Age doesn’t matter but wait till she’s 18
AGUILAR
In love and marriage, age doesn’t really matter.
Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz, the head of the National Appellate Matrimonial Tribunal (NAMT) of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, weighed in Friday on the May-December affair that had sent netizens abuzz over the enamored singer of “Anak.”
“There are people who are old but behave like children and there are children who are young yet they behave like adults. I don’t remember any case that the marriage did not work simply because one of them was young,” Cruz told reporters who sought his views on the revelation by 60-year-old music legend Freddie Aguilar that he’s taking a girl 44 years his junior to the altar.
“No, I am not supporting (that relationship) neither am I objecting. I am just accepting reality. These are just my thoughts based on my experience in the NAMT,” the outspoken prelate said.
Cruz heads the highest Church body that handles cases of annulment for Catholic marriages in the country. These cases are elevated to the NAMT—which functions like the Court of Appeals or the Supreme Court— from lower tribunals of the Catholic Church. Cruz has been the judicial vicar of the tribunal since 1989.
CRUZ
News of the veteran musician dating a 16-year-old girl broke out when they were seen together at the 5th Star Awards for Music program last weekend at Solaire Resort & Casino in Pasay City.
It drew mostly negative reactions in the social media, with some netizens calling Aguilar, who had been separated from his spouse for more than a decade, a “cradle snatcher.”
Cruz said it was easy to criticize someone like Aguilar who fell in love with someone much younger.
“But the moment you are already involved in such a relationship, it’s not easy to be very objective about it,” he said. “Love is never objective … for those involved [in this kind of relationship], it is not that easy because there are a lot of emotional ingredients that are personal and not really objective.”
But if Aguilar has plans to marry his young girlfriend, Cruz said, he must wait until she has turned 18 as required by both civil and Church laws, otherwise the marriage would be considered void.
There is no reason why such a marriage would not work if “they open their persons to one another and become patient toward each other,” he said.
They can avail themselves of the many Church programs and activities aimed at guiding new couples, such as seminars given by the Family Life Apostolate and pre-Cana seminars, the bishop added.
“It’s not always a guarantee that when two adults marry, it will automatically work,” Cruz said, citing one case he handled in the NAMT in which a couple, both aged 34, decided to separate immediately after the honeymoon.
“It’s not something that happens daily but what I am saying is it is not necessarily true that if you’re both old, everything is okay,” he said.
He advised Aguilar and his young girlfriend to be more prayerful in view of their “extraordinary” relationship. “They cannot afford not to pray about this matter because this is not something ordinary, knowing that age difference also (shows) a difference in levels of maturity. Consequently, a lot of special help is needed here.”
