Making New Year’s resolutions work

For the year 2012, I have resolved to do an hour of aerobics every morning, eat a meat-free lunch, and play with our dog every afternoon.

But last week, a breakfast meeting ended late, leaving little time for exercise. Family friends treated me to a Chinese lauriat lunch. At the first whiff of lemon chicken, my diet was forgotten.

A parent seminar, with a lively question-and-answer session, ended early evening, so when I reached home, I put my feet up, patted the dog, and promised her a walk when I could.

Only two weeks into the New Year, I could barely keep any of my resolutions.

I am not alone. A couple of weeks ago, the organization All about Health surveyed 3,000 British adults.

Most of the respondents had vowed to be healthier—exercise more, eat more nutritious foods, cut down on alcohol and smoking—while others promised to get their finances in order—reduce debt, increase savings. Others resolved to improve relations with friends and family.

But 75 percent of the respondents admitted they were not confident they could stick to their resolutions. In fact, only nine days after the New Year, majority had already given up.

A day, not a year

The wisest advice for sticking to resolutions is probably from the English artist Henry Moore, who once said, “I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.”  Vowing to do something for a year can be highly intimidating, with failure built in.

But keeping a promise for a day is something people can hopefully manage. Break down large goals into smaller ones.

Instead of saying, “I have to lose 30 pounds for my sister’s wedding in June,” tell yourself, “I will try to lose 2 pounds a week by walking and eating as healthily as possible.”

Resolutions also have to be concrete, realistic and positive.

“I will study harder” is a resolution doomed to fail. So is “I will avoid computer games until I get on the honor roll” and “I will not be late for class.”

The first is vague, the second unrealistic, the third negative.

What does “study harder” entail? Doing two more pages of algebra exercises without relying on tutors to give the answers, reading “Noli Me Tangere” in Filipino rather than relying on the English translation, revising the term paper rather than resorting to “cut and paste”?

Make resolutions as concrete as possible, so you can plan ahead accordingly.

How realistic are your goals? For example, how many hours will the above activities require? Perhaps one more hour in mathematics, 45 more minutes for Filipino, another 45 more minutes for English every day. That means a total of 2.5 hours less time to chat online, play computer games or watch television.

Is this feasible? Of course, it is not easy, but is it doable? Most students can spend two more hours of study (which means two hours less of play) daily, but an extra three hours may be a stretch.

Parents and tutors, take note: Too much study (say, a straight three or four hours) often leads to diminishing returns. Students need rest or an alternative thing to do in between bouts of mental expenditure.

Depriving students of TV or computer for a significant period of time is also not a smart move, as it is guaranteed to make them rebel and do these activities elsewhere (in a friend’s house or in the Internet café under the guise of group study).

“I resolve to play computer games for only 30 minutes a day until my social studies grade improves by five points” is a more realistic goal. Who knows, you may be so happy that your grades improve (and you understand the lessons better) that afterwards, you find no more urge to increase game time.

Think positive

Studies have shown that the human mind, whether consciously or not, resists negation. Parents know that telling their children, particularly teens, not to do something is a surefire way to make them do the opposite. The same is true for resolutions.

So, instead of saying “I will not be late for any class,” resolve to wake up earlier every morning. Instead of “I will never smoke again,” resolve to do other activities (watch a movie, walk the dog, laugh with friends) to keep your mind away from the habit.

Instead of “I will not flunk science this quarter,” resolve to do more exercises, participate in laboratory experiments, listen to the teacher, consult peers when you do not understand a topic—and your grades will take care of themselves.

When willpower lags, find ways to motivate yourself. Indulge in a massage after losing 5 lbs. Watch a movie after acing a quiz. Eat out with friends after completing a long project.

And keep on trying. According to the British study mentioned, respondents made the same resolution an average of four times before succeeding.

My resolutions have now changed. Instead of telling myself to do aerobics every morning, I commit to walking 30 minutes a day, whether at home, in school, in the mall, or even between meetings. Instead of promising to be a vegetarian overnight, I commit to eating as many fruits and vegetables at every meal, but to relax and also enjoy treats in the company of friends and family. Instead of forcing myself to walk the dog every afternoon, I commit to spending as much time with her when I can, and asking our son or our helpers to play with her, too.

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