I had a reading a few weeks back that flashed back to my mind when I was preparing for a meeting with my mission team two days ago. I was going to tell them about the plans I’ve drawn for the community in Malabuyoc town, southwestern Cebu, where I was in charged as mission team head.
My team and I went to this place, 164 km from Cebu City, to shepherd some 30 residents in their faith walk with God. Doing God’s work was our way of giving back to Him in gratitude for the blessings and graces He has given us.
The main thing for us was that if we’re doing God’s work, then nothing should keep us from doing that—people, situation, circumstances, problems, difficulties. Nothing will be an obstacle to carry on with our service.
But reality check—there will always be someone who will try to ruin our plans and stop us from doing good things. Have you ever had plans railroaded because some people try to quiet you or get other people not to believe in you?
The Indiana School Journal by Indiana State Teachers Association call these people “hushers.” They are the ones who “became noted for their ability to make other people hush their mouths, and a man who could make another ‘hush up.’”
Once I saw on a Facebook wall this strong statement: “Hate it when people stop you from doing something, then they go and do it!”
Obviously, when people stop us from what we want done, it ruffles our feathers and gets our defenses up. Frustrating really.
But there will always be hushers who will stop us from doing good especially if we do something that others can’t, won’t and don’t.
I used to be a human resource practitioner and reason I got stressed and left the work was because I did what I thought was good for people, yet some groups didn’t understand me or, worse, undermined my efforts.
It’s common knowledge to HR people that their job is a thankless one. I came to realize that when I got engaged deeply in this career. It’s a “damn it if you do, damn it if you don’t” kind of work.
You do this, the hushers stop you. You don’t do that, the other group hushes you. Such frustration. But I’m not regretting this painful experience. I always think God has a purpose for every thing that happens in this life.
As for me, the frustrations of that period taught me to stand up for what I thought was good in God’s eyes, but not in men’s eyes. God is the only judge and as long as I come clean before Him, nothing else matters.
I’ve also learned not to hate myself when people criticize me and my work.
People just love to be angered by something. People love to manipulate emotions to feel contempt towards something so they have something to talk about.
Also, I’ve learned to think carefully before I speak. I didn’t do this before so I ended up distraught and counterproductive.
I know that the better thing to do is to just listen. Listen to what the other side has to say rather than get caught up in my own emotions.
Hushers can also tell you to stop doing something that’s different from them. Did anyone tell you, “You’re weird,” “Why do you have your hair like that?” “Why do you always talk like that?”
And aren’t you bothered? You think: “I am who I am. So why are they messing up with me?”
We have our own quirks. I’ve got this crazy way of crossing my legs while typing and eating. I want the ends of the toilet paper going down when I touch it, not facing up (you know what I mean?).
So why can’t people just accept what we do as long as we don’t harm other people or step on other people’s toes?
Such is life. I pray for more empathy and understanding in this world. These may not be the be all end all solution but trying to understand someone and why they do things the way they do is important to simply living. Just accept people for who they are and stop the hating.
So before we hush people from what they want to do or be negative about things especially if you don’t like what’s being done, let’s take time to understand why are they doing it—their background, their struggles, weaknesses, passions, beliefs, etc. Get to know people on a deeper level before hushing them. Ask how you can help.
Everyone has a story to tell, a passion that drives them and a mission to do. So let’s accept that. It’s simple so it shouldn’t be hard to do.
If we have to hush up someone, let it be a hush of encouragement. “Husssssh … stop worrying. It’s going to be okay. I’m here.”
“Husssssh … don’t lose hope. God is in control.”
Be an encouraging husher, not a spoiler.