Rufino Magiting Teodocio (left) and Julius Caezar Polandaya (right) (Photos from Rowen Obaña and Doulos for Christ)
MANILA, Philippines — Everyone hoped it was just an April Fool’s Day joke.
After all, Rufino Magiting Teodocio, or “Kuya Ruf” as his younger friends call him, was just supposed to board a vehicle so he could transfer to a hospital in Pampanga province when he suddenly fell unconscious.
But it was not a trick. After a few minutes of trying to resuscitate him in a Manila hospital, Rufino, a COVID-19 patient, was declared dead.
He might have suffered a cardiac arrest, nurses told his wife, Rudgie, shortly before her 36-year-old husband died.
Rufino started to have COVID symptoms—colds, cough, and fever—in the last week of March. Because all beds were occupied at that time, he initially had to stay in a makeshift tent on his first day at the hospital before he was transferred to the facility’s intensive care unit.
It was normal for Rudgie to pray for the healing of her husband, but her prayers eventually changed.
“Nagpepray lang ako doon, tapos naalala ko nung time na ‘yun, ang sabi ko, sige na nga, Lord. Kasi ang lahat ng prayer ko, pagalingin niyo po si Rufino. Sige na nga, Lord, ipagpepray ko na ikaw na ang bahala. Your will be done na. Kung gusto mo siyang kunin, hawak mo na siya. Basta ang alam ko, hawak mo kami,” she said in an interview with INQUIRER.net.
(I was just praying there. All of my prayers were for God to heal Rufino. But during that time, I asked him to take control and let his will be done. I told God that if you want to take him already, he is yours. What I know is that you’re holding us.)
Rufino Magiting Teodocio with his wife Rudgie and son Ruru. (Photo from Rufino Magiting Teodocio’s Facebook account)
On the eve of March 31, Rufino’s oxygen level dropped significantly. His death the next day came unannounced. As Rudgie described it, everything happened so fast.
But despite the sudden turn of events, Rudgie said she felt peace in her heart.
“Nung time na ‘yun, nakaupo na lang kami [ng mga kasama ko]. Tapos pumunta ako kay Rufino. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero malungkot ako na masaya na hindi ko malaman. Hindi ko maintindihan pero may peace ako,” she said.
(During that time, my companions and I were just sitting there. Then I went to Rufino. I do not know why but I was sad and happy at the same time. I could not understand why but I had peace.)
The death of a loved one will not immediately sink in to anyone, and so even Rudgie asked if her husband had, indeed, died already.
“Naaalala ko pa noong magsusulat ako ng form at pipirma, nakita ko April 1. Lord, April Fools’ lang ba ‘to? Baka naman gigising pa ‘to,” she said, joking.
(I remember when I filled out a form, I saw that his death happened on April 1. I asked the Lord if it was just a joke on April Fools’ Day. Maybe Rufino will wake up again.)
Eventually, Rudgie started to accept her husband’s passing.
“Lord ang hirap, pero oo nga no, it had to happen. Na sige na nga. Ang hirap pero it had to happen (Lord, this is too tough, but yes, it had to happen. It’s hard but it had to happen),” she said.
Rufino and Rudgie have been married since 2018. They have a two-year-old son named Andru Gerald Oriel, or Ruru, which was derived from the names of his parents.
‘I love you. I’m sorry’
Like Rufino, his churchmate Julius Caezar Polandaya also started to show symptoms of COVID-19 in the last week of March. Julius eventually recovered from COVID in the second week of April but he was discharged only in the first week of May due to health complications.
But in July, just three months after Rufino’s death, Julius, who had a pre-existing kidney condition, also died.
“We went to a clinic to do labs. Nakita na mataas ang heart rate niya pero low blood siya. Then binigyan na siya ng medications (They noticed that his heart rate was high but he was low blood),” his wife Camille said in a separate interview.
Then on the evening of July 6, Julius started to feel dizzy.
“Nag-aayos na kami para matulog then siya nakahiga na, bigla siyang sumigaw ng ‘ay, nahihilo ako.’ That’s the last word I heard from him, then naglalabas na siya ng air sa mouth niya. Then no pulse na agad siya. Sinugod namin siya agad sa hospital. Ni-revive kaso after 30 minutes, wala na daw talaga. Dead on arrival na daw siya,” Camille narrated.
(We were preparing to sleep. He was lying down when he suddenly shouted ‘I feel dizzy.’ Those are the last words I heard from him. Then he was releasing air through his mouth. Then he had no pulse. We rushed him to a hospital. They tried to revive him but after 30 minutes, they said he was gone. He was declared dead on arrival.)
Julius Caezar Polandaya with his wife Camille and daughters Chloe, Zoe, and Irie. (Photo from Ana Camille Polandaya’s Facebook account)
Julius died due to a cerebrovascular accident, or the medical term for stroke, according to his medical certificate.
He was just 37. He married Camille in 2012.
It might have been a short life, but he left tons of precious memories with Camille and their seven-year-old twins, Chloe and Zoe, and their four-year-old daughter, Irie.
“Everyday, meron kaming hugs and kisses at sinasabi niya na ‘I love you’ and ‘sorry’ kasi matagal na daw siyang may sakit (Everyday, we shared hugs and kisses and he was telling me ‘I love you’ and ’sorry’ because he was sick),” said Camille.
Mourn, but life must go on
For Camille, people who lost loved ones need to take their time to mourn.
“I know the pain and hurt ng mawalan ng mahal sa buhay. We can cry a lot. We can take our time to mourn… But as we go through that season, I want them to see the beauty and goodness of God,” she said when asked what she wants to tell other people who also lost family members during the pandemic.
“Hindi man naaayon sa gusto nating mangyari na makasama natin silang habambuhay, pero thankful tayo na hindi na sila mahihirapan, at for sure iyong mga mahal natin sa buhay na nawala, mas gusto nila na ipagpatuloy natin ang buhay natin, na maging masaya tayo kahit miss na miss natin sila.
(Even if things didn’t turn out the way we want, we should be thankful that they will suffer no more. For sure, they would want us to continue our lives and be happy even if we miss them so much.)
“Kasi forever in a lifetime natin sila mamimiss. Hindi mawawala iyon kaya mas matetreasure natin ‘yung bawat memories natin sa kanila, at magiging thankful tayo, na ‘yung mga memories na meron tayo sa mga mahal natin sa buhay na namayapa ay pinapangarap pa lang din pala ng ibang tao,” she added.
(We will miss them forever in our lifetime. That’s why we will be able to treasure every memory with them and be thankful, because the memories we had with them are only being dreamt of by others.)
While she said she believes that there may be no right words for consolation, Rudgie, like Camille, also sought to encourage those who lost loved ones to look at the bright side of life.
“It’s hard but you see the bright side of everything. The Lord naman is in control. He has his plans. Kaya it’s so important na in all of these things na pinagdadaanan natin (that we go through), you have something bigger na pinanghahawakan (whom you hold on to),” she said.
(It’s hard but you see the bright side of everything. The Lord is in control. He has his plans. That’s why it’s so important that, in all of these things we go through, you have something bigger to hold on to)
“Without that support na nanggagaling from a higher power, it will really be hard,” Rudgie stressed.
She also said that every season, even the season of mourning, has its own beauty.
“Yung emotions mo are there. ‘Yung memories, maaalala mo. Just embrace that season, wag mong i-despise ‘yung season, kasi every season naman has its own beauty, so kung season man ‘yun na sorrowful, mourning ka, you’re sad, umiiyak ka, go through that season,” Rudgie said.
(Your emotions are there. You will remember the memories. Just embrace that season and don’t despise it because every season has its own beauty. So if you are going through a sorrowful season and you are mourning, sad, and crying, just go through that season.)
“Same as winter, ‘di ba? Hindi mo [mapipilit] na one week lang ang winter. May process na nangyayari ‘yan eh,” she went on.
(It’s the same as winter. You cannot force winter to just stay for one week. There is a process.)
For Camille and Rudgie, life must still go on.
“Life must go on. Hindi ka naman kinuha ng Lord so ibig sabihin may purpose pa ang life mo. Siguro ‘yun ang magandang pwedeng gawin, to see how I can maximize ‘yung time na meron ako ngayon.
(Life must go on. The Lord did not take you so your life still has a purpose. Maybe that’s the good thing to do, to see how I can maximize the time I have.)
“I think ‘yun ang mahalaga, na you keep your perspective na ganun. Huwag mong hayaan na ma-overcome ka ng sadness to the point na nagiging gloomy ang atmosphere ng life mo (I think that’s what’s important, to keep that kind of perspective. Do not let sadness overcome you to the point that the atmosphere of your life will be gloomy).
“It really is a process but it is also a decision that even though I am going through this, I will find joy, I will find peace,” said Rudgie.