Drug addict turned priest: It was love that saved me

He came from a family of achievers but what he had achieved was nothing to be proud of: becoming a drug pusher who was also drug dependent.

His name appeared in newspapers but not for a good reason.

Fr. Bobby dela Cruz started selling drugs and being addicted to it at a young age, and it all began out of curiosity and desire to feel “in.”

Dela Cruz said he started using and selling marijuana when he was studying at an all-boys school in Manila.

“I started using drugs when I was still in high school. I just wanted to be ‘bida.’ Just out of curiosity,” he told INQUIRER.net in an interview.

He said he never really cared about studying, adding that he survived school by cheating during examinations and relying on his classmates for his schoolwork.

“I was only using marijuana during that time. But I didn’t get addicted to it. I used marijuana just to be ‘in,’” he said.

Aside from smoking weed, he also had vices and was part of a fraternity.

“Of course, I got involved in many troubles,” he said.

He said he then started to sell marijuana to his friends and classmates “just for fun.”

“It wasn’t for the money. It was just so I can brag about it,” he said.

He said he got into a lot of trouble, which sent him to jail, but he would later be sent home because he was still a minor then.

When he got into college in 1984, he replaced marijuana with shabu.

“I became part of a clique that did drugs so I started selling downers during that time,” he said.

He grew less interested with his studies but he still managed to graduate.

“I found ways to graduate from college,” he said.

From fun to addiction

After his graduation from college, he said he became really hooked on shabu, which was proliferating in the market during those times.

“After I graduated, that’s when I started to become addicted to shabu,” he said.

He started to steal money from their house and admitted that he even sold some of their appliances to finance his addiction.

Dela Cruz, who came from a well-off family, said they had a business then, which supplied medical equipment to hospitals.

He said he went in and out of jail because of his addiction.

“I became really addicted. I would get caught but I would quickly be released,” he said.

He said there was a time he was detained at the Manila City jail for six months but his family only found out when he was already in prison for almost two months.

“I was jailed so many times. I was in and out of jail in Manila, and I was also in rehab,” he added.

He said his family only knew about his drug use when he was already hooked on it.

FR. BOBBY DELA CRUZ–Photo by Noy Morcoso

“Actually, they found out I was doing drugs when I was already seriously addicted to it. If I hadn’t been arrested, they wouldn’t have known I was using drugs, but of course they were already suspicious because I was already acting strange,” he said.

Then his family sent him to a rehabilitation facility.

Rehabilitation

Dela Cruz said he underwent rehabilitation services at the Makati Medical Center before he was referred to a rehabilitation center in Mandaluyong City.

“I completed my rehab there, one year, then I became chief; I was the one running the rehab,” he said.

After a year, he went out of the rehab center but his involvement with illegal drugs remained.

“When I left, I didn’t do drugs anymore but I was pushing drugs,” he said.

Eventually, Dela Cruz said he again became a user, adding that he was a user and pusher at the same time.

He began sleeping around with many women and had other vices. But he said his family thought he was already okay after he came out of the rehabilitation center.

“Well, they thought I was already okay because it seemed my progress was promising because I was the one running the rehab and the speech that I did was great during that time,” he said.

He admitted he became more disciplined after his rehabilitation but his issues in life still weren’t dealt with.

“My mindset was the same, I was disciplined. I was more disciplined but I still had issues in my life that weren’t addressed,” he said.

He was again arrested for illegal drugs until he was sent back to a rehabilitation center.

Something is missing

Even after his rehabilitation, Dela Cruz felt something was still missing in his life.

“At first, we had values formation inside the rehab center but I had no spiritual life,” he said.

He had studied in Catholic schools when he was younger but he admitted he never went to church and he knew nothing about his religion.

“With all that I have been through, it’s hard to believe in God. It’s like there’s no God,” he said.

He said he was resigned to the life he knew: continuing to use and sell drugs, and spending time in prison.

“I went back to what I used to do until I was arrested several times. It reached the point where I was sent back to rehab because I was caught. That was my last arrest,” he said.

He admitted he never dreamt of becoming a drug lord. He just thought that money was lucrative in dealing illegal drugs.

He was sent to jail but was out on bail after his last arrest.

Mother’s love 

Out on bail, he said he still felt his life was already useless.

“I was in a crisis because I couldn’t understand my life. It was just a cycle. The happy life that I was looking for was gone,” he said.

“There’s nothing more in store for me. I was already hopeless. I was already content with what I had and what I was doing because I was already being rejected,” he said.

But his mother never gave up on him.

“It was my mother who never gave up on me and I was very thankful for that. Because the love of my mother was unconditional,” he said.

That, he said, was the reason why he never gave up, even though he was already hopeless in life.

“That was the reason why I never gave up. My mom was always there for me,” he said.

But he said something was still missing.

Until he visited a church and received an invitation to an evangelization session.

“I didn’t expect anything. I only went there because I was bored at home,” he said.

Dela Cruz was processing his papers at that time because his family wanted to send him abroad instead of having him stay here in the Philippines.

After a few months of evangelization, he became part of a lay community known as the Neocatechumenal Way.

“I felt like there was a magnet. As I’ve always said, I was like an empty sponge taking in all the things that I was listening to. That time, I knew I was already open,” he said.

He said God’s love transformed him and allowed him to be a reformed man.

He said he was no longer happy with his life of being a drug addict.

“I have tried so many things in life, and then here are people promising me that I will be happy. People were telling me to believe in Jesus and he will forgive all my sins,” he said.

When he heard the Word of God, he said he was able to understand all his wrongdoings.

“That time, when I was able to listen to the word of God, I realized all my sins,” he said.

He said the people in his community became his “backbone.”

“I think I won’t be able to survive without the community,” he said.

Missionary turned priest

After joining a community, Dela Cruz said he wanted to return to serve God more.

“But how can I serve and help others and God if I do not know much?” he said.

During the World Youth Day in 1995 in Manila, Dela Cruz had just finished his evangelization.

“Courage, courage. Do not be afraid,” he recalled St. John Paul II saying during the World Youth Day.

He felt the Pope was saying those words to him.

He said there was an invitation in his community for people who wanted to pursue priesthood but he did not accept the invitation.

“I didn’t accept it because I never dreamt of becoming a priest and I knew it was impossible,” he said.

“But I was already thinking then of how to give back to God the blessings he had given me because I became free. I was really freed by God,” he added.

So he found himself being a missionary. “I couldn’t enter the seminary [yet] because I was just out on bail,” he said.

In 1997, he was invited to the World Youth Day in Paris but his pending cases in court prevented him from leaving the country. But three days before the event, he got a call from the court informing him that his cases were dismissed due to lack of evidence.

He said he had no plans to become a priest but the opportunity kept knocking on his door.

While he was in Paris, his community announced a call for priesthood. He finally gave in to the call.

“The invitation was really irresistible. I couldn’t resist. I was with the Pope in the same room,” he said.

He eventually passed the admission test for Philosophy at the Christ the King seminary. After finishing Philosophy, he went back to his alma mater, the University of Santo Tomas, to study Theology, where he graduated cum laude, a feat he never thought would be possible.

“At first, my family had doubts. They remained skeptical even when I already entered the seminary. It only sank in when I was ordained as a priest,” he said.

Fr. Dela Cruz was finally ordained as priest in 2008.  He said his first assignment as a priest was in prison ministry.

In 2016, Fr. Dela Cruz was asked to head the “Sanlakbay para sa Pagbabagong Buhay,” a community-based rehabilitation program that urges drug dependents to surrender.

“When President Duterte assumed office and the government started a campaign against drugs, we started Sanlakbay,” he said.

He said their initial plans was to build a facility-based rehabilitation center but they eventually agreed to have a community-based rehab after meeting with concerned government agencies.

“We decided to have a community-based rehab as a response to the many people affected by drugs,” he said.

Founded in collaboration with government agencies, parishes, communities and families, Fr. Dela Cruz said they called the rehabilitation program as “parish-based community rehabilitation.”

To date, 16 parishes are involved in the said program backed by volunteers.

“During that time, many were still afraid and it was difficult to start. The program, including the formation, lasted for at least six months,” he said.

Drug surrenderers who have finished the rehab program would undergo drug testing and were given a certificate and removed from the drug watch list of the government.

He said a social worker assists those who finish the rehab program to assist them, in partnership with the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD).

“They cannot do it alone, how can they do it?” he said, adding that some private corporations and NGOs were helping them with their jobs.

He said many drug addicts belong to poor families and they become caught up in illegal drugs because money was “very lucrative.”

“Many addicts and those involved in drugs were poor and [selling] illegal drugs became their job,” he said.

He said part of their rehabilitation was spiritual formation.

“Part of their rehabilitation is spiritual formation. That’s how I started. So, I needed to stop. The challenge is, how will I stop them? They won’t eat every day? Because if they stop selling drugs, they won’t have anything to eat. That was hard,” he said.

“How will you stop them if you won’t give them jobs?” he added.

That’s why faith in God is very important, he said.

“We need faith.  That’s all we need. It may seem impossible but we need to trust in God. I can’t offer them anything to them but to share them the blessings I received from God,” he said.

He said the drug surrenderers must believe in God that he would help them from their struggles.

“My belief is, if you believe in God, I think he will help you despite your situation,” he said.

“To solve the problem with the 1.3 million addicts, which are mostly poor, you really need God,” he said.

He said was important to change the mindset of the drug surrenderers.

“Even if you give money, businesses, and investment to the surrenders, if their mindset is not corrected, it will be difficult,” he said.

Fr. Dela Cruz admitted that their parish-based community rehabilitation program still has a lot to improve and there are times where he is uncertain about its future, but he said he would always be certain that he would give back the love he got from his family and from God, which eventually transformed his life, and could possibly transform the lives of many drug surrenders, too. /je