Beating negativity

We know this expression: “When it rains, it pours.” You get so wet that you feel abandoned, alone and frustrated. So when everything seems to go against you, what do you do? How will you get out of the downpour?

The website Timemanagementninja.com gives this sound advice: “When things are going south, you need to turn your attitude around and head the other direction.”

I admit I had a volatile temper many years back. And was I  stressed! Through the years (and with the mellowing of age), I realized that if you face a problem head-on with negativity, you end up very unhappy. I would always try to get the upper-hand in arguments. My late husband used to  say that I always wanted to win with my reasoning. True. Even when the arguments would turn to negative remarks, I would still plunge into it instead of turning away  with humility and understanding. I thought I would be happy if I hade the last say. I wasn’t.

So choose to be happy. This is an overused expression but still many of us forget this. Happiness is up to us. No matter what the immediate circumstances are, choose to be happy. Even better, say “Yes, let’s be happy!” not “maybe”, or “it depends”. Say “yes!”

Here’s another piece of advice from the website:  “whistle while you work” and “smile” to drive negativity away.

Snow White was surrounded with happy dwarfs who whistled not only at work but even when walking. Well, except for Grumpy, that is. The whistlers are also music lovers. They can’t help sing a song. When music fills the air, it creates magic in our feelings and attitude. Drive negativity away with music.

Notice how people, young and old, use  headphones while waiting, walking or riding a vehicle. They don’t want to hear the noise around them or let what they see disrupt their state of being. Music brings them to another world of peace and harmony.

The downside is that people who constantly wear  earplugs to remove themselves from the real world  become so detached that they don’t care anymore. The young persons bring negativity to their parents because they’re  too absorbed  in their own musical world. Oh well, too much of everything is bad!

What about smiling? I have this obvious crease between my eyebrows and even if I’m just concentrated at work, I appear to be scowling. I guess that skin crease came about because I rarely smiled while growing up. With major family crisis as a twin to my adolescent years, I would absorb all the negativity and fight it. I felt I had to show the world I was a survivor.

Now I know that a person who knows how to smile is not weak but can be a model survivor because to face challenges in life and still manage to be a smiling person is a victory in itself. Smiling is pre-programmed in all of us. Smile at  babies. They smile back. Smile at a stranger in the street. He will  smile back.  It’s like yawning. Haven’t you noticed that when you yawn, another person does it too? So not bad, eh, to smile and be contagious?

When things bog you down and nothing seems to be going right, do something new. Shake things up! Dance,  try eating a new dish,  take another route going home, talk to someone new. All of these can pump up your attitude.

Remember that even  the worst of circumstances have opportunities.  I once had to leave a company out of frustration that I was not getting support after years of hard work. It was a high-paying job and I thought I was doomed after that. But leaving led me to look at new careers that I had never considered before.  It pays to shift careers! And now I’m happier, more peaceful and contented.

I thought I would live with anger in me because of the way my father abandoned us, the sudden loss of my husband and later  the loss of that job. I didn’t learn to let anger go till 10 years ago as I immersed myself in a spiritual community that made me lean on God’s love and kindness more than self-pity.

I learned from my community that during the hardships in our lives, we must put our faith in God and know that He will take care of us. Every test that God gives us is designed to strengthen our faith in Him. We can always come out absolutely positive from a negative circumstance because He knows it is not beyond our strength. He never gives us a problem that we can’t overcome.

“…And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13).”

In the footnotes of the New International Version, the Greek for “temptation” and “tempted” can also mean “testing” and “tested”.

So when facing negativity, turn the other direction, towards God and face positivity. Then the answers and opportunities will emerge.

As long as we look towards God for upliftment, who can be against us? What negativity can break us?