“You are always only one choice away from changing your life.”
— Mary Blochowiak.
When I was little, I would wait behind the main door of our house, always expecting Dad with a little “something” for me from his out-of-town trips. One day and some more days, he didn’t come back anymore, but I continued the same kind of waiting. Then tears of frustration flowed, and unforgiveness rooted in my heart for almost four decades.
I could have chosen to stop waiting and enjoyed my childhood. But I was little and didn’t know better.
I could have chosen not to drive myself too hard and prove to relatives our family would be better off without them. But I was struggling with adolescent pressures and I didn’t know better.
I could have chosen to forgive my dad. This I did. After four decades, I knew better to let go of pride and anger than be shackled inside miserably.
For two years, I shared time and resources to take care of him when his health failed. He died. Yet I know he was happy I forgave him. I know I was happy to have served him.
One choice. And it changed my life.
Life is all about making choices—big and small. But why are we sometimes scared to make choices? Is it safer that way? Or are we afraid of consequences?
But all we do in life has a consequence. Choosing not to make a decision is in itself a decision and it will have its own consequences.
If you choose not to study and finish, you will not have a diploma. If you choose to lazy around and not work, you can’t buy anything you want. If you choose to eat voraciously, don’t expect to be free from illness. If you pursue a relationship with someone in the wrong time, heartbreak may not be far away.
Just one choice can change our life forever. The life we have now is actually the sum of the choices we have made. But we can choose to steer to another direction. There’s hope, regardless of circumstances, for a better tomorrow.
That life-changing choice may be to switch careers, to leave an abusive relationship, to stop drinking, to smile more, to adopt a child, to lose weight or to just love again!
I chose to go back to school last year and come September will take the licensure exam for teachers. Never mind the age! I chose to take in a mixed-bred Labrador puppy last year. Now she’s 27 kilos and makes me happy. And to think I hated dogs all my life!
In the face of adversity, I know choices can be hard. I’ve been there.
When my husband died almost 15 years ago, I hibernated for two months. I thought life was unfair and didn’t want to embrace it again. But looking at my three children all under 10 years, I chose to bounce back, applied for work from scratch, and faced the challenges of a single parent head-on.
Not an easy ride. But I chose to hang on. God also made His choice not to let go of me even if I didn’t call on Him.
God chose to love me, a sinner. It saved my life. I drowned in His amazing grace. I wonder what my life would have been if God chose to abandon me. Tears always well up when I think how undeserving I am to receive His blessings. My children, orphaned early from their Dad, continue to bask in the divine Father’s love now as adults.
I know better now that unconditional love will always be God’s choice by default.
Do you want to know the best formula in making choices? Take this from Anso Coetzer—“Decisions become easier when your will to please God outweighs your will to please the world.”
Trust me. It works. I’ve been there, too. And still am.