Free

I cringed every time a twenty something asked me  my opinion about their current situation. There was something about the puppy look in their pupils that made mine dilate. It used to be intimidating to tell them something that, I thought, would damage them in the future. It is a little better now though, since the years have rolled along and I no longer go into my default (and escapist) Teacher Liza mode. I no longer start a lecture. Now that I am (ahem) older, and now that life has knocked me around a little bit, I don’t grope as much as I used to.  It is no longer the blind leading the myopic. The years have a tendency to do that to you.

Let them talk

We have everything now to get our messages across easily. You choose: SMS, social networking, SKYPE, Facetime, WhatsApp, Viber. We don’t even have to be hampered by the rules of grammar as auto-correction does the thinking for us.  If you don’t feel like using words, then Instagram it. If you don’t want to send an image, send an emoticon. But we get so caught up with the peripherals – the speed, the gloss and the color, that we miss the message.  We fail to read between the clever lines.

This is where I let them talk. I let them speak so that they can hear themselves. Ah yes, hearing oneself in between earphones and 24-hour downloadable music, is precious (but scary) these days. I ask questions so that I can understand. I ask questions so that I remove myself from my own interpretations of their situation to actually trying to wear their shoes. If I come up with my own solutions, then I haven’t heard them enough.

What would you do in my situation?

Well, well, well. If I give them an answer here, it would be the easy way out for me. I can get on with my coffee.

But funny, if I give them an answer here, they come right back and ask me again when they find themselves in a bind. They didn’t get to rely on themselves. The good answers need to be the ones that they’ve come up with, by themselves. The best answers are the ones that they are willing to own and take responsibility for.

Prudence

A verse from today’s first reading from the Book of Wisdom says that: “I prayed, and prudence was given me; I pleaded, and the spirit of wisdom came to me.” Prudence is an intellectual habit that allows us to see what is virtuous and what is right in our daily, everyday affairs. It allows us to distinguish what is courageous and what is cowardly or reckless.  It allows us to see the choice with what builds and what viciously destroys.

Prudence is not something that is given to a limited few. The book of Wisdom reminds that it is available to all; one only needs to ask for it sincerely. And when one practices these little acts guided by prudence every day, the bigger ones cease to scare. Maybe we can make the heroic decisions that the Rich Young Man shied away from.

So go ahead, young man. Do the math, listen to your heart and take the plunge. There, in that sacred space between the “shadow and the soul”, lies theanswer that you already know.

Take that first step and move into it. It is different and uncomfortable, but it sure is worth your why.