Only F. U.N. Matters

I was asked to give a talk on how parents can nourish their children’s faith better. But how to make it more interesting and memorable?

The answer came after watching a very touching commercial video of a mother writing down her “final” bucket-list before she died. I felt I could ask the participants to do something similar.

But what variation can I introduce to make them experience the tension, value and lessons of the realities of life, death and transmitting their faith?

Here is the simple workshop I asked them to participate in:

Materials:

– Two pieces of paper, 2 inches by 2 inches in dimension.

– Crayon (preferably the thick round type, any color would do)

– A stopwatch or timer

Instructions:

• For mothers: In the first piece of paper (for 30 seconds): as many as you can, list down the most valuable things you would like to leave behind for your children.

• For fathers: In the second piece of paper (for 30 seconds): draw anything that would symbolize what you want your children to remember you for.

* * *

“Time’s up, kindly stop writing or drawing.” I told the couples.

“Now,” I asked the mothers, “is anyone willing to share what she has written down?”

I was quite surprised that none of them, after painstakingly trying to write with a bulky piece of crayon on a very small piece of paper, wanted to share any one idea.

[Silence…]

“In that case, what about the dads?” I tried to break the building tension.

[Again silence…]

“What was going on here?” I told myself.

Perhaps, they were too shy to share what they had intimately written or drawn. It seems that workshop had failed, because it didn’t elicit any sharing among the parents. But it seems I had succeeded in a few other things I didn’t expect:

i) It made them aware that this workshop was something that would eventually happen and it helped them become more realistic with life and family relationships.

ii) More than words, action –symbolized by what the fathers drew– has a more lasting impact on their children. (e.g. a heart with a smiling face, a friendly sun, two stick figures holding hands, etc.)

iii) The eagerness in every parent to leave something for their children, but knowing that it must be something that isn’t confined to the size of a piece of paper, or the clumsy irregular lines of a crayon nor something that isn’t restricted by time.

I then imparted to them the lessons behind the very brief exercise:

a) The thirty seconds represent how short life is;

b) The small piece of paper represents how little a life can really offer materially;

c) The fat round crayon represents everything in life that we wish to use to ‘communicate’ to them our love with.

Once they pondered on these points, I explained to them that it’s only natural for parents to want their children’s material well-being. This comes in the form of their health, education, and a prosperous future. All these are very noble indeed.

But given the ‘small piece of paper,’ the ‘crayon,’ and the ‘time limit,’ we are never too sure that all our ideals for them will be truly realized. Thus, it’s important to give them something that is not bound to matter, time, and space. And this is our faith.

This is the gift and the door that we must open for them. Benedict XVI says that this door “…is always open for us, ushering us into the life of communion with God and offering entry into his Church. It is possible to cross that threshold when the word of God is proclaimed and the heart allows itself to be shaped by transforming grace. To enter through that door is to set out on a journey that lasts a lifetime. (Porta fidei, no. 1)”

Moreover, Benedict XVI adds, “Through faith, this new life shapes the whole of human existence according to the radical new reality of the resurrection. To the extent that he freely cooperates, man’s thoughts and affections, mentality and conduct are slowly purified and transformed, on a journey that is never completely finished in this life. (Ibid., no. 6)”

Perhaps, it may help to try out the simple workshop above and awaken ourselves to the things that are truly necessary in this life for the next, not only for ourselves but also for our children. It is then that we see the need to daily Faith Up Now!, which is the only things that truly matters.