Latest Stories

Salins Hulbot

For the love of Sotto, nudists and Middle East


Love Guru (LG): Dayon, Nyor Gamay. Maayo kay nakaligo ko ron ug nga di na ka kimawan makig-istorya nako. Kape? Dia koy Nescafe Gold nga 3-in-1, Nyor. Tilawi.

Nyor Gamay (NG): Hain na man diay imong Kopiko?

LG: Nahutdan ta Nyor. O dia na imong kape. Ayawg higupa dayun kay mahilis unya imong lagos. Unsa man tay akong ikaalagad nimo?

NG: Mangayo ta kos imong mga panahum sa mga issues karon.

LG: Haha. Kadaghang pamantalaan, Nyor. Napuno na silag kolumnista. Naa pa gyuy mga bag-ong bloggers nga lapad-lapad na ang kasayuran.

NG: Ganahan ko nimo Nyor kay simang kag tubag unya mugbo ra.

LG: Mao ba. A maayo sad hinuon para ikaw na lay mosuwat sa akong book of quotes, hahaha.

NG: Bitaw Guru, unsaon ta naman nis Tito Sotto nga human nangayog pasaylo sa mga Kennedy nanabla na man hinuon og miingong si John F. Kennedy plagiarist sab.

LG: Usa ray tambag nako ni Sotto Nyor: attribute or paraphrase. Or paraphrase and attribute. Daghan pang mobilib niya. Makaingon sila nga ngiga aning Tito, o, daghan mag nabsahan.

NG: Bitaw Guru. Kaning gihangyo nga ceasefire sa mga nasud nga duol sa Israel ug Palestine.

LG: Way Ceasefire.

NG: Ha?

LG: Unya lami ra imong kape?

NG: Lami, Nyor, pero tam-is ra kaayo.

LG: Sakto ka Nyor, lami pero mura pang bata. Nawala ang iyang kapait nga atong ma-associate sa kape. Sa giingon nilang ceasefire, may tingali nga mandatory nga after 24 hours nga di motira ang mga Hamas sa Israel, moundang nag tira ang Israel. Inig usab sa Hamas aw pauwanan na sab sa Israel ang ilang mga kontra.

NG: Bawos-bawos, Nyor? One is to one ang exchange.

LG: Dili. Way sukod sa bawos.

NG: Kaning duso sa Konseho sa San Francisco nga i-ban na ang nudity sa ilang lugar.

LG: Problema nas di kahibaw molingiw. Adtong usang semana Nyor diha may babaye nga gahubo sa dan C. Padilla ning dakbayan. Diri man kos luyo sa jeepney unya gaatubang man siyas direction sa Jai-Alai mao nga luyo nay akong nakit-an. May kuyog syang laing babaye nga nagngisi.

NG: Mao ba Nyor? Pero unsa man ning exhibit sa Vienna sa mga male nude art pieces. Sa akong nabasahan shocking lang kuno gihapon sa taga-didto male nudity.

LG: Ambot lang Nyor kay wa man ko kaadtog Vienna pero sa ato kun ang lake makakitag babaye nga gahubo mohilom nig kalit. Pero kon babaye makakitag lalake nga gahubo, makuratan kini unya mopadaplin unya muokatawa. Dihay kausa nga mi-shoot kog nude nga mga lalake sa tunga-tunga sa dagat sa mga isla nga duol Mactan.

Gilibutan mig mga mananagat nga ngapunay og tudlo sa mga kinatawo sa gahubo ug nagsige silag katawa. Ang atong kultura nga wa pa kaayoy malisya magkatawa sa male nude form. Sa Vienna ug sa ubang parte sa Europe medyo may hilas na ning gamay.

NG: Mao ba Nyor? Salamat kaayo sa imong kape ug mga pulong.

LG: Balik-balik kay motilaw na sab tas San Miguel coffee next time.

Follow Us

Follow us on Facebook Follow on Twitter Follow on Twitter

Other Stories:

More from this Column:

Recent Stories:

Complete stories on our Digital Edition newsstand for tablets, netbooks and mobile phones; 14-issue free trial. About to step out? Get breaking alerts on your mobile.phone. Text ON INQ BREAKING to 4467, for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers in the Philippines.

Copyright © 2014, .
To subscribe to the Philippine Daily Inquirer newspaper in the Philippines, call +63 2 896-6000 for Metro Manila and Metro Cebu or email your subscription request here.
Factual errors? Contact the Philippine Daily Inquirer's day desk. Believe this article violates journalistic ethics? Contact the Inquirer's Reader's Advocate. Or write The Readers' Advocate:
c/o Philippine Daily Inquirer Chino Roces Avenue corner Yague and Mascardo Streets, Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines Or fax nos. +63 2 8974793 to 94
  1. Fr. Suarez says last Mass on Easter before returning donated land to San Miguel
  2. Chinese lawyers say they were tortured by police
  3. Hair salon’s Kim Jong Un poster riles embassy
  4. Siquijor ‘healer’: For every cure, there’s a plant
  5. State seeks guilty verdict for Abalos
  6. Why college grads end up in the PNP
  7. Estrada: I will pray for my detractors
  8. Miraculous image makes Gapan City top site for pilgrimage in Central Luzon
  9. I’ll follow my conscience on Estrada, says JV Ejercito
  10. Five men from Cavite found dead in jeep in Batangas
  1. Suspect in Vhong Navarro mauling tries to leave PH
  2. MH370 co-pilot made mid-flight phone call – report
  3. Netizens cry: 6/55 Lotto was rigged
  4. I’ll follow my conscience on Estrada, says JV Ejercito
  5. ‘Wife of Jesus’ theory papyrus not fake – Harvard study
  6. Fr. Suarez says last Mass on Easter before returning donated land to San Miguel
  7. Gay college instructor arrested for oral sex with student
  8. ‘King’ Yabut and I: Driver bares Makati dad ‘abuses’
  9. It was difficult having Japanese blood
  10. Palace: We can’t blame increase in population on Vitangcol
  1. KL confirms Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 ended in Indian Ocean
  2. MRT passengers pass the hat for 6-year-old Ashley
  3. Pork payoffs to newscasters Erwin Tulfo, Del Prado, others bared
  4. UP back on top as ‘average’ student aces bar
  5. Rookie, lady cops lauded for quick response to MOA heist
  6. Model Helena Belmonte wished ‘to slash her wrist and hope to die’
  7. Malaysia averts another air tragedy; pilot lands troubled plane safely
  8. Revilla says he was joking; Lacson stands by his story
  9. Revilla ‘consulted’ Lacson on how he evaded arrest
  10. Police rule out foul play in Helena Belmonte’s death as boyfriend is ‘traumatized’


  • 20 killed as Islamic extremists rampage in Nigeria
  • Drug firm Novartis to help Leyte firefighter
  • Fears grow for hundreds missing in South Korea ferry capsize
  • Robot sub makes first complete search for plane
  • uFly fires flight simulator who appeared on CNN
  • Sports

  • Federer would skip tennis to be with wife, newborn
  • Manny Pacquiao in PBA? If so, he’ll wear No. 17
  • PSC sets Blu Girls US training
  • Power Pinoys settle for 7th place
  • Successful coaches to get raise
  • Lifestyle

  • Pro visual artists, lensmen to judge Pagcor’s photo contest
  • ‘Labahita a la bacalao’
  • This is not just a farm
  • Clams and garlic, softshell crab risotto–not your usual seafood fare for Holy Week
  • Moist, extra-tender blueberry muffins
  • Entertainment

  • Jay Z to bring Made in America music fest to LA
  • Why Lucky has not bought an engagement ring for Angel
  • Derek more private with new girlfriend
  • ‘Community’ star happy with return of show’s creator
  • Jealousy is kid stuff
  • Business

  • PH presses bid to keep rice import controls
  • PSEi continues to gain
  • Number of retrenched workers rose by 42% in ’13
  • PH seen to sustain rise in FDIs
  • Gov’t subsidies to state firms fell in first 2 months
  • Technology

  • DOF: Tagaytay, QC best at handling funds
  • Smart phone apps and sites perfect for the Holy Week
  • Tech company: Change passwords or suffer ‘Heartbleed’
  • Filling the digital talent gap
  • SSS to shut down website for Holy Week
  • Opinion

  • Editorial cartoon, April 17, 2014
  • A humbler Church
  • Deepest darkness
  • ‘Agnihotra’ for Earth’s health
  • It’s the Holy Week, time to think of others
  • Global Nation

  • Japan says visa-free entry still a plan
  • First Fil-Am elected to Sierra Madre, Calif. city council
  • UC Irvine cultural night to dramatize clash of values in immigrant family
  • Filipino sweets and info served at UC Berkeley Spring Fest
  • Milpitas, California kids wrap up a successful run of ‘The Wiz’
  • Marketplace