November closes this week. What a month! Many things went wrong for me.
My car had to go to the shop. Major overhaul. For three weeks now I had to take public transportation
My internet provider encountered system issues. For one week, I couldn’t get a clear handle of my work. It is heavily dependent on internet and so 50% of the time I had to work from an internet café.
My back pains and numbness in my arms came back. Movements were limited and rising in the morning was a struggle.
My daughter confided love problems. Seeing her hurt and in tears tugged at my heart. I prayed to God for her healing. If only I can bear her pain.
One more week left of this month and I don’t know if there’s still another episode to test my nerves. But I just hope I can face it squarely in the eye again.
One morning, as I struggled to get up from bed to pray, I found myself sighing and saying “God, it does pour when it rains. What are you up to this time? Why all these inconvenience and discomforts?”
Before I get to the point of self-pity, I opened my Bible to the second book of Chronicles and this verse just leapt out: “Give thanks to God, His love never quits.” And then I felt my face wet with tears.
I have let anxiety overcome me. There were even harder times before and did God fail me? Solutions took time to come but still, in the end God showed me that his love truly never quits. And the other big lesson is that I should not quit thanking Him even in the midst of my concerns.
And so I closed my eyes and let my heart seek the good in the bad things that have been happening. I know that when I realize the good in bad there is no way that I can’t thank God for it.
By not having to drive for three weeks, my body didn’t have to experience more pain that it was already having. God granted me rest from the rigors of driving! And with this rest came also the lessening of my back and arm aches.
I remembered two reports on TV that made me forget about my physical oppression. My body aches were nothing compared to that 6-year old boy who was burned to death when his mother and live-in partner left him chained in the house and that mentally challenged man who was rescued in the province after being chained for 11 years by his own relatives. And here I am, feeling exasperated over my body pains? I thank God for just this kind of discomfort.
Without a vehicle to drive also gave me the chance to observe (and pray!) for ordinary people I rode with in the jeepney. This was something I could not experience in the confines of my own car. And that is another good thing I got from a bad situation.
Though I had to walk my way to the internet café, I thanked God for the physical exercise. And because the café environment is not my own, I didn’t have to work till midnight like I used to do. It’s not that I am complied to do this, but with wifi at home, I couldn’t resist working even late at nights. This could have caused my back aches, too. And so again, God gave me rest.
On the other hand, to control the frustration that was building in me is proving to be tough after hearing countless promises from my internet provider that they are fixing their system to restore the internet connection. But when I thought of how God was giving me the opportunity to grow in patience, self-control and humility—virtues I profess to believe that I have but are now being tested, how could I not thank God again for this?
My mind shifted next to my daughter’s situation. Though I also felt her pain, God reminded me that heartaches can make one stronger and more dependent to lean on His strength because He will provide the healing needed. Her pain moved her to confide in me which is rare for her to do with the kind of personality she had. So when she did talk to me, I know it comforted her that no matter how other people hurt her, I will always be the solid arms that will embrace her.
As I went through all the positive ends of my concerns, I felt the tears flow down again but this time, I felt better. They were tears of joy and faith that God will hear my prayers for reprieve and solutions. He has always come to my rescue and all these unfortunate events this month will not be an exception that.
My problems may seem petty compared to other major concerns. But small or big, the bottomline is that there is a God who is even bigger than all our problems. All He wants us to do is to have faith in Him, give thanks and pray. Philippians 4:6 teaches us the secret to get God’s attention: “Do not be anxious about anything. Instead in every situation, through prayer and petition with THANKSGIVING, tell your requests to God.”
As I write this, my internet has not yet been restored, I still have to hear from the car shop, I continue to bear with my body pains and I couldn’t always be there at her side when my daughter is hurting, but now I bring myself to smile, thank God and hold the faith that all these concerns will be resolved …in His perfect time. Amen.