DAD AND ME Alelu with her father at the observation deck of the Grand Canyon in the United States: I really miss him. CONTRIBUTED PHOTO
The last image Alelu Arroyo has of her dad, the late Negros Occidental Representative Ignacio “Iggy” Arroyo, is one where he was like a child with not a care in the world.
“We were together at the birthday party of Diggy, Kuya Dato’s son, and dad climbed into the inflatable with the other kids. He was so happy and active,” recalled Alelu, the 14-year-old only child of the lawmaker and his estranged wife, Alicia Morales Arroyo. (“Kuya Dato” is her cousin, Camarines Sur Representative Diosdado Macapagal-Arroyo, the youngest child of former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and Jose Miguel “Mike” Arroyo, her father’s elder brother.)
The scene of the interview was the family home. We were seated on the sofa in the living room, the center of which is dominated by a huge portrait of Alelu and her parents in happier days, and where an area has been cleared in preparation for the arrival of the lawmaker’s remains from London.
No communication
Alelu recalled how worried she was when she saw her dad at the party in June 2011, the last time father and child were together.
“I remember telling him, ‘Dad, you better go and get a checkup because you look sick,’” she said. “He laughed it off and started clowning around, saying, ‘I’m so healthy kaya? I’m so healthy kaya? Look, oh, I’m so fit!’ And that’s when he got into the inflatable with the other children.”
There had been no communication between father and child since that last time. The lawmaker flew to London late in 2011 to seek treatment for cirrhosis of the liver.
‘We couldn’t reach him’
Iggy Arroyo suffered cardiac arrest on January 26 and was taken to London Clinic where he was put on a life support system. He was taken off it hours later. He was 61.
“I did not even know that he had left for London,” Alelu said. “I wanted him to come and attend my school activities, but we could not reach him. I found out later that he was out of the country.”
“I really miss my dad…” she said, her voice trailing off.
One particular occasion stands out in Alelu’s memory, leading her to think that perhaps her father had sensed that he would have an early death.
“When I was much younger, I liked to sit with him, and he would point out pictures to me. There was one I really liked; it was a photograph of a tear-shaped diamond,” Alelu said, adding:
“I pointed it out to my dad and he asked me if I really liked it. When I said yes, he shook his head, then he said, ‘No, save those tears, Alelu. Save those tears for when I die.’
“I thought it was weird that he would say such a thing to me. Maybe he already knew that we wouldn’t be able to spend a lot of time together, and that he was going to die soon.”
‘He might have woken up’
It was midmorning when Alicia Morales Arroyo received word from an elder sister that her husband had just had “a stroke.” A few minutes later, another call came in from another sister saying that Iggy did not make it.
She rushed to pick up Alelu from school to break the sad news.
Alelu said she did not expect her mom to be at her school so early: “I asked my teacher why my mom was there but she just told me to go and ask my mom. When we met up, my mom said there was something happening outside and that we had to go.”
It was only later in the day that Alicia received confirmation from the Philippine ambassador to the United Kingdom by telephone that her husband had passed away.
Alelu did not take her father’s death well. The child, who is very active in a prolife advocacy in school, was deeply distraught that the plug had been pulled.
“Who knows, he might have woken up and lived for a week… We’ll never know that now, will we?” she said in a trembling voice filled with sadness.
‘A lot of anger’
Alelu said she had many questions. And it was quite clear how anguished she was about the circumstances and the tug-of-war taking place over her father’s remains.
“I really just hope that dad will go to a better place,” she said. “I’ve been praying for him all this time. I just want to be a better person now, someone whom God can be proud of, whom my dad can be proud of.”
Surrounded by family and cousins, Alelu finds herself talking about her father a lot.
“We loved to go out to eat and watch movies. I did not get to see him a lot these last few years but those few times were very special,” she said. “I just regret that we were not able to talk these last months and that he will not get to see me graduate, or see all my other talents.”
Alelu teared up at the realization that her father was gone for good.
“I have a lot of anger over a lot of the things that have happened to our family. But all I can do now is talk and pray about it,” she said.
When told that her dad was finally coming home to them before being laid to rest, she calmed down and said: “At least we will be able to spend some time with him and give a proper goodbye.”