Parent’s gentle touch: Raising a child through ‘Attachment Parenting’

Baby Nick with his family, Tatay John Vincent, and Nanay Therese Gernan. Photos courtesy of Therese Dehesa Gernan. Graphics: Lance Uy/INQUIRER.net

Parenting is a rewarding yet challenging journey–filled with joy, unexpected moments, and occasional self-doubt and stress.

Despite the abundant information and countless pieces of advice, there is no “absolute right” approach to parenting. Parents navigate trial and error to find what best suits their values and their children’s needs.

For first-time parent Therese Dehesa Gernan, the path to parenting her son, David Nicolas Gernan, or “Baby Nick,” known to their online followers, is guided with empathy and compassion.

“[It is important for a child to be secure and confident with their parent’s love],” Gernan shared, reflecting on her principles. “[If children are secure and confident with their parents’ love, they will learn how to love themselves and not look for love in others and on material things].”

A gentle and affectionate touch

A gentler and more attached parenting approach does not mean spoiling children; it means seeking to better understand their children’s emotions before taking necessary action.

According to a study by Psychology professor Annie Pezalla, she sees a gentler approach to parenting as a democratic style, putting parents on an even footing with the child instead of traditional hierarchical parenting.

In another article reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD, attachment parenting is seen as a modern parenting philosophy emphasizing physical and emotional infant-parent bonds that will foster child confidence and security.

Gernan sees that adopting a more open and understanding approach with foundations of kindness, respect, and love will make Baby Nick more empathetic and secure.

@theresedehesa “Bakit ako po napili ni God na baby mo?” Good morning, Titos and Titas of Baby Nick! Here is PART 1 of our video of Baby Nick eating my home-cooked Adobong Manok at Atay ng Manok (Chicken and Liver Adobo) and Air-fried Carrots and Kamote ❤️ PLEASE SUPPORT US: 💅 @thinkpinksalon #babynick #babynickreels #babynickvideos #cutebaby #funnybaby #adobo #adobongmanok #adobongatay #adobongatayngmanok #chickenadobo #chickenliveradobo #pagkaingpinoy #pinoyfood #ulamideas ♬ original sound – Instagram: @theresedehesa

Adopting a gentler and more attached approach to parenting manifests  Baby Nick’s growth, fostering his curiosity and creative understanding to shine while nurturing a deep sense of respect and love for his parents.

Communication without instilling fear 

Even when disciplining Baby Nick, Gernan takes a gentler approach. Rather than resorting to force or harsh measures, she believes in communication, helping Baby Nick understand his actions and their consequences.

“[If we want other people to listen to us, accept us, understand us, and learn from us, we must also listen, accept, understand, and learn from our children],” she explained.

“[If we approach children with anger, they may become fearful when they or others make mistakes, potentially leading to irritability and belief that it’s acceptable to respond to others or themselves with anger],” she added.

@theresedehesa PLEASE READ: 1️⃣ Baby Nick was only 3 years old in this video. Hindi po namin siya sinasaktan, pinapalo, sinisigawan, minumura o sinasabihan ng masakit na salita. PINAGSASABIHAN lang po siya. Kindly watch until the end of the video para mapanood niyo po na sumigaw po siya nung nalaman niya na may meeting si Tatay. Nagpaliwanag po ako ng kalmado, mahinahon at maayos. 2️⃣ Pinagsasabihan po siya kapag hindi sumusunod at gumagawa ng bagay na maaari niyang ikapahamak. Halimbawa po, kapag lumalabas po kami ng bahay ay bigla po siyang kumakaripas ng takbo. 3️⃣ Sa tuwing pinagsasabihan si Nick, pinapaliwanag po namin sa kanya kung bakit. Humihingi rin po ako sa kanya ng pasensya, lalo na po kapag hindi po ako nakapagpaliwanag ng mahinahon, kalmado at maayos. 4️⃣ We will continue to do our best to be kind, patient, understanding, and loving parents for Nick. We will also continue to do our best to take care of him and raise him well. “Natatakot po ako ‘pag nagagalit kayo.” Hello, Titos, Titas, and Officemates of Baby Nick! Here is PART 5 of our video of Baby Nick at 3 years old with my PORK STEAK with White Onions and Air-fried Potatoes ❤️ PLEASE FOLLOW US: 💅 @thinkpinksalon #babynick #blw #babyledweaning #pinoyfood #porksteak #bistektagalog #airfryer #airfriedpotatoes #frenchfries ♬ original sound – Instagram: @theresedehesa

Gernan fosters a relationship with mutual respect and understanding, allowing Baby Nick to communicate his emotions better. 

The attached lifestyle

In the same article reviewed by Legg, PhD, PsyD, this parenting approach emphasized that children who are more attentive to their emotional and physical needs are better at regulating emotions, developing language skills, and showing less distress.

Gernan’s approach to parenting encourages mindful practices for both the parent and the child. Along with the attachment parenting approach, she encouraged first-time parents to breastfeed, limit their children’s screen time, and spend more time with them, believing that these are foundational for children’s well-being.

Although the bumps of parenting did not magically disappear through a gentler approach, Gernan’s journey with Baby Nick fosters love and respect, making them proud and confident that their son will love himself and others.

“[We should remember that we were all children once. We have all wanted our parents to listen to, accept, understand, learn from, and love us],” Gernan emphasized. “We should become the parents our younger selves need.”  — Mian Centeno, INQUIRER.net trainee