Past, today, future
I heard a beautiful prayer by St. Augustine on Tuesday night during our prayer meeting in Elim Communities: “Entrust your past to the mercy of God; entrust your future to the providence of God. Live today in the love of God.”
With due respect to the great saint, I paraphrase the prayer in a way I would remember it quickly: Trust in God’s mercy for your past. Trust in God’s love for your today. Trust in God’s providence for your future.
Isn’t God awesome to be in every stage of our life? It’s like He shadows us everywhere, every time and in every way.
My past: I was full of anger and bitterness because of how our family broke up, how relatives ostracized us, how my father got estranged and how my mom worked hard to pick up the broken pieces to raise seven children. I grew up with the desire to vindicate our family to all who failed to help us in our moments of crisis. The way I thought this could happen was to ignore all family ties and only return to them if I had success to show. My stubborn heart caused me to be aggressive, insensitive and demanding with my expectations of people around me.
When I accepted Jesus as my personal savior at 30 years while struggling to deal with a very sick husband and three children, I can only thank God for His mercy to change my mind, heart and soul.
Who am I, a bitter daughter, to get His mercy? But as I put my trust in Him after I found Him to rule my life again, I had the strength to turn around and forgive my father, my relatives and throw away all the anger in my heart. Praise God!
My today: My children have all grown up and are charting their own lives now. I am still working, not anymore for them but to give back what God is still blessing me today to other people. My main intent: Bring them back to God and let them see how God is truly alive…how God is love.
Were it not for God’s unconditional love, a widow like me would have been lost in despair trying to raise three children on her own. I feel God’s love so much as He continues to take care of my health, to comfort me when I am alone and to bless me with the things I need and even more. I couldn’t even give back to Him this kind of love I get from Him, yet He fills my heart with His manifest presence any time.
My future: I don’t know. Who knows what tomorrow brings? So much talk now about the end of the world and Jesus’ second coming. No one knows. By I trust in God’s providence to help me through my journey to the future.
If I would not have any work any more and my body fails me, will I worry? It can cross my mind, honestly. But easily, hope will extinguish the anxiety and fear that can creep inside me.
When I think how God has taken care of me from my past to who I am today, amidst crisis and challenges, who am I to doubt that He will still provide for me in ways that will make me survive?
I know with all my heart that I can boldly pray to Him to fulfill His promise to widows like me and to count on his help.
Psalm 146: 9 – “The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.”
1Timothy 5:3,5 – “Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need… The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.”
James 1:27- “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
Our past, present and future are all in God’s hands. Those who know and trust in God’s love knows how to pray with confidence. Jesus taught us to boldly pray: “Give us this day our daily bread.” So believe that our heavenly Father graciously gives beyond our expectations. In His goodness, He always answers prayers.
Past, present and future are all taken cared of by God’s mercy, love and providence. And as His children, we can always pray for these three things to cover our lives.
As we entrust our lives to him, never cease praying. It’s power is never exhausted. John Chrysostom, a 5th century church father, describes prayer beautifully: “Prayer is … a treasure undiminished, a mine never exhausted, a sky unobstructed by clouds, a haven unruffled by storm. It is the root, the fountain, and the mother of a thousand blessings. It exceeds a monarch’s power…”
