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Police ask public not to call them over toilet paper problems

/ 06:17 PM March 17, 2020
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A police department in Oregon, United States has been forced to issue a statement as citizens have been flooding 911 because they ran out of toilet paper.

The Newport Oregon Police Department pleaded to citizens to not seek police help over such problems, saying that they “will survive without our assistance.”

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“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper,” the police posted on Facebook on March 15.

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The Newport police then offered the public several alternatives to toilet paper, listing down even ancient techniques used by the Ancient Romans and the Mayans.

“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used,” the statement read. “Mayans used corn cobs. Colonial Americans also used the core of the cob. Farmers not only used corn cobs, but used pages from the Farmers Almanac.”

The police then went on to explain that many Americans used torn pages from catalogs and claimed that the extremely thick pages of the Sears Christmas Catalog “could get a family of three wiped clean from December through Valentine’s Day; or Saint Patrick’s Day if they were frugal.”

They also presented other alternatives such as leaves, newspaper, grocery receipts and cloth rags, among others, which might also help alleviate the public’s worry.

“Be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper,” the police department stressed.

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The Newport Oregon Police Department’s post comes just as America, along with several other countries, suffers from a shortage of toilet paper, hand sanitizers and other sanitary items due to the panic buying caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. JB

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TAGS: COVID-19, novel coronavirus, Oregon, ‎Police, Toilet Paper, United States
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