Becoming
Too many of us are hurling ourselves unto the nearest empty space. We don’t know where to go, so we listen to what everyone else is saying. We copy what others want and aspire for what the world tells us. “I therefore, must have that newest gizmo with the intelligent voice that tells me where to eat.” “I from this point onwards must have the pin-straight hair that will surely make me content.” Nowadays, the dictation assaults all our senses and it never ever stops.
We become like buffaloes in a china shop—hurtling our energies this way and that. This is terrible, we not only hurting ourselves—but we hurt other people too.
EXAMEN
Dennis, Sheila and Matthew Linn have written a charming and an insightful book on dealing with such misdirection. Less than 75 pages long and illustrated like a children’s book “Sleeping with Bread: Holding What Give You Life” (St. Pauls Philippines, Manila, 1995) is starkly simple in its instructions, yet quite wise and profound.
The authors write in the first page that “For many years, we have ended each day the same way. We light a candle, become aware of God’s loving presence and take about five minutes of quiet while we ask ourselves two questions: for what moment today am I most grateful and for what moment today am I least grateful?” There are many other ways to ask the same question. When did I feel most alive today and when did I most feel life draining out of me? When did I have the greatest sense of belonging to myself, others, God and the universe? When did I have the least sense of belonging? When was I happiest today and when was I saddest?
ANYONE AND EVERYONE
The Examen is attributed to St. Ignatius of Loyola, who has guided centuries of retreatants through the spiritual exercises. These Exercises begin by recommending that everyone be taught the Examen—the same spiritual exercise that transformed him from “wild soldier to a pilgrim walking barefoot to Jerusalem.”
The Examen has purposes for all. It leads the pessimist to discover that there were several points of light and joy during the day. In the moments of desolation, the negative thinker can name it, feel it, appreciate it and know that God is with him even in that dark moment. The Denial Queen—who is addicted to always feeling good and peaceful—will be able to “acknowledge feelings of sadness and pain and hear how God is speaking through them.”
As one does the Examen every day, a pattern emerges and announces itself. Agnes Sanford calls this our “sealed orders”—our purpose. The more we listen to how our spirit, minds and bodies react to our everyday, quotidian events, the clearer it becomes. One regular Examen practitioner relates that “When I am in touch with the special purpose of my life and carrying out my sealed orders, I have a profound sense of consolation or rightness and my whole body relaxes.” She feels as if the purpose of her life is built into the very cells of her body.
EXAMEN PROCESS
It begins with a candle. We light a candle to symbolize the divine revelation that speaks into our everyday lives. Or do whatever helps you to experience unconditional love. For example, one can imagine a favorite place with someone whose love you trust the most. Breathe in that love.
Place you hand on your heart and ask God to bring into your heart the moment today for which you are most grateful. If you could relive one moment, which one would it be? What was said in that moment that made it most special? Breathe in the gratitude and receive life again from that moment.
Ask God to bring to your heart the moment today for which you are least grateful. When were you least able to give and receive love? What was in that moment that made it most difficult? Be with whatever you feel without trying to change or fix it.
Give thanks for what you have experienced. You may want to share it with a friend or write it down. Your family can also do the Examen as a new tradition.
As 2012 comes towards the bend, the Examen helps us to see the approaching days in a new light—from dread to anticipation, from tediousness to purposefulness and from the darkness to the fragrant dawn. We slowly become the people we were always meant to be.
