Who wants to argue?

I can’t remember where I read this statement but it  stuck in  my memory.

“If you can’t win the argument, correct the grammar.”

I  totally agreed but at the same time wanted to argue (start correcting my grammar then). This brought an impish smile on my face. “Yeah, yeah…was it talking about me?”

Growing up, I always believed I could win an argument. I had to. I’m not red-haired but I have  an impulsive and stubborn streak.  I knew I could express myself well, so I tended to argue not only for my rights but for others who couldn’t or wouldn’t  speak up.

After graduating with a degree in mass communications, our college guidance counselor advised me to go to law school. She said the pre-law studies would  only two years because some of my AB subjects were already in place. She said it was  a good combination: my expressive mouth and my persistent personality.

I ignored the advice, partly  because I wanted to work right away to help my broken family and partly because my dad was a lawyer whose cases eventually divided our family. So I felt the course would be a  jinx for me.

Many years after, I found myself in a career in human resources, and in between the workers and management. There were times I had to press for what the workers must have. At other times, I had to support the management’s decisions even if it angered the workers. At the end of the day, I was heartbroken. Damn  if you do, damn  if you don’t. You get  blamed by workers and you get dropped by the management which somehow could not support the stand I took which, in the first place, was directed by them.

Anyway, in the middle of that career, I was thinking of going back to school and take up law. But that didn’t materialize. Why the change of heart? I’ve learned how to win an argument without taking  a brazen stance. I can even sweep aside any debate  that puts me in a corner and make a joke of it.

Before I had to win an argument, wrong or right, but today I can bow down and accept but still manage to win by correcting their grammar. At least I still have the last stand (lol).

Some people, when they’re all passionate and heated up to prove a point, get lost in their language. I, myself, when in a fit of anger  during my youthful days, will shift quickly from Cebuano or Tagalog to English,

When the person I’m arguing with  hears my rapid fire English, he starts to counter with the same language. Most of the time, I end up correcting his or her grammar and we would end up laughing.

Case in point:

A friend was telling me that the world is not kind to senior citizens like her. I argued that it’s up to a person if he or she allows the world to be unkind to her. She said no, why would she be kind to unkind people. I retorted, “Well, you’ve become as unkind also as the unkind world.” She didn’t back off and instead said, “Those who are above 65 yeaers  old and the disabled are refused.”

I stopped and smiled.

“Maybe you mean ‘ignored’?” She quieted down and uttered a silent “hmmm…yes.”

– – –

While waiting for my flight to Manila, a Chinese friend was boasting  about his new business. I argued that he was just wasting money on it. Our debates went back and forth.

I quieted down when he started rattling off investment trends, business statistics and ROI’s (something about figures that would always make me cringe).

Then he ended, “I tell you my supermarket will be the most suspicious place to buy in the city.”

I broke into laughter and it was his turn to stop talking.

“How do you expect customers if your store is suspicious? You mean auspicious!”

He looked at me like I was crazy then  sat down and whispered, “What’s auspicious?” Hands down, I calmed him right there. “It means ‘prosperous’ and if you say prosperous supermarket, I will believe you.” That ended the argument.

Arguments and bickering can put out  the flame of love among people. Pride rears its ugly head and it is the main cause of death in relationships.

“Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness.” (2 Timothy 2:23-25)

So the statement “If you can’t win the argument, correct the grammar” may be right after all. Language errors always come out funny. And in times of anger, douse fire with laughter. You have little to lose (a bruised ego can fade) and much to gain (a healthy heart).

Am I right or am I right? (lol)