Between heaven and mirth

St. Teresa of Avila, a 16th century aristocrat who became a Carmelite nun, reformer and Doctor of the Church said: “A sad nun is a bad nun. I am more afraid of one unhappy sister than a crowd of evil spirits….What would happen if we hid what little sense of humour we had? Let each of us humbly use this to cheer others.” Indeed, Teresa could have been one of those frighteningly efficient and ridiculously multi-talented women who sparkled on paper … but was dour and flat in person. But she was not, and it shows in her writings. The first line of her autobiography is famously self-deprecating: “Having virtuous and God-fearing parents would have been enough for me to be good if I were not so wicked.”

Four centuries later, Fr. James Martin, SJ echoes the importance of cheer in his book “Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humour and Laughter are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life” (HarperCollins USA, 2011). He expounds and at many times, defends the importance of joy. He makes several insights that are truthful and accessible.

Humour evangelizes.

This funny Jesuit points out that anyone who is truly in touch with God is joyful. Think of people who are truly holy.  Isn’t it almost impossible to think of them NOT smiling? Joyfulness shows people that you believe in the resurrection and that everything is passing, including pain and suffering. It shows which side you are on.

Mirth, and in this case happiness draws people. St. Francis of Assisi instructed his followers: ”Preach the Gospel, if necessary use words.” I go to a Franciscan parish here in the woody western enclaves of Singapore. After every mass, a number of the friars in their flowing chocolate robes, mill around and chat with the parishioners. Most of us don’t know any of them, but they engage us with their eyes and sincere smiles. A friend of mine, who has in the past, been wary of the mass and regular church – going, now makes a genuine effort to attend regular Sunday mass. He feels loved and accepted by the smiling friars, yet he hasn’t even exchanged a word with them.

Compare this with my early experience of attending a mass in beautiful St. Joseph Church in Baguio City. My younger brother, being a tiny tot at that time, insisted on kneeling beside the pew and inadvertently made himself very visible to the priest. At consecration, the priest raised his hand, brought his hands down and pointed at my brother, then bellowed:”Will someone take that boy away!” I was horrified, and the people gasped. We avoided this parish for a long time, fearing that “angry, scary man” might be there.

Humour is a tool for humility.

I recently had an important meet-up where I desperately wanted to make a good impression. And so, on that blessed afternoon, everything was in place – the hair, the new French labelled blouse, the shoes and the stance. I was on the escalator when I felt myself getting stuck – did my pretty shoes have magnets I didn’t know about? I went to the nearest restroom and peeked under my shoe. The soles of my heels chose that time to detach themselves (a.k.a. Natangtang ang takong sa sapatos.)  The rest of the evening was peppered with a lot of ‘tok-tok-tok’.

What was God telling me? He was showing me that I was taking myself too seriously and making a big deal of myself.  And when I can’t laugh at myself anymore, I don’t think I can be trusted with any influence or power that might be lent to me. I might then find myself screaming at a ground stewardess because she had the gall to tell me that my luggage has been misplaced

Humour opens our minds.

When we laugh, we release endorphins into our bodies, which in turn relax us.  When we are relaxed, we are much more open and intuitive – connecting ourselves to everyone around us. It is the opposite of the effect of fear, which releases adrenaline and limits our bodies to key in on limited stimuli since we are on survival mode. Watch this at work. When you have to give feedback to a colleague and if he is nervous – very little exchange of ideas happen. He will be angry and defensive. On the other hand, if one takes time to build the relationship with sincerity and humour – it will be a dialogue among equals, marked with trust and openness.

No one needs humour more than our mothers, who have an almost insurmountable task of rearing children in this crazy world we live in nowadays. I wish each Mother out there, reading this right now, to take this role of motherhood with a pinch of salt and a dash of laughter. Laugh and be joyful. With the sound of your laughter, you will teach your children the life-saving value of joyfulness.  It will also be a sound that soothes their spirits when you cannot be around to laugh with them anymore. They will be a little sad, but they will remain joyful – for they know that you are now smiling and laughing having a rollicking good time with the saints in heaven.