Raising honest young
Since we are now exerting efforts at fighting and ending corruption, I keep thinking about what can be done to bring up young people of integrity. The first thing that came to mind was nurturing a sense of self-worth. With this a child would be less fearful and more self-confident. This child would not feel the need to pretend. Having been welcomed from the moment of conception and totally accepted, he or she would not find it too difficult to accept limitations or admit mistakes.
Without irrational expectations, children can explore a variety of interests without the need to hide what might be digressions from parental wishes. We also need to listen very well to our children, because they need to learn from us how to listen intently, not only from external communication, but also the internal voices – their inner voices, including their consciences. Of course, it is difficult to teach honesty, while we surround the child with a lack of straightforwardness and unfairness.
We are now challenged with all the discussions of waste, dishonesty, and corruption in our society. We need to process these. It is crucial that children will not view these as the norm or the natural flow. We need to bring their attention to the victims, to the deprivations that corruption brings about: unfinished roads, dilapidated schools, the limited government services, as well as inspire them with the idealism and heroism of those who go against the current. Let us pray with them for those in the midst of the scandals, who have to make lonely, painful decisions.
The same is true for a school. An effort must be made at consistency and fairness. We can also remind them of how the young orphaned Andres Bonifacio refused to sell a fan of poor quality. He chased a buyer of his canes in order to give the correct change. There are many historical figures to hold up as role models.
We can use the situation to make our students dig deeper into the causes, the roots of corruption in Philippine society.
Teaching has to be effective. Examinations actually measure the intended learnings. If teaching has failed and examinations are unreasonably difficult, students are pressured to take extraordinary measures. I actually wish I had made learning truly fun and exciting, so that my students would have learned not only the subject matter better but also absorbed an honest to goodness love of learning.
Teamwork and mentoring have to be emphasized, while intense competition neutralized to avoid a “by hook or by crook” mentality.
As the child grows, she or he needs to realize that easy does not do it. To learn skills, to accumulate knowledge, to become principled demand perseverance, require practice, regular consistent dedicated effort. And there is a struggle that needs to be waged. When I want to stress this, I bring in the great masters in the arts and let the students marvel at the ease the artists display during the performance and then discuss the years of training and practice that led to their excellent performance.
Family members need to resist the temptation to let pupils or students hand in work done by the adults when the students asks for their help in projects and other challenging assignments.
Many happenings surrounding the young these days imprint a “getrich-quick” mentality; from various forms of gambling to game shows. This may lead to an inclination towards taking shortcuts and seeking happiness via money and material things. It is time to return to the original things that brought real joy to us, simple island people. Young people need to be inspired by the Christian definition of authentic success. Grandparents and other elders have a special role here. They have to creatively bring this to light without “sermonizing.”
The desperate condition of our planet, Mother Earth has moved us towards environmental awareness and action. Many are beginning to embrace the motto: Live simply that others may simply live. Many young people have begun to live this principle. They are beginning to reject the wastefulness of the throw-away societies. They are changing their life-styles so that they do less harm to Mother Earth: re-using things, creatively re-cycling materials, enjoying healthy activities that do not need too many gadgets, eating natural products that do not require too much processing and too much cost. These do not require extravagance. The new perspective brings a shift from accumulation to attention to being and becoming.
Again, grandparents can play a role. They can plan and arrange simple, low-cost get-togethers where the the emphasis is on the warmth of bonding and other simple experiences like serene afternoons enjoyed in the company of good books with fresh fruits in season or healthy homemade delicacies. We can all get high on these warm, simple, activities of sharing and caring.
