More than a year after the remains of his 6-year-old daughter Ellah Joy was found in a ravine in Barili town, south Cebu, Renante Pique and his family have found ways to cope with their loss.
Renante said he found comfort in the group “Hugs” a Cebu-based support organization for parents grieving over the deaths of their children.
“They helped us accept the truth that Ellah is gone from us,” a teary-eyed Renante said.
His youngest daughter Ellah Joy was kidnapped while walking home from school in Minglanilla town last Feb. 8. A Cebuana, Bella Ruby Santos and her British partner Ian Charles Griffiths who is at large stand accused of being responsible for her death.
Renante spoke in a press conference of Hugs yesterday. He recalled how Ellah would sing “Jingle Bells” during Christmas and ask for cake and sweets to be served at the table.
Renante said “Hugs” reached out a few months after Ellah’s funeral and counseled him and his family on coping with Ellah’s death. The parents in the group lost their kids to illnesses, violent abuse and suicides. It was pioneered by nine couples who each experienced some of these misfortunes.
Group counseling is given free to the affected parents. The organization was formed last October 2009 after the death of Col. Tony Obenza’s daughter. Obenza said he and his wife received encouragement from others.
“No one could answer our whys, and what ifs. There are questions which only us who share the same grief could answer. That’s when we started to invite and encourage parents who lost their children,” said Obenza.
Through parents helping and condoling with each other, they survived.
“Why Hugs? Because we are still longing to hug our long lost child,” Obenza added.
He said during their meetings, laughter and sorrow are shared. “Us men, we also cry. There are no inhibitions because we know what each one of us feels because we are sharing the same faith,” Col. Obenza said.
Members described their group as “unique” because they started in pain. “And now that we are healed, we offer our help professionally as counsels,” said Annie Uy, a Hugs member.
The organization, now on its third year, is joining the 16th World-Wide Candle Lighting participated by over 50 countries every second Sunday of December.
“This is a way to celebrate Christmas with our departed kids. It is a one-hour candle lighting from time zone to time zone,” Uy added.
Uy said the organization is encouraging grieving parents to join the candle lighting on Dec. 9, at 5 p.m. at Plaza Independencia in Cebu City.
Interested parents can send pictures and videos of their departed kids with a background story to bongpetralba@yahoo.com.
They can also contact 09168211112/412-9103 and look for Jun Uy, vice president for external affairs. Correspondent Joy Cherry S. Quito