Kitchen bonding eases pain of relatives of slain cops, soldiers

Relatives of slain soldiers and policemen prepare fish for smoking during a livelihood skills training in Baguio City. —KARLSTON LAPNITEN

BAGUIO CITY—At first glance, it was an ordinary cooking course meant to hone the livelihood skills of widows, mothers and relatives of policemen and soldiers killed in the line of duty.

But when 36-year-old Judy Garcia and 47 others completed their three-day course at Baguio City School of Arts and Trades (BCSAT), she found that the sessions became their unofficial support group, where they bonded, shared their stories and reflected on their future.

“As we move on little by little, we hope our bond will continue and we will always be in touch with each other,” said Garcia, mother to an 11-year-old girl.

Her husband, Senior Insp. Mark Gil, was shot dead by a suspected drug peddler during a buy-bust operation in Antipolo City in August last year.

The course overseen by the Technical Education and Skills Development Authority (Tesda) here began on May 3, but as the widows and family members sliced fruits and slabs of meat, they also exchanged mobile telephone numbers and linked their social media pages.

Janette Cajaban, 31, said she found the right people with whom to grieve. She had just buried her husband, Meljune, an Army corporal, in Bacolod City on April 29.

Meljune was among four soldiers killed in a clash with the bandit group Abu Sayyaf on April 11 in Inabanga town in Bohol province.

Like the other participants, Cajaban had to join the livelihood skills program as a requirement for receiving financial assistance from the Department of the Interior and Local Government.

The 48 women were taught how to prepare and cook smoked ham and fish, produce skinless longganisa (sausage) and make marmalade and fruit jam.

“Coming here was painful but at least it took me away from depression,” said Cajaban, a Grade 1 teacher in Kabankalan town in Negros Occidental province. Meeting the other widows, she said, helped her stay strong for her two children.

Many of the participants were in their late 20s and 30s. The youngest was Aidelee Mandapat, 24, whose husband, PO3 Romeo Mandapat, was killed in a police operation in Caloocan City. They have two children.

It was not only widows who found comfort in that cooking class. Lucia Tay-od, 58, shared a tearful conversation with fellow Cordilleran, Teresita Mantalaba, about their slain sons, both policemen and family breadwinners.

PO2 Vincent Paul Tay-od was killed while serving an arrest warrant to a robbery gang leader in Lubuagan town in Kalinga province in February. PO2 Tirso Mantalaba was killed during a drug raid in Jolo town in Sulu province in September.

Tay-od said she had not overcome her grief and was grateful to have found another mother with a similar experience. “If God allows, may we cross paths again,” she said.

BCSAT instructor Shirley Cael noticed the fellowship forged by the group.  She said only a few of the women interacted in the first few hours, some seemingly distracted. However, in the last two days, the kitchen burst into chatter, she said.

“It was not a typical organized class but I understand it must be their way of coping,” she said.

After Cherryl Sacatrapos, 37, lost her husband, PO3 Fernando Sacatrapos Jr., in September last year, she needed to find a job for her three daughters. Fernando was gunned down after conducting an antidrug meeting in Paoay town in Ilocos Norte province.

“He had plans for our ‘Tres Marias’ and I must carry on to fulfill them for him,” said Sacatrapos, who recently took a contractual job.

She made friends with a Laguna resident, Jean Luna, 48, who lost her son, Emerson Luna Jr., a Scout Ranger, in a clash with the Maute Group in Lanao del Sur province in December. Emerson was the breadwinner of the family and shouldered the college expenses of his younger sister, Luna said.

Both Sacatrapos and Luna intend to put up their own hog-raising business and develop their own brand of smoked ham once they receive the promised cash assistance.

A Kalinga mother is also relying on  cash aid to secure the education and to feed her 4-year-old and 4-month-old children. Ameliza Aguinaldo lost her husband, PO2 Jovenal Aguinaldo, in the same encounter that killed Tay-od’s son. Jovenal would have turned 32 on May 6. Policemen who took part in the Kalinga operation credited him for killing the robbery gang leader.

Aguinaldo planned to put up a business in Tabuk City, but said “it [was] really hard to start over.”

“I just hope my children will receive what is due them,” she said.