The sick person isn’t the only one who needs to adjust to the “uncomfortable lifestyle” of his or her illness. The ones who will care for the patient will also need to make their own adjustments (i.e., time, schedule, resources, etc.). Very often, even for those who have care-giving as a profession, this task is demanding and requires a lot of personal sacrifice.
From the onset of someone’s illness, the caregiver must clearly understand that the sick person possesses special conditions. They may be depressed by their physical incapacity to carry out what they are accustomed to doing by themselves. Moreover, their frail condition also affects their psychological and emotional composure. Thus, we must understand that they tend to be very sensitive, irritable, exaggerated, complaining and even unreasonable in some of their personal needs.
Lawrence G. Lovasik says: “Remember that visiting and tending the sick is a work of mercy by which you relieve the sufferer from some small portion of his misery by sharing it with him. When the sick person, rendered irritable by suffering and robbed by it of his self-control, wishes to speak out, listen to him, if by so doing you can ease his mind.”
“Even if the sick person is inconsiderate, demanding now this, and now that, render him these services if they comfort him. When you enter a sickroom, diffuse as much cheerfulness, calm, and patience as you can. Remember that even a drink of water given to the sick is given to Him who on the Cross cried out, I thirst” (Jn 19:28).
“Christ Himself, the model of those who visit and care for the sick, did not readily forgo actual contact with the sick. Thus He touched a diseased eye, a diseased ear and tongue, and laid His hand upon lepers (Mt 9:29; Mk 7:33; Mt 6:3). Jesus knew well what a comfort it is to the sick not to he overlooked.” (“The Hidden Power of Kindness, a Practical Handbook for Souls Who Dare to Transform the World, One Deed at a Time,” Sophia lnstitute Press Manchester, New Hampshire)
Here are some suggestions:
1. Have a healthy end always in mind. To foresee to the patient’s material needs in view of facilitating these to the best extent possible for his speedy recovery or at least to alleviate his condition.
2. Schedule first things first. A concrete daily schedule for the person we care includes medical and other material needs; but we must also schedule their rest and avoid that they simply to a routine of “nothings.” This scheduling of their rest or recreation would include listening to music, watching—though not too much—T.V. or cable, taking the calls for them, running errands, getting in touch with friends and relatives via the Internet, etc. A schedule of activities is not meant to simply make the sick person “forget” his illness, since we are very much part of their lifestyle and it is only natural that we help them live it in the most elegant and dignified way.
3. Be creative in affective details. Laughter is said to be one of life’s best and cheapest medicines. This only goes to show that we cannot limit our care to their material needs. We can go an extra mile or two by uplifting their mood and the ambience of the room or place they’re confined in. This will go a long way to help them recover or at least be temporarily relieved of their physical ailments. For example, we can surprise the person with his or her favorite meal (of course, following the prescribed diet), adding floral decorations and posting get-well cards on the wall, etc.
4. A sole concern for the soul. Over and above these material considerations, we cannot neglect the person’s spiritual needs. Very often, attending to this need already uplifts the person’s condition tremendously. Moreover, this is one of the best ways to help the sick person see and embrace this “new lifestyle of sickness.” This even can a point of conversion for many who may have for the longest time neglected the practice of their religious beliefs. In such vulnerable physical conditions the spiritual element becomes easier to appreciate and live.
Some ways to foster this could be: seeking the help of a spiritual guide or master (e.g., a priest or pastor) who can give the necessary spiritual help and advice (i.e., the Sacrament of Penance, viaticum and anointing of the sick, etc.)