Grace To Be Born: Hope for pregnant women in crisis

(First of two parts)

Rhea would look like a typical mother holding her 2-month-old baby were it not for the fact that at 15, she’s still a child herself.

At Grace To Be Born in Pampanga province, a halfway home for pregnant women in crisis, Rhea recalled how she was raped one night by at least six men under a bridge.

For almost a year, she endured the painful memory of strange men pinning her down and forcing themselves on her fragile body. She screamed, resisted and cried in pain to no avail. She kept the ordeal to herself.

Micah, 14, still loves to play games at the shelter despite having a newborn named Harry. The boy’s father is his grandfather.

Rhea and Micah are among the 296 pregnant women that Grace To Be Born has served since its founding on May 8, 2009.

The young mothers who finished the program at the shelter had given birth to 246 babies there, according to social worker Joy Reyes.

Most of the mothers are teenagers, some as young as 12, who are forced to take care of their babies because of the circumstances that brought on their pregnancy.

A few of them had been repeatedly raped by relatives since they were 6, but had gotten pregnant only after they reached puberty.

According to the Department of Social Welfare and Development’s Policy Development and Planning Bureau, 506 girls were raped while another 447 were subjected to incest in 2016.

The number of child rape cases decreased to 478 in 2017, while incest cases dropped to 426.

Preventing abortion

In the Bible, “grace” means undeserved, unmerited favor. And it is God’s grace that gives the weak strength and the broken-hearted peace, the founders of Grace To Be Born said.

Thinking along this line, the shelter’s founders and officials thought that with God’s grace, women who had borne so much could still be given the choice to have their babies instead of aborting them.

Giving birth is God’s grace, no matter the circumstances around it, said Ester Vicencio-Palacio, the center’s executive director.

The idea for the center came up in July 2008 when its founders, Rey and Myrna Ortega, went on a pilgrimage to Our Lady of Guadalupe Shrine in Mexico City.

“Sir Rey learned that Our Lady of Guadalupe is the patroness of the unborn, and wondered why there was no such shelter for the unborn in the [Philippines],” Palacio said.

When the couple returned to the Philippines, they discussed with Catholic lay minister Bro. Bo Sanchez their dream of offering a shelter and regular services to prevent abortion. After an exchange of messages, they decided to create a new ministry for the unborn.

Touched by their vision in a prayer meeting in November 2008, Betty Roxas-Chua, founder of Rosary for Life Movement, offered to the project her Pasig building for free.

With the Pasig center undergoing renovation, the young mothers and their babies have been temporarily sent to the shelter in Pampanga.

Palacio said the goal of the center was to trim the number of abortions among these young women and help empower them to deal with their crisis situation. Hopefully, their stay at the center would also help them arrive at a realistic and attainable decision concerning the care of their babies and their future.

Aside from providing temporary shelter, material support and medical needs for the newborn babies while their mothers are recuperating, the center also facilitates the adoption of surrendered and abandoned infants.

On its website, Grace To Be Born cited a 2006 study, which indicated that 800 Filipino women die each year due to abortion complications. Compared to their adult counterparts, adolescents who resort to abortion are two to four times more likely to commit suicide and develop psychological problems, and three times more likely to be admitted to a mental hospital, the study said.

Women in crisis

For seven months, Rhea kept her rape story to herself.

“I was very afraid. My mother who was abroad at that time would surely get mad at me. So I lied and told her the baby was my boyfriend’s. I hid my rape from everyone,” said Rhea, who admitted to being known as stubborn at home and prone to wandering off.

When her pregnancy started showing, Rhea’s aunt confronted her. She told her the baby was 3 months old and was her new boyfriend’s.

The ultrasound, however, revealed that the baby was already 7 months old. “It couldn’t have been the boyfriend who fathered the baby,” she was told. Rhea broke down and told her doctor everything.

“Don’t be scared. That’s not your fault. Tell your relatives; they will help you,” the doctor told her.

“Ang sakit sakit po. Sa isip, sa puso (It was so painful—in my mind, in my heart). I was floating and absentminded,” she said, in tears.

Rhea’s mother, also a single mother, came home from abroad and advised her never to consider abortion. “[My elders] told me the baby had no fault and could even be an inspiration to me. It was better to take him than to have regrets later,” she recalled her mother telling her.

She was alone and felt so helpless, Rhea said of that traumatic night.

“But my story is less painful than those of other young girls here. I was hurt by a stranger. They were violated by their own family,” she said.

She could have been referring to Micah, who recalled: “Ang sakit sakit po. Tatay ko po iyon (It really hurt. He was my father.)”

Recounted Micah: “My mother was at the market working as a dishwasher and she would usually leave us with Papa at home. But that June, he asked me to take my clothes off. Then he touched me while he held a screwdriver.”

The incident happened several times until November, with Micah keeping it from her mother. “I was afraid [my father] might kill us all,” she said, adding that he got into illegal drugs after losing his job.

But her aunts and several neighbors noticed that her hips and body were bulking up and that her appetite had increased.

“Buntis ka ba? (Are you pregnant?)” she was asked.

“I didn’t like my baby, I hated him. But when I saw him finally coming out of my womb, all my hatred and problems just melted. Looking at him made me forget the pain,” Micah said.

It was a fresh start, the grace that these young girls sought and were finally granted.

(Part 2: The long road to motherhood)