Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago. INQUIRER FILE PHOTO
With her signature humor, Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago poked fun on her colleagues in the Senate and cracked jokes about the upcoming 2016 polls where she will be participating as a presidential hopeful.
During her speech on Thursday in the conference of the Philippine Judges Association at the Marriott Hotel Grand Ballroom where she was inducted to its Hall of Fame, Santiago reminisced the times that she was a Regional Trial Court judge and a law student in the University of the Philippines (UP) College of Law.
“We were always reprimanded in UP to quote Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. but he is not of the highest virtue. The highest virtue in government is president of the Philippines. That’s why I’m not running for the position of Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr,” Santiago joked.
She also joked that if she becomes president, she will appoint the chairman of the group’s Hall of Fame committee to the Court of Appeals.
Comedians, presidential wannabes
Meanwhile, her fellow senators became the unwilling punchline to her jokes as Santiago called them comedians and presidential wannabes.
“Malayo pa lang ako, narinig ko na ang mga tawa ninyo. Naalala ko noong judge ako. Pero mas masaya sa Senado. Sa Senado kasi nananaginip silang lahat. Nananaginip silang maging presidente ng Pilipinas,” she said.
(Even if I was still far away, I already heard your laughter. I remember when I was still a judge. But then, it’s more fun in the Senate. In the Senate, they always dream, they dream of being the president of the Philippines.)
“Ang problema ko sa Senado, puro sila komiko. Hindi naman kasi katatawanan itong ating RTC,” Santiago added.
(My problem with the Senate is that they are all comedians. But then, the RTC is not a joke.)
Santiago has twice launched a bid to become the country’s chief executive: in 1992 where she narrowly lost to former President Fidel V. Ramos and in 1998 where she finished seventh.
Witticisms
She got the loudest laughs from the audience when she delivered her classic punchlines which has since become a staple in her speeches.
“Noong RTC judge ako, I was judge of a case of simple theft. The lawyer asked the accused, ‘Di ba magnanakaw ka?’ Sabi ng akusado, huwag mo naman akong insultuhin ng ganyan, hindi naman ako magnanakaw, pickpocket lang ako,’” the senator said.
(When I was RTC judge, I was judge of a case of simple theft. The lawyer asked the accused, “Aren’t you a thief?” The accused answered, “Don’t insult me like that, I’m not a thief; I’m just a pickpocket.”)
And she went on:
“Sabi ng lawyer sa witness: mukha po kayong matalinong tao.
Sagot ng witness, ‘I would return the compliment but I swore to tell the truth.’”
(The lawyer said to the witness: You look like an intelligent person. The witness answered, “I would return the compliment but I swore to tell the truth.)
“Tanong: anong pinagkaiba ng magaling na lawyer sa palpak na lawyer?”
“Sagot: Kung palpak ang lawyer, tatagal ang kaso. Kung mas magaling ang lawyer, mas matagal pa.”
(Question: what’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? Answer: if the lawyer is bad, the case gets prolonged. If the lawyer is excellent, the case gets even longer.)
After the speech, Santiago confirmed that Senator Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. is her running mate. JE