MANILA, Philippines–“Me, in Binay’s pocket? I will have my head chopped off before a live audience by anyone who can prove that! Life is too short to waste on sucking up to a dynasty that I’m bent on crushing. No to Binay in 2016! Quote me, please!”
As harsh as that may sound, it was more menacing in the original version, delivered in crackling Taglish and gayspeak—which was how this whole conversation with street parliamentarian/actress-comedienne Mae Paner went, plus a dash of OMGs. One hour, 13 minutes.
It was the first time she was giving an interview while doing her face, she told the Inquirer team. “Multiplatform!” she shrieked, holding up a makeup sponge. “Bongga!”
The “performance activist” (her favorite tag) wore a yellow wig. So we asked, were the “blue” guys forgiven?
“The ‘yellow’ people are the bad guys now,” Paner said. “I’m sure they’re behind my bashers in social media, who have little to say except that I’m a pig, ugly, obese … Well, guess what? This pig is preparing to do a ballet with Lisa Macuja.”
They’re calling it “Swine Lake,” she said.
March organizer
Maybe it’s true. Paner gives her listeners little time to process her words, which come fast and furious. But she is funny, and doesn’t mind looking funny to boot—this is her currency out there.
She is the face (and the snout, tongue and girth, and whatever body part can deliver the current message) of the Juana Change Movement, organizer of the Million People March, the third wave of which rolls out Monday.
“We are calling this one ‘Stand Up, Sign Up Against All Pork.’ It’s a people’s initiative now,” Paner said. “We can expect nothing more from those in power. We are out to collect 6 million signatures to totally abolish the pork barrel system.”
And she’s coming to the party as Darna, Inang Bayan, Miss Piggy or Miss Barrel? “Secret!” she roared.
No regrets
She used to be on the other side. “I campaigned for P-Noy, as you know; I braved crowds and all manner of transportation—land, sea, air. I performed on many stages, always right before he gave his speech. Do I regret it? No. At the time, he was the one. I believed him 101 percent,” Paner said, this time waving a mascara.
In Congress during the last State of the Nation Address (Sona), she ran into Aquino sister Pinky Abellada. “She said to me, ‘What happened to you? You’re not the Mae I knew before.’ I told her, ‘Pinky, P-Noy is not the Noynoy I knew before.’ Simple as that.”
That Sona day was eventful for her, Paner related. To start with, she had an assigned seat and was put under close PSG (Presidential Security Group) watch. “I’m not even a congresswoman, ha? Maybe it was because earlier, on Facebook, I said, ‘Heckle kita (I will heckle you).’ I was only kidding.”
Fan disappears
The group she was part of had planned an early departure, she said, but forgot to tell her. “Which was good, because I didn’t want to do that after I spent P1,250 on my gown.” They were supposed to meet out front after the program, but she was shown out through another exit.
Small surprise, actually, after what happened inside. One of her watchers had snatched her fan—on which were painted the words “DAPat Tuwid”—when she whisked it open “at the precise moment that P-Noy labeled his critics the real enemy of the people.”
That rankled.
“I just cried,” Paner said. “Sometimes I think he’s just a farmer at heart; mapagtanim e (never forgets a slight). He’s so pikon pa (patchy). I never saw my fan again. Desaparecido (Forced disappearance)! I was glad I had taken a photo of it, which I posted on Facebook and labeled ‘Last seen in Congress.’”
Criticism and love
Simmering now, she nearly left an eyebrow unfinished.
“Why can’t P-Noy understand that criticism can also come from a place of love? If you catch your child taking drugs, you don’t say, ‘It’s OK, I love you anyway.’ No! You say, ‘Moron, you are frying your brains!’ That’s love, too. So when he bought a Porsche, we said, ‘That car will run 300 miles an hour and your security can never cope even at 100. They’re going to look stupid, thanks to you. And, by the way, doesn’t Republic Act chuchuchuchu tell you to live simply?’”
This episode always comes up because it was “sort of” the tipping point for Juana Change “in a series of unfortunate events.”
COMEDIENNE TURNS ACTIVIST The color yellow no longer dazzles her. Formerly supportive of President Aquino, actress Mae Paner, aka Juana Change, is an organizer of the Million People March on Monday to abolish the pork barrel system. ARNOLD ALMACEN
A video that the group made of that issue went viral on YouTube, as did its earlier productions on various other concerns (they’re all still available on the video-sharing website).
“We have not made any more lately because we are low on funds,” Paner admitted, “and we are wary of soliciting help.”
Everyone a volunteer
“We” are the organizers. Paner explained, “I am Juana Change, the character, but it is really a movement with a core group—I am with the ‘creatives,’ along with [Palanca Hall of Famer] Rody Vera and [awarded movie producer/scriptwriter] Moira Lee.”
She turned her back on a lucrative advertising career, she insisted. “I had a big racket going. I did Mar Roxas’ [‘Mr. Palengke’] campaign in 2004 and Manny Villar’s in 2007. But I’m just as happy now to be working with people whose passion for the country knows no bounds.
“Everyone in Juana Change is a volunteer. I spend my own money on costumes. Last June 12 alone, with that house I was pulling around, P12,000! But that’s OK, I’m single.”
When President Aquino recently declared he was “open” to the likelihood of another six-year term, Paner’s reaction was, “Tama na naman (Enough). No matter how good you think you are at anything, there’s bound to be someone better after a while, and you should give him a chance.”
To punctuate this sentiment, she posted on her Facebook page a meme of President Aquino with a full head of hair, plus bangs, with the caption, “Ito ang extension mo (This is your extension), P-Noy! #HeBangs.”
Not only the elite
Asked to express in the briefest terms what she’d like to see happen, Paner paused from shading the sides of her nose and said: “Progress felt by the majority, the ordinary citizens, that’s all. If progress is enjoyed by only the elite … I didn’t campaign for P-Noy to see just that after four years. What I said to him was, ‘Once you’re president, you must work for real change, or I’ll flatten your… he knows how this ends. He used to joke about it. (Mimics P-Noy) ‘Mag-iingat po tayo at si Juana Change, baka pitpitin … (Let’s be careful or Juana Change might thump …)’ Now I’m the villain?”
The President used to reply to her text messages, too. Not anymore, and she can’t prove he ever did.
“I’m not in the habit of saving text messages but I should have saved his, given that he’s the President,” Paner said. “I forwarded some to my best friends—just to show off—even if they were angry messages, like, ‘My attention has been called to this FB post (or newspaper interview), chuchuchuchu…’”
The first time she and the President were face-to-face after her turnaround was an unexpected meeting at Edsa Shangri-la.
She recounted: “This was the time of ‘Juana C The Movie’ last year. He said, ‘Uy, I saw your billboards on Edsa. They’re huge!’ I could only say, ‘O, ’di ba, seksi ang lola mo (Isn’t your granny sexy)?’ Then I said, ‘I should go, Mr. President.’ He seemed OK.”
Listen to critics
She couldn’t say there was love lost.
“Before we made the Porsche video, Rody asked, ‘Are you ready to lose your relationship capital?’ I said that the reason we were still doing this was, none of it was personal. And even if it were, tough love is needed right now. For P-Noy to say that critics simply have nothing better to do, that they are impediments to progress … hello?”
As she hits, so she is struck. Paner has tapped into bashers galore. For the most part, she’s pragmatic about it.
“I read a few, but after a while they sound the same. I pick up what I can; I tell the President to listen to critics, so I listen to mine. I find time for those who add to the discourse; otherwise, it’s a waste of time, especially if I sense that they’re paid hacks. Occasionally I lose my cool, and engage one or two. When I fall into that trap, trusted friends in Juana Change pull me back to the game plan,” she said.
She’s not trying to be a hero, Paner said, she just likes what she’s doing for the country.
“Farmers invite Juana Change to their activities if they feel like no one plans to show up. Students love Juana Change because she’s edgy, fearless, irreverent and, best of all, she tells the truth.”
Can’t live forever
She’s been at it since Ferdinand Marcos’ time.
“I was arrested in 1984 with Lino Brocka and Behn Cervantes and charged with ‘tumultuous affray’—bongga!”
But truth be told, she sometimes fears for her life. “Only sometimes,” she stressed “I fear more for my weight. I lose, I gain, I lose … my body seems connected to the country’s troubles.”
Paner smacked red-painted lips at last, checked her face in a compact mirror and said, earnestly, “What I am today is a gift of my advocacy. Juana Change doesn’t want to live forever. Our goal is to get to the point when we are no longer needed.”
Twitter questions
It was time for some questions from the Inquirer Twitter:
Are you eyeing a career in politics?
“It was political science professor Antonio Contreras, a brilliant man, who called me a ‘performance activist.’ Ganda no (That’s a beauty, right)? I’ll stay there. That’s a no,” she said.
You are a backstabbing double-dealer?
“Blind loyalty is not good. My candidate won but did not deliver. Even in love, you should keep your eyes and ears open. As I always say, ‘Ang gusto nating baguhin, kailangang banggain (What we want to change, we need to confront),’” she said.
Sublime or ridiculous?
Are you related to your look-alike, [Senate President] Franklin Drilon?
“Wish niya lang (He wishes)!” she replied.
Are you friends now with [Manila Archbishop] Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle?
“Wish ko lang (I wish)! I had the best MPM selfie with him, which landed on the front page of the Inquirer, ‘The sublime and the ridiculous.’ I could kiss whoever wrote that caption. Ako ba ’yung sublime (Was I the sublime)?” she said.
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