Present
Twenty-six years ago, when my eldest son was born, I couldn’t resist picking him up right away when he would cry. Friends had advised I shouldn’t always be at the beck and call of my baby but I couldn’t resist the urge to pick him up right away.
Months after, it became a battle of nerves at night (mostly at the hours of dawn) because when I put him back in his crib, he would cry and so I had to pick him up right away. My friends were right. I would end up leaning against the wall, my son sleeping in my arms but I would fight sleep standing up.
To keep me awake, I would put the cassette tape (yes, that long ago!) of Gary Valenciano’s song “Di Bale Na” and when the song played, I would be able to put my son down and get my sleep. But when the music stopped, my son would wake up and cry again! And the whole drama would unfold until morning.
I learned my lesson. When my next two children were born, I resisted picking them up immediately every time they whimpered as long as I knew they were dry, not hungry and not hurt by anything around them. True enough, they would just stop crying and fall asleep. Such a relief!
Back to my eldest son. When he went to school for the first time at 5 years old, I accompanied him to the door of his classroom and left. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw tears welling up in his eyes when he saw me walk away. Many times he would look at the door and search for me. I actually hid myself and just watched him from a corner window. I had to stop myself from going to the classroom and sit with him. He couldn’t see me but I was actually there making sure he was all right.
If you’re a parent, you know what I’m talking about. Why do we put ourselves through such sacrifices?
One reason is that we want our children to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around them. We want to help them be resilient on their own when they move through difficult situations as they grow up. But since we never really get out of their sight but just let them be independent adults, they know we will always be there to be a shoulder to lean on or a person they can embrace through all the sobs and tears in their life.
Parents’ love should always be unconditional. No matter if our children live up to our expectations or not, we must know how to be present for them especially when no one else will.
I can imagine how God does it also for us. We are a hardened and stubborn lot and I hope His white hair is not a product of His misery understanding us, His children (lol).
We seem not to feel God’s presence especially in the midst of our difficult times. But He is actually there watching us, working behind the scenes, designing the right moves for us.
He alone knows the perfect time to answer our prayers. His answer can be “yes” to what we want to have in life and hurray for this!
But it can also be “later” because He knows giving in to our requests right away would not be good for us.
Or He may decide “no, we can’t have what we want” because our purpose is wrong or our motivations will hurt other people or ourselves.
Whatever the answer is, one thing is sure. God is there, even when we don’t immediately feel His presence.
A quote on Facebook states: “It’s not that I feel alone because I have no friends. I have lots of friends. I know that I have people who can hold me and reassure me and talk to me and care for me and think of me. But they can’t be inside my head with me all the time—for all time.”
God is in our hearts. His Son Jesus knew what this was all about. He ended up alone on the cross, deserted by His disciples. Alone, He cried out to His Father, “Why have you abandoned me?”
But He knew that his isolation was not loneliness. His cry was not one of frustration, but more of surrender to His Father’s will. He knew that God was with Him all the way.
We have the abiding presence of God with us. He is eternal, omniscient and omnipresent. Only He could be with us all the time, for all time.
So when difficult moments come and there seems to be no one who can help us, just look up to the cross. Jesus’ death made it possible for you and me to have a restored relationship with God and to be a member of His family.
And as heirs to His Kingdom, we should believe that our Father is actually out there—present and watching over us. It was love for us that made God give us His Son and it is the same love that we should put in our hearts and keep on all the time.
I may no longer be picking up crying babies or sending a little child to school, but I know that even if my sons are far away and my daughter will one day have her own family, they will still be safe under the ever watchful eyes of God.
One day I may forever be absent from their lives but God will remain present in their hearts. I will not be a lonely widow but a child of God enjoying His glorious presence.
