Filipinos demand right to divorce: ‘We want to break free’

In this photo taken on February 14, 2023 shows pro-divorce protesters taking part in a demonstration on Valentine’s Day in front of the Senate Building in Pasay, Metro Manila. AFP

MANILA, Philippines — Mother-of-three Stella Sibonga is desperate to end a marriage she never wanted. But divorce in the Catholic-majority country is illegal, and a court annulment takes years.

The Philippines is the only place outside the Vatican where divorce is outlawed.

Pro-divorce advocates argue the ban makes it harder for couples to cut ties and remarry, and escape violent spouses.

People wanting to end their marriage can ask a court for an annulment or a declaration that the nuptials were invalid from the start, but the government can appeal against those decisions.

The legal process is slow and expensive — cases can cost as much as $10,000 or more in a country plagued by poverty—with no guarantee of success, and some people seeking a faster result fall for online scams.

“I don’t understand why it has to be this difficult,” said Sibonga, who has spent 11 years trying to get out of a marriage that her parents forced her into after she became pregnant.’

Sibonga’s legal battle began in 2012 when she applied to a court to cancel her marriage on the basis of her husband’s alleged “psychological incapacity,” one of the grounds for terminating matrimony. After five years and $3,500 in legal fees, a judge finally agreed. The former domestic worker’s relief was, however, short-lived.

The Office of the Solicitor General, which as the government’s legal representative is tasked with protecting the institution of marriage, successfully appealed the decision in 2019.

Sibonga said she requested the Court of Appeals to reverse its ruling but is still waiting for an answer.

Fresh push

“Why are we, the ones who experienced suffering, abandonment, and abuse, being punished by the law?” said Sibonga, 45, who lives near Manila. “All we want is to be free.”

The most powerful opponent to divorce in the Philippines is the Catholic Church, which is also against abortion and contraceptives.

Around 78 percent of the country’s 110 million people are Catholic, according to official census data, and many politicians are wary of contradicting the Church on sensitive social issues.

But Congress has scored significant wins in recent years. A controversial birth control law was passed in 2012, despite strong opposition from the Church.

And in 2018, majority and opposition parties in the House of Representatives approved a divorce bill that later stalled in the Senate. It was the first time such a proposal had got that far.

Surveys conducted by polling company Social Weather Stations show a shift in Philippine attitudes toward divorce.

In 2005, 43 percent of Filipinos supported legalizing divorce “for irreconcilably separated couples,” while 45 percent disagreed.

The same survey in 2017 showed 53 percent in favor, while only 32 percent disagreed.

A group of lawmakers is now leading a fresh push to legalize divorce, with several bills filed in the House and the Senate.

‘Dysfunctional marriages’

“We are not destroying any marriage,” said Albay Rep. Edcel Lagman, author of one of the bills.

Lagman said divorce was for “dysfunctional marriages beyond repair” and legalizing it would enable women and their children to escape “intolerant and abusive husbands.”

The legislation would not allow for a “quickie divorce,” he added.

Before he was elected, President Marcos said the country should consider allowing divorce, but insisted it should not be easy.

Annulment scams

The burdensome process for getting a court order to end a marriage has spawned online scams offering to secure a quick ruling without time-consuming court appearances.

Agence France-Presse (AFP) fact-checkers found numerous Facebook posts spreading false information about the legal process for annulment in order to attract clients.

One victim told AFP she was charged the equivalent of $2,400 for an annulment service that turned out to be fake. She is now considering converting to Islam in the hope of securing a divorce under Muslim law.

“I’m really trying every possible option just to be single again,” she said on condition of anonymity. “Annulment takes so long, it’s so expensive and it’s not guaranteed, so I’m seeking a more convenient way.”

Family law specialist Katrina Legarda said the number of people falling for bogus services showed there was a “dire need” for new legislation.

But Fr. Jerome Secillano, of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines, said the nation should be “proud” to be the only country outside the Vatican “holding on to the traditional concept of marriage.”

“There will always be imperfections in a relationship,” he said. Secillano said divorcing an abusive partner would “perpetuate the violence” because the perpetrator would go on to abuse their next partner. “You are not actually curing the disease itself,” he said.

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