Terminal cancer gives couple new life
By Ma. Ceres P. Doyo
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 01:07:00 04/27/2008
MANILA, Philippines—“My cancer, my blessing.” This was how Marisa Nerida described her stage-4 condition. And nothing was going to stand in the way of her profound joy.
Azure sky, azure sea. The setting was perfect. Brave, resolute and ready for what’s ahead, Marisa recently took the few steps to the altar to be wed again to the man who, one could say, was “once” and is “once again” her husband.
She had wished for this moment for a long time, and now she got the wedding of her dreams—by the sea, in this place blessed with coral gardens and undersea secrets waiting to be discovered.
Marisa, 56, and Danny Nerida, 59, were wed “again” and truly reunited -- this time for good -- as husband and wife at high noon on April 23 in moving rites at an Anilao beach house in Mabini, Batangas. Their two sons, Noel and Tom, walked mom to the altar and into the arms of dad.
A dozen or so rambunctious cancer survivors clad in flowery attire acted as principal and secondary sponsors.
Ten of them (two had battled colon cancer, the rest had breast and ovarian cancer) were secondary sponsors. Marisa Oreta, who had survived stage-4 colon cancer and a most difficult life-threatening surgical procedure, was among the sponsors. So was multi-awarded film and TV director Marilou Diaz-Abaya, who shrugged off her breast cancer as “the garden variety.” Both are very well.
Marisa and Danny had been separated for years, but this is getting ahead of the story.
Panunumbalik means returning, renewing. This was the running theme of the Mass and wedding rite officiated by Fr. Hector Baniel, whose moving homily -- loudly startling in some parts -- stirred the crowd and the sea creatures.
“This is the moment …” pop singer Erik Santos crooned and emoted. Marisa broke into tears as she recited her vows while Danny put up a brave front. The bride wore a bandana and a hand-painted katsa (cheesecloth) get-up while the groom sported a camisa de chino, also in katsa. Color choice was bright pink, the color of cancer survivors.
It was a day of tears and laughter, music and fun. Who said cancer survivors can’t have the time of their lives?
Headstrong and gutsy, Marisa was a scholar in the United States during her high school days. She and Danny met when they were in college.
They were married 38 years ago on April 24, 1971. The marriage broke apart in 1978. From the beginning, it was not an easy union. Tempestuous might be an understatement. The couple got together again in 1989, lived under one roof but, Marisa stressed, only and strictly “as best of friends” until …
Their four children -- Sherryl, Noel, Tom and Aris -- had seen the marriage ride and crash and, recently, soar with the waves. Were their parents ever going to get back together again as more than just friends?
A management graduate, Marisa proved her mettle in the business world and engaged in labor recruitment for the Middle East. The company expanded, she was abroad a lot, leaving operations to subordinates. This proved to be her undoing.
“I was able to pay back hundreds of applicants who were not able to leave for jobs abroad then I ran out of money,” she recalled. “Those I couldn’t pay back filed charges against me.”
Marisa spent time in the city jail with common criminals. “I thought,” she said, “here I was, a one-time US scholar, and I was in jail.”
In 1997, Marisa was sentenced to a minimum of eight to a maximum of 13 years in prison for estafa and illegal recruitment. She was going to serve time at the Correctional Institution for Women. It was the darkest time of her life.
She was on her fourth year at the women’s prison when a growth in her ovary was discovered during a routine check-up. Tests showed ovarian cancer, stage 4.
Marisa underwent chemotherapy and was on her second cycle when she received a presidential pardon. She had worked for her case to be reviewed.
On Jan. 15, 2001, she walked free but only to continue her battle with cancer and finish her chemotherapy. She didn’t think she had much time. The following years saw her mend family matters and deepen her relationship with God. In 2003, she underwent a triple heart bypass surgery.
She and her family had gone through a lot. But it wasn’t all bad news.
“Oggie and Tess (Pangilinan) de los Reyes invited us to a marriage encounter,” Marisa said. This was under the group, Pag-ibig ng Diyos. The experience was the beginning of Marisa and Danny’s renewed relationship, not just as friends but as a married couple. “We wouldn’t be Mr. and Mrs. Nerida again if not for them. Please, I want to give credit to Oggie and Tess.”
The De los Reyes couple was among those who stood as sponsors at last week’s wedding rites.
In March 2007, Marisa received some bad news. The cancer had metastasized to her bones.
“It’s inoperable,” she said, “and I am making the most of the time that is left. The chemotherapy and radiation are not a cure but to give me quality of life. Now I can do what I want, eat what I want. I am spiritually and emotionally prepared. I am not afraid.”
Marisa is a member of Carewell (Cancer and Resource and Wellness Community), an affiliate of the international The Wellness Community.
“It was Dr. Annielyn Ong-Cornell who told me about Carewell,” she said.
Carewell was founded by Robert “Bobbit” Suntay and his late wife, Jackie, a doctor who died of ovarian cancer in 2005 at the age of 36.
The couple had just finished their Harvard studies in the United States when Jackie’s cancer was diagnosed. Their experience of a support group while Jackie was undergoing treatment abroad inspired them to put up an affiliate in the Philippines and form linkages with other cancer support groups here.
Marisa and Danny’s wedding was held at Bobbit and Jackie’s beach house in Anilao, an area famous for its dive sites. Both avid divers, Bobbit and Jackie spent many happy years here. Those happy years spilled out into The Carewell Community. Carewell became fully operational in January 2007 and is open to everyone with cancer who needs support.
Bobbit was one of the principal sponsors at the Neridas’ renewal of vows.
It was at the Carewell’s comfortable and comforting office that Marisa and Danny’s wedding was hatched.
Marisa recalled: “One time, we, the Carebelles of Carewell were in this place called Field of Faith and I made this wish, that Danny and I could marry again.”
The wish was heard and so it came to be.
“I said to Danny, kahit banana-cue lang” (banana-cue would do after the wedding),” a tearful Marisa told the Inquirer during an interview at Carewell. “Danny agreed. We may feel like we are the poorest now but I know we are the richest in friends.”
The Carebelles, Marisa’s fellow cancer survivors who are regulars at Carewell, left no stone unturned preparing for the wedding day.
The pièce de résistance for the big day? “Hawaiian Wedding Song” from the movie “Blue Hawaii.”
It was last year, in November 2007, that Danny and Marisa decided, felt and knew that they were no longer just friends, that they were husband and wife again.
Last week, 38 years later, almost to the day of their first wedding, they wed again. “This was my only wish,” said Marisa, “that before I go, God will bless us again as husband and wife.”
In the maiden issue of Carewell’s newsletter that came out several months ago, Marisa wrote about the challenge that she considered a blessing. “My cancer, My blessing,” was the title of her piece. “I really mean it,” she said.
“A celebration of life and love and a luau by the sea,” Danny and Marisa’s wedding invitation read. “As endless as the waves, our love is meant to be.”
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(Carewell is on the sixth floor of the S&L Bldg, De la Rosa corner Esteban Streets, Legaspi Village, Makati City. Tel. No. 751-0242, 815-1294. E-mail: info@carewellcommunity.org. website: www.carewellcommunity.org)
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