Good discipline leaves no lasting scars

With goodwill and cheer, we remember our teachers who taught us love, not hatred.

We recall how they wowed us with their intelligence, how they inspired us with their strong character, and how they touched us with their caring gestures and kind words.

We will never forget how we have become better persons because of their style of discipline.

We also recall, but with a heavy heart, the teachers who embarrassed and scolded us, spat out mean words, called us nasty names as if they were jokes.

We will forever be haunted by those who spanked us, pinched us, yanked our ears or threw erasers at us. So too those who laughed at our mistakes, made us write 50 or more times “I’m sorry for what I did” on a piece of paper, or ordered us out of the classroom for not listening to their boring lessons.

Etched in our memory are the teachers who made us feel so small, so stupid, so unworthy of chance and change, as well as those who wounded and scarred our spirits, maimed our self-esteem, bred hatred and even vengeance in our hearts.

How could we ever forget the teachers who punished us severely?

Discipline is teaching and learning. It is not synonymous with punishment. The latter brings shame, suffering and even pain.

Discipline never makes a student suffer or live in pain or lose his or her self-respect. It should not make a student angry and harbor vindictive thoughts against teachers and school authorities.

Necessary in life

At home, parents discipline their children. If they fail in this task, the school should assist in instilling this virtue, which is necessary in life.

Schools impose rules and regulations and ensure that students obey these rules. Obedience enables students to practice self-control and discipline, which help them become upright and law-abiding citizens.

Teachers get angry when students violate rules. Anger can cloud a teacher’s sense of judgment and instinct for compassion.

An indignant teacher’s impulse, when faced with a violation, is to mete out punishment in whatever form—from words thrown like daggers and poisoned spears to deadly stares, even to unthinkable, unreasonable physical acts that dumbfound, horrify and anger the students, not to mention the parents.

But how should discipline be carried out in schools? What can you as a teacher do when confronted with a misbehaving student?

When angry, you should hold not only your peace but also your tongue. Leave the room, get some fresh air, take deep breaths, look at the trees.

After regaining composure, address the undesirable behavior as quickly as possible. Go back to the room and give a seat work for the class to do while you take the misbehaving student out of the room for a talk.

Start by asking the student, “How do you feel right now?” Allow the student to speak first. Listen without interrupting or rebutting. By doing this, you will allow the student to continue to talk out the problem.

Note any tone and gesture of apology from the student. This act of humility is a very good starting point for you to help the student change his/her behavior. Accept it.

Suggest ways for the student to practice self-discipline so the misbehavior does not happen again.

End the conversation with a smile and send the student back to the room to do the seat work.

Listen

Why is it important for the teacher to listen to the student? Lack of knowledge and understanding of what caused the student’s questionable actions can cripple a teacher’s ability to devise a more reasonable corrective measure to misbehavior.

There really are students who try a teacher’s patience. But no matter how stubborn, hardened or insensitive, a student deserves to be listened to and to be told by a teacher why the particular behavior is unacceptable and unbecoming of a student.

Teenagers normally are impulsive and unmindful of the consequences of their actions and speech, of their playfulness and rude manners. Teachers must deal with them with patience, understanding and an open mind. They must listen to the problem that causes misbehavior so they can help the students cope without losing self-control and, in the case where a misdeed has resulted, regain prosocial skills.

Discipline may be carried out without sanctions or punishment. Even the most unruly student will never forget a teacher’s patience, understanding and kindness.

The writer teaches English and is the journalism coordinator at Barangka National High School.