‘Wha!’ ‘You’re in contempt,’ ‘We submit,’ now part of Senate staff members’ lingo

Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago. INQUIRER FILE PHOTO

Among the rank-and-file Senate staffers nowadays, coming in late or submitting an inadequate report to one’s superior may elicit the remark, “You are in contempt.”  In lieu of a simple “sorry,” the in phrase is, “Apologies, your honor.” Instead of a simple “Yes,” the common quip is, “We submit.”

“I so ruled” also means an affirmation or “Yes” (but with more emphasis).

Impeachment lingo is catching fire among  Senate staffers.

The rank and file, consultants and confidential employees of the Senate have learned to survive the tedious ordeal of the weekly impeachment trial of Chief Justice Renato Corona by using words and phrases uttered in the proceedings to enliven and add humor to their routine.

When photocopying documents, Michael Caber, a member of Senate Majority Leader Vicente Sotto III’s staff, would now say: “Can you make a faithful reproduction of this (document name)?”

This expression is a parody of the courtroom expression for the marking of evidence (original, certified true copy or computer-generated).

For sloppy paperwork, Caber said a staffer, turning around what might be an embarrassing situation, could say: “The report may be less than perfect, your honor.”

‘Less than perfect’

This comes from Representative Giorgidi Aggabao, an impeachment prosecutor, who blurted out the “less than perfect” justification when he was trying to deflect criticism aired in the hearings that the impeachment complaint had not been written well by its authors from the House of Representatives.

Instead of simply saying sorry, Rex Castillo, a longtime media liaison officer, now says: “Apologies, your honor.”

For a cigarette break, or to excuse oneself from an unpleasant conversation, an employee says, “Can I have one long minute break?”

Both Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile, the presiding officer, and Sotto, as the majority leader marshaling the proceedings, have been using this motion to ask for a temporary suspension of the trial.

Of course, lead defense counsel Serafin Cuevas’ favorite preparatory statement, “with the kind indulgence of this honorable court,”  is now used in lieu of “please,” said Noriel Mercado, a director at the Senate Public Relations and Information Bureau.

According to Mercado, many other terms of endearment are borrowed from the proceedings and woven into the daily swing of things at the Senate offices and canteens.

Reporters join in

Even the media has been quick to catch on. A reporter from another broadsheet was recently reminded by her editors to turn in her stories as soon as possible.

Here’s the animated conversation via Yahoo Messenger:

Editor: “Your honor, please submit your story now (9 p.m.)!”

Reporter: “I submit your honor… in five to ten minutes.”

Editor: “I so rule.”

By the way, “Your honor” has become a favorite phrase when a Senate staffer addresses colleagues, regardless of rank or position.

But a lone word is sure to stand out in the glossary of this impeachment trial courtesy of the feisty Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago: “Wha!”

She exclaimed “Wha!” during Wednesday’s hearing, after she unleashed a litany of highly unpleasant remarks about the competence of the prosecution.

The “Wha” expression is short for “what,” Santiago has explained.

Other popular terms spewed out by Santiago in the course of the trial (delivered with her trademark Ilonggo accent) were “Shupreme Court” and “prima fey-shie (facie),” while Representative Elpidio Barzaga’s “subpwoena” (subpoena) are “hands down” winners, said Michal Ac-ac, a staff member of Senator Francis Pangilinan.

Miss Trial 2012

And in this country crazy about beauty queens, basketball and politics, Senate staffers have come up with a contest of sorts for “Miss Trial 2012,” said Ac-ac.

With the trial entering its final phase, the contest is now down to the last two popular bets: lawyers Karen Jimeno, a spokesperson for the defense, and Macel Jimenez, a staff member of Senator Loren Legarda.

“They are the top bets,” quipped Ac-ac.

When asked to identify Jimenez, Ac-ac said:

“She is the pretty lawyer in white seated on the left side of the gallery. She is seen (on TV) behind the podium every time a senator takes the floor.”