinlupa City Hall. When asked about what help she still wishes to receive, Melody simply had one request: support for the schooling of her kids who are 14, 11, 8 and 2 years old.

“Yun lang, yung kinabukasan nila,” she said. “Ang hirap kasi.”

(Just that, their future. Because it is so difficult.)

Generous hearts

Though their children will now have to grow up without their father, Melody and the kids keep their favorite moments with him close to their hearts.

“‘Yung kahit na pagod siya sa trabaho, nagluluto po siya ng ulam pag-uwi niya. Yun po nami-miss namin sa kanya,” she said. “Lalo na ‘yung mga bata, nami-miss ‘yung luto niya.”

(Whenever he would cook after coming home from work even though he was already tired, that is what we miss about him. Especially the kids, they miss his cooking.)

She also recalls how he was a great father to their children, taking them out on simple trips every payday. Be it a trip to the mall or to a nearby fast food joint, Melody said those moments were special to all of them.

As for Pandi, she fondly looks back on how Pascual would round up his nieces and nephews on his days off just to treat them to hotdogs and ice cream.

Nurse Maria Theresa Cruz. Image: courtesy of Joie Cruz

Meanwhile, Joie misses her mother’s friendliness and how easily she connected to others, especially her patients.

“Sobrang namimiss ko ‘yun kasi ‘yung mom ko is very generous ‘yung heart niya,” Joie added.

(I really miss that because my mom’s heart is very generous.)

She also reminisced on last New Year’s Eve when they all checked in to a hotel to welcome 2020. Joie wished to make it a tradition from then on so they would always welcome a fresh year of new beginnings in a clean place. However, 2020 had other plans for their family.

After the untimely death of her mother, Joie has since set up a non-profit organization in her honor. Joie and the Maria Theresa Cruz Foundation team aim to help Filipino COVID-19 frontliners through pushing for fair wages, safe working conditions, dignity and respect for healthcare workers in the country.

Remember what you’re fighting for

As the year comes to a close and many hope for the end to the pandemic, Melody appeals to the public and the government to notice everyone who works at a hospital during these trying times.

“Tinataya rin nila ang buhay nila,” she said. “Hindi sila pinapansin.”

(They are also risking their lives. They are not being noticed.)

For Joie, she reminds those who are also coping with loss due to the coronavirus that mourning takes time.

“The grieving process is a complicated process and you have to give yourself time to heal,” Joie stressed. “It’s not easy. Sometimes you’re OK, sometimes you’re not, but it’s important to move forward while not forgetting as well what and who we are fighting for.”

“To make sure na kung ano man yung nangyari before, hindi na mauulit.”

(To make sure that whatever happened before will never happen again.) JB

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