Matchmaker

It is 1905. In Anatevka, a small Jewish settlement in Russia, I am the official matchmaker. My name is Yente and following the traditions of the Jewish way of life, I arrange marriages in the village.

I played that matchmaker role 16 years ago in the famous musical “Fiddler on the Roof” remains. It was a memorable theatrical experience for me especially that we  even reached Subic in Zambales to perform. In my opening line, I was lamenting on how lonely a widow’s life is—having no one to talk to and missing dearly my spouse. I wore a black dress in that opening scene.

Less than a year after, I didn’t know I would say the same lines—not on stage again but in real life. My husband died of cancer and the dramatic lines I spoke in the play became the harsh reality.

Yet I never regretted having married my dear husband, Conrado Sarmiento Jr. It was a perfectly imperfect match. I was the outgoing, aggressive and free-spirited artist and he was the quiet, gentle and organized engineer. In the first four years of marriage, the contrasting personalities sometimes clash, but because one day, we put God in the center of our lives, the rest of the six years were joyful—this, despite his bout with cancer and the family struggling to survive. Indeed, God has His perfect way of matching us both.

The common thought of outsiders looking at us as a couple would always be that I dominated the house and my husband was just too good for me. And my usual answer is this: Come and live with us and you will know who the boss is.

I had a high-ranking job, yes, but I made sure I leave my leadership role in the office and assume the follower stance at home. My husband may be gentle-looking, but I bow down to his firm and decisive disposition when it comes to leading our family. Thus, we complement. God knew, by putting us together, that we would find blessing as individuals in giving to each other as a couple and later as parents.

God is a matchmaker! Way back in Genesis, God told Adam, “It is not good for the man to be alone. Set out to make a helper (one who comes along side) suitable for him.”

But Adam found no match after checking out all animals, so God made a suitable companion out of his rib. The Divine Matchmaker made the first match possible. God is a matchmaker.

Back to “Fiddler on the Roof.” The people of Anatevka sang, “Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match find me a find. Catch me a catch.” They called God a matchmaker over and beyond Yente.

God is busy matching people here and there. He builds love from an emotional unity to the momentous sacramental contract of marriage and then physical unity.

So for those who have found their spouses, heed the words of Jesus for you: “God put you together!” No matter what challenges you go through in marriage, “God put you together!” Don’t destroy the love He built for you. Sadly, though, we are seeing many couples today not honoring God’s words anymore.

For those who are still single, don’t despair! God has not forgotten you. He continues to work as a true cupid to help you find your love. But He wants you to do two things:

One:  “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33) Do the work of the kingdom while praying and waiting for God to give you a mate.  It is often in seeking God that we find others seeking God.   And when you find each other in the same spiritual foundation, isn’t it the best place to start?

Steve Prokopchak, a counselor for 20 years, encourages singles to wait “the right way.” That is, “Don’t get desperate. Get deliberate before the Lord.” When two people come together who each have been pursuing God wholeheartedly, Prokopchak says the result is a “Christ-centered relationship that is going to be ‘other-centered,’ not self-centered.”

Two: Be happy about what you are now. If you can’t list down 10 reasons why being single is incredible, then you may find it difficult to be married. Because if you can’t be happy being single, you’ll never be happy being married. And God’s will for us is to be happy. So if single blessedness will be better for you, the Divine Matchmaker will match you with Himself only.

But whether single or married is not the only identity for anyone. One is not better than the other. God has a plan for each of us.

Romance is one of God’s unique specialties. He is Love, remember? He brought the world’s first couple together, and He still delights in arranging marriages as well as making singles look forward to be being His bride in heaven.

What then can go wrong with the Divine Matchmaker pouring out His Love as our Best Partner anytime and anywhere?