I was listening to a parish priest’s homily in Sunday Mass when I suddenly perked up at the mention of starfishes. He said he always loved to see them when he goes home to the province. Something he said about how these creatures live reminded me of how I should live my life, too.
When its arms are bitten, they simply regenerate. The arm of a starfish may be cut off, but with the autotomy of their arms, the whole body creates again a new one. In the end nothing is lost. They just let go of the bitten arm.
Let go. Easy to say, hard to do. It breaks our heart to let go of things or people close to our hearts.
I recently underwent a total hysterectomy; my uterus, ovaries and cervix were removed. I have lived a disease-free life. Except for giving birth to three children and complying with annual physical exams in companies I worked with, I was never a hospital stayer. I didn’t even have a permanent doctor to run to. I thank God for having given me a healthy body – until July this year.
My uterus was found to be enlarged but before removing it, I had to treat a weak heart which was discovered during the pre-surgery work ups required. I have never parted with any of my major organs and now this.
So when D-day came I told my OB-GYNE doctor to please take a photo of what would be removed Good thing that my doctor is also fond of taking pictures of her work, and so it happened.
I have on my iPhone two shots of my reproductive organs removed from me. My children and friends would squirm, shudder and close their eyes after looking at the photos. They found me weird to be keeping the photos and looking at them nonchalantly.
I told them these are vital parts of my body so why shouldn’t I look? These have given me three beautiful children and so they were precious to me even if they brought me pain in the last six months.
However, I have to let go of them so I can live life normally and peacefully.
Like life. It can never be simple. And we have to accept that. Accepting is letting go. And when we do, we feel peaceful. Ajahn Chah’s advice speaks volumes: “If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.”
Like the starfish. Once it lets go of all arms, more will be regenerated. If it lets go of only one, then only one arm regenerates.
What are the things that we must let go, so we can regenerate more peace for ourselves?
Let go of anger and bitterness. Don’t ignore these feelings but accept them. Then rant it out. Go to a vacant lot and shout out all that’s making you mad and bitter. Next, express your anger to the person who hurt you, if possible. You may not control how that person responds but you can control how clearly you express yourself. Moving on will easily happen after this.
Let go of stress. Funny how a medical scare about my heart has taught me not to sweat over little things anymore Take things as they are. Think 20 years into the future, and then 30 and you will realize that many of the things you’re worrying about now don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. So why worry? Be happy.
This leads to the third thing to let go: frustration with yourself and your life. No one is perfect, but surely you must have done something good. Make a list of your accomplishments—even the small ones— and add to it daily. Pat yourself on the back and see how discontentment is replaced with self-satisfaction.
Let go of past relationships. I was devastated when I lost my husband to cancer. I thought there was no other love as great as his. But when I resolved that I could find an amazing love again, it was easier to move forward. Resist the feeling of one “never to feel loved again!” Love yourself first and you will have love regenerated everywhere.
“Loving myself means letting go.” You can’t give love if you don’t love yourself. So when you do, you deny yourself some things to make another person happy.
The ultimate purpose in our life is to make God happy. And God is most happy when we follow him.
He said in the gospel of Matthew: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
In other Bible translations, it’s more specific: “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.”
Are there things in your life you need to let go and be removed so you can follow God and make Him happy?
Selfishness? Pride? Unforgiveness? Envy? Discontentment? Cut these off. Ask God to help you remove them. His Grace has so much power that love and peace will take its place and make you whole again– just like the starfish that lets go of its arms, regenerates and is made whole again.
Next time I see a starfish, I know better than to be afraid to let go.