AP PHOTO/LM OTERO, FILE
MANILA, Philippines — While there is no single cause for autism spectrum disorder, with genetics and environment playing a role, single mother Ma. Aiza Bercilla of Quezon City has nevertheless always blamed herself for her 6-year-old son Theo being afflicted with the condition related to brain development.
“I think I have failed as a mother. If I had given more time to take care of myself and had more time with him when he was growing up, he would not have that disorder. He should not have had difficulty in communicating, learning new things and finding friends,” Bercilla, a public school teacher for the past 17 years, told the Inquirer.
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Poll of 3,000 mothers
Her anguish reflects the struggle that the majority of working mothers in Southeast Asia are facing.
In the Philippines, nearly seven out of 10 Filipino working mothers are scrambling to find enough time to fulfill their responsibilities at home and at work.
This was based on a quantitative study conducted by Milieu Insight, a market research and data analytics company based in Singapore. The results of the study were shared with the Inquirer on May 7.
The firm conducted a survey among 3,000 working mothers, age 16 and older from April 1 to April 16, across the Philippines, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand and Vietnam.
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Other challenges
Based on the study, 59 percent of Southeast Asian mothers were struggling to find enough time for both work and family commitments, with this challenge considered the top concern among Filipino mothers at 66 percent.
Other top challenges faced by working Filipino mothers were struggle to care for themselves (35 percent); sense of guilt when they prioritize work responsibilities (33 percent); job discrimination and unequal pay (25 percent); finding reliable child care options (23 percent); and lack of supportive workplace policies (21 percent).
“While women have contributed to Southeast Asia’s growth, their share of managerial positions remains below parity. Our study highlights the pressing challenges by working Southeast Asian women today, including the delicate balance between work and family commitments, self-care amid hectic schedules and the burden of guilt when prioritizing professional responsibilities,” said Juda Kanaprach, cofounder of Milieu Insight.
“However, amid these obstacles, it’s heartening to know that working mothers in Asia employ various strategies to navigate the complexities of their personal and professional lives. As we celebrate the pivotal role of mothers in our society this Mother’s Day, let us acknowledge and address their strength and sacrifices,” she added.
Kid at the workplace
Grace, a 30-year-old first-time mother who works at a foreign consular office in Makati City, was forced to bring her then 6-month-old son Caleb to her workplace last year when she could not find a nanny and her husband needed to work on-site every day.
While her workplace was supportive and did not mind Caleb’s presence, she herself was not totally comfortable with the situation.
“My son would sometimes cry out for my attention, so I could not work properly. There were also instances when I noticed his gums were bleeding because he had accidentally put office supplies in his mouth,” said the mother from Taguig City.
“It’s exhausting every day when I have to bring Caleb to work. For me, he should not be at our office in the first place. He should not be stuck in traffic going to our office every day. He should have been in our home playing, sleeping, eating or even crying whenever he wanted,” Grace added.
When Caleb turned a year-old early this year, Grace’s family received a “miracle”: her husband was hired by a bank that allowed him to work most days at home, hence he could now take care of their son while she was away.
“I am more than happy with our current setup,” she said.
Support systems
Based on the study, 68 percent of working mothers in Southeast Asia believe that remote work and flexible working arrangements would improve their chances of achieving work-life balance.
The Filipino respondents were the most adamant, with 39 percent — the highest in the region — strongly agreeing that it was the best solution to their problems at work and at home.
They are also calling for various support systems in the workplaces: career development programs tailored to working moms (47 percent); extended leave policies (30 percent); parental support groups or networks (24 percent); and on-site child care facilities (21 percent).
Ultimate motivation
But despite the hardships, both Grace and Bercilla said they were having the best times of their lives.
“As a working mother, I am happy that I am able to provide for our family, and at the same time spend time with our son. There is no greater joy for me [than coming] home and he comes to me and tells me that he loves his Mama,” Grace said.
“Despite the exhaustion, it is my family that keeps me going and working hard to provide the best for my Caleb and our family,” she said.
“There are compromises — I cannot be a ‘yes woman’ at my work all the time — but I know my priorities, and it is always for my family.”