SANCTUARY Seventy-three-year-old “Timoteo,” a former auto mechanic and widower who has an impaired eyesight and walking difficulty, finds comfort at the House of the Lord, a foster home for abandoned elderly in Talisay City, after his only child and daughter, and relatives abandoned him. The home is a daily witness to the elderly’s calvary of family neglect and drought of affection. —CONTRIBUTED PHOTO
(First of two parts)
CEBU CITY, Cebu, Philippines — Timoteo leans back against the pillow and slowly lifts his shaky knees onto the bed.
“I stumble almost every day,” he says in a deep voice, speaking in his native Cebuano.
At 73, the former auto mechanic has difficulty standing on his own. His vision has dimmed, and he can barely keep steady while walking with a cane.
Timoteo would have wanted to spend the rest of his years with his family. But his wife died in 2005 due to diabetes-related complications, and his only child has abandoned him, leaving him with self-pity and agony as his constant companions.
“Imagine being abandoned by your own daughter. That’s very painful. I have many relatives but no one is willing to take care of me,” he tells the Inquirer, adding:
“When my daughter was a baby, I made sure not one fly would touch her. I don’t know why she has become this way.”
Sad reality
Timoteo is under the care of the House of the Lord, a foster home for abandoned elderly in Talisay City, southern Cebu, run by the Missionaries of the Poor (MOP).
The home is daily witness to the elderly’s calvary of family neglect and drought of affection.
Some families find it a burden to care for the elderly, says Fr. Rowell Gumalay, head of the House of the Lord.
“They become impatient,” he laments. “And there seems to be a culture that if you no longer get anything from other people, you just don’t care about them. These elderly are viewed as garbage.”
According to Gumalay, some family members visit the home only after their parent’s passing. And they do so only to claim the death certificate, a prerequisite for acquiring pension benefits and properties bequeathed to them.
“That is just a sad reality,” the priest says. “The elderly are treated like animals. And yet they are human beings created in the very image and likeness of God.”
The number of abandoned elderly has been increasing every year, says Gumalay.
When the MOP opened the House of the Lord in 2014, it had 27 patients. Now, it tends to 43 persons aged 48 to 93, 15 of whom are bedridden due to illness.
In Central Visayas, there are at least nine homes for the elderly—all run by religious institutions and private entities.
The government maintains no such institutions in the provinces of Cebu, Bohol, Iloilo and Negros Oriental although it is tasked by law with giving priority to the elderly and promoting the well-being of the abandoned.
“The government should have one here soon,” says Arteria Degamo, lead coordinator of programs for the elderly under the Department of Social Welfare and Development in Central Visayas (DSWD-7).
Aging population
Nationwide, the government manages four residential care services for old persons neglected by their families. These are located in Quezon City, Rizal, Davao City and Zamboanga City.
More than 8 million, or 8.2 percent, of the Philippines’ population of 108.9 million are aged 60 and above, per a report of the Commission on Population and Development (PopCom). Of this group, 5 million (or 4.7 percent) are aged 65 and older.
The numbers place the Philippines closer to having an aging population—meaning, as defined by PopCom, at least 7 percent are over 65 years old.
In Central Visayas, abandoned elderly brought to the DSWD-7 are endorsed to private foster homes in Cebu, including the MOP’s House of the Lord.
Timoteo sought refuge in a convent when he got tired of living alone. The nuns turned him over to the foster home, which employs eight social workers, a nurse, a resident doctor, and three therapists.
The MOP provides free food, water, medicine, care and accommodation to its wards.
God’s people
“People should know that these elderly persons are gifts,” says Gumalay, whose congregation was established in Jamaica to serve the poorest of the poor. “That’s why we provide them with the dignity they deserve as children of
God. We want to lift them out of their poverty, that they may be recognized and loved as people. They are not garbage. They are God’s people.”
A seriously ill elderly is brought to hospital for treatment. In case of death, the congregation pays for all funeral and burial costs. Those who die under the MOP’s care are buried at the Roman Catholic cemetery in Barangay Calamba, Cebu City.
Gumalay says the congregation is planning to put up a cemetery of its own for its deceased elderly.
“We want to bring about the goodness of Christ, and make people see Christ in these elderly because every person reflects the image of our Lord,” he says.
Gumalay, a native of Bicol, does not worry about where to get enough funds to support the needs of the elderly.
“Our mission is more of a blessing than a burden,” he says. “It’s more of a consolation than worries. It’s more of relaxing than panicking. The Lord is providential. There’s much more to give than to ask.”
While the MOP’s wards need material items like clothing and food, Gumalay says, he believes that time and attention are the best gifts one can give.
“Their greatest happiness is to belong,” he says. “They are very happy when people visit them. Material things never satisfy. What they need is relationship. Spending time with them is priceless to them.”
‘Please help me’
Angelito Arañez, a lay MOP member, rises early each morning to feed and bathe the House of the Lord’s male residents.
His task as caregiver is tough and messy, and he admits that he found it “disgusting at first.”
But his close encounters with the elderly have changed his perspective.
“I was moved by their condition. When I look in their eyes, it’s as if they want to say something but can’t speak. It’s like they’re telling me ‘Please help me. I want to go to the toilet. I want to take a bath,’” says Arañez, 29. “If I were in their place, I, too, would want to feel clean, fresh and comfortable. If I don’t carry out the task, who else will?”
Caring for old people requires extra patience and commitment, says Arañez, who has been at the MOP for two years.
He believes that God has given him the grace to endure the toughness of his work and the motivation to serve the elderly.
“In my own capacity alone, I know I can’t do it,” he says. “I’m a vain person. But I think this is what the Lord wants me to do. In the elderly I take care of, I feel God’s presence—a God who suffers with them.” INQ
(To be concluded)