MANILA, Philippines?It appears that Press Secretary Cerge Remonde did not die a happy man.

Midway into his job as President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo?s chief communicator, he began experiencing what his widow, Marit Stinus Remonde, called a crisis of ?credibility? owing to the consistently negative publicity his boss was getting.

Speaking with reporters at Remonde?s wake at the Heritage Memorial Park in Taguig City shortly before Ms Arroyo arrived at 4:40 a.m. Wednesday, Marit said the issue of credibility had meant a lot to her husband of 15 years.

When asked if she regretted not being by her husband?s side on the day of his death, Marit collected her thoughts and replied: ?I believe we made the most out of our lives.?

She said that for the past nine years, she and her husband were living apart because of his work in Malacañang.

?He was bothered that people didn?t believe him anymore,? she said of Remonde, who was a longtime broadcaster before joining the Arroyo administration in 2001.

She added that her husband had planned to join a Manila newspaper at the end of Ms Arroyo?s term on June 30.

Per Marit?s account, Remonde was initially ?very excited? about his new job, which she said he got in February 2009 without the help of political connections.

But things turned sour in August when the President and her entourage were reported as paying some P1 million in public funds for a dinner at a French restaurant in New York.

Days later, another story came out alleging that Ms Arroyo and company had spent around P700,000 for a dinner at a steak house in Washington.

Coke Zero

Marit said Remonde tried his best to defend the President against fierce criticism and to put the issue in the proper perspective. She said he was particularly hurt over the New York episode because the purported splurge was simply ?not true.?

?That?s when it all started. He really felt bad about it. He felt he was not believed,? she recalled, adding:

?I was with him when the story came out and he said: ?But it was [Leyte Rep. Martin] Romualdez who invited us ? Others had wine but we had Coke Zero.? He thought it was no big deal.?

Since then, Remonde ?had no excitement anymore? about his job, Marit said.

?He felt that no matter what he said, it would still come out negative. We noticed that he was not really smiling so much ? He was not really so happy anymore. But I think he was also tired ? He was not getting enough rest,? she said.

Remonde succumbed to cardiac arrest on Tuesday.

In what proved to be his final visit to his home province of Cebu for the Sinulog festival last weekend, his wife noticed that he had forgotten to bring his mobile phone charger.

She said it indicated that Remonde had lost his eagerness to give interviews, unlike during his first few months as a press secretary.

?Great guy?

With Remonde?s image as a leading Arroyo defender, Marit said the man should be remembered for ?who he really was.?

?Cerge Remonde was a great guy. How can I explain that in a few words? You knew him. He was brilliant. He was very hardworking. He was very humble,? she said. ?Whatever he accomplished, he accomplished that on his own.?

To other reporters who came to the wake later Wednesday, Marit described her husband as a hard-working fellow who spent his waking hours attending to various tasks at the Office of the Press Secretary and spending time on Facebook, his newfound hobby.

She said that during the holidays, she helped him install software for his camera, which allowed him to upload pictures at the social networking website.

She recalled telling him that he wasn?t getting enough rest but that he ?insisted that he needed only four to five hours of sleep.?

?He?s a fantastic guy; he?s self-made,? she said when asked about her husband?s best qualities.

When asked if Remonde had shown signs of a deteriorating condition, Marit said she could not tell although he had seemed to be smiling less lately.

She said that despite his new hobby, Remonde seemed to be feeling the pressures of work.

Sleepless over hubby?s job

Marit said she was not keen on Remonde?s taking the press undersecretary job offered to him in 2001, the year Ms Arroyo assumed the presidency.

She said his friends phoned to assure her that the offer was his big break.

?I remember not sleeping that night,? Marit said of the day Remonde broke the news to her.

But she stood by him anyway, she said, adding that while the unusual setup was difficult to bear, it had its pros and cons.

Marit said Ms Arroyo?s trip to Copenhagen last year was the only time she joined the presidential entourage.

She said she and her husband were able to spend quality time together on the flight to her native Denmark, and that he also had time to be reacquainted with her family.

On other occasions, it was not very fortunate, Marit said. Remonde would sometimes be in Cebu while she was somewhere else, or she would be in Manila while he was out of town on official business.

There were also times when they were unable to celebrate a wedding anniversary?although, she quickly said, she was not really particular about dates.

What happened was, ?we grabbed the opportunity [to be] together,? she said.

What?s next?

Marit said her husband died so suddenly that she was at a loss what to do.

?I really don?t know, I really have no idea,? she told reporters who wanted to know what her plans were.

She said Ms Arroyo had also asked her about the matter.

?I?m in Cebu because Cerge [was] from Cebu. Right now, there?s nothing for me there,? she said. ?When this is over, that?s when I?m going to decide. We don?t have children, nothing that really keeps me here.?

Marit said she was thinking of returning to Denmark?but maybe not yet, she added, given the inclement weather in Europe.

She recalled that the last serious conversation she had with Remonde was about two days ago, when she asked him what they would do after Ms Arroyo?s term officially ends.

?He told me, ?We?ll leave it up to God,?? she said.

Former President Fidel Ramos dropped in at the wake Wednesday to offer his condolences to the widow.

?He?s a great loss to the government? and to the journalism profession, Ramos said of Remonde.

He recalled meeting Remonde when the latter was starting out as a reporter in Cebu who was engaged in a crusade against illegal drugs and dangerous activities.

?I hope there would be more Filipinos like him,? Ramos said.

Palpable absence

On Wednesday morning, the President motored to her home province of Pampanga without Remonde, her usual companion, by her side. He was to have joined her at the induction of officers and directors of Capampangan Media Inc. at the Fontana Convention Center in Clark.

Remonde?s absence also cast a shadow over the vin d?honneur, a New Year reception that Ms Arroyo hosted for foreign dignitaries, lawmakers, justices and Cabinet and other government officials in Malacañang.

?He will be sorely missed,? Ms Arroyo told reporters after paying her last respects to Remonde at the Heritage Memorial Park before dawn Wednesday.

The President spent 30 minutes talking with Marit about the man they lost.

Asked by reporters what they talked about, Ms Arroyo said: ?All the happy memories that we have. We had a birthday party for him in Hong Kong ... before the Christmas vacation.

?He said it was serendipitous because the restaurant was [named after] his father, Felix.?

Marit also said: ?We recalled our good times in Hong Kong when we celebrated his birthday.?

Felix Remonde died in his early 20s, when his son Cerge was only 11 months old.

Remonde often told reporters that he grew up without a father. And to compensate for this, he hung a portrait of the latter in his office at the New Executive Building.

Diggy

Ms Arroyo said Remonde was not close to her but was fond of her grandson Diggy, the son of Camarines Sur Rep. Diosdado Arroyo and his wife Kakai.

?He got along very well with my grandson Diggy because Cerge has no children,? she said.

Marit said she could feel that Ms Arroyo was saddened by her husband?s passing.

?It?s not only hard for me and for Cerge?s family in Argao (his hometown), it?s also hard for the President. She also loves him. He?s a very trusted secretary and friend. So I know that?s a big loss for her,? Marit said.

Despite the somber atmosphere at the wake, the two women shared a laugh over the couple?s private joke that Remonde, who was often seen with the President in Pampanga, would win if he ran for a seat in the provincial board.

Ms Arroyo is seeking a congressional seat representing the second district of Pampanga.

Silent prayer

At the start of the vin d?honneur at the Palace Wednesday afternoon, Ms Arroyo asked for a minute of silent prayer for Remonde.

The Papal Nuncio, Archbishop Edward Joseph Adams, offered condolences: ?On behalf of my colleagues in the diplomatic corps and myself, I?d like to offer heartfelt condolences to your Excellency on the sudden death of your Press Secretary Cerge Remonde. May the Almighty comfort him and comfort his family, and enable them to bear so great a loss.?

Remonde?s body will be brought to Malacañang?s Heroes? Hall for necrological services on Thursday.